Curbishley Set To Drive Another Nail Into Our Coffin

Seated in his brown Volvo, towing the caravan down to Stone for the weekend, that "Claret and Blue to the core Hammers fan" Alan Turds Curbishley was no doubt delighted to hear about Keegan's constructive dismissal victory on Five Live. Here is the precedent Turds was looking for. Keegan won because he did not have the final say on transfers, which is precisely the reason AC gave for walking out on West Ham. Never mind that Keegan and Curbishley had both proved themselves inept in the transfer market, it would seem from the Keegan ruling that a club has to leave a manager in charge of transfer dealings anyway.

Lord Justice Pompousass is probably writing his ruling even now. "The fact that Mr Curbishley wasted a fortune on Mr Quashi, Mr Davenport, Mr Ljungberg and Mr Dyer is utterly and completely irrelevant, as is his pursuit of Mr Ben Thatcher immediately before being relieved of the final say on who came and went from West Ham. Although it is evident that Mr Ilunga and Mr Behrami were bargains identified by Mr Nani and that Sunderland overpaid for Mr McCartney and Mr Ferdinand, two players that Mr Curbishley did not want sold, that is not a valid reason for preventing a manager from making further mistakes. Mr Curbishley should have been allowed to complete the job of bankrupting West Ham and the Board had no right whatsoever to intervene. I therefore award Mr Curbishley compensation of £5m which West Ham can raise by selling one of Mr Green or Mr Upson to Tottenham Hotspurs."