Liverpool Linked With Villas Boas, Benitez and Avram Grant

So let's try to follow the logic here shall we? Liverpool sack Dalglish - no attempt to move him upstairs you will note which is a shoddy way to treat a man who has served the club in every decade since the 1970s - and the two favourites to replace him are a guy who bombed out appallingly at Chelsea in his only job in England and the guy who bombed out before Dalglish was appointed.

Can you imagine what would happen if either were appointed given the number of English players currently in the squad? Benitez would be splashing cash on no mark Spaniards in no time, and Villas-Boas would drop Gerrard and Carragher and destroy the dressing room in the space of six months.

God help whoever takes over. It was bad enough succeeding Presidente Benitez, replacing King Kenny will be fraught with dangers, especially if the Carling Cup is not retained! 61% of the fans wanted Kenny chopped, but that will be forgotten very quickly when the new man struggles like his predecessors. Who, in his right mind, would want the job? It is a poison chalice because Liverpool are in terminal decline.

Mind you, Avram Grant wouldn't probably take it. Or Gianfranco Zola. Or Alan Curbishley. Or Allardyce might fancy it actually. Or maybe Gerrard could become player manager!

David Gold and David Sullivan Both Kick The Bucket!

What's the chances of that then? It's not so long ago that the News Now boards were full of reports on the death of David Gold, and now the Wilts Herald and Gazette have written David Sullivan's obituary too! It seems that owning West Ham is a real killer!

Of course, Mr Gold was relieved to discover that reports of his death were somewhat over stated - he was indeed alive as he read the articles, for the David Gold in question was the front man of Woods of Ypres. And now the Gobby One will no doubt receive assurances from his personal nurse - kitted out by Ann Summers - that he still has a pulse, for the DS in question was the Devizes rugby coach.

So it is relief all round at Upton Park. Let's hope Saturday's game isn't too tense - after both being reported dead in the last couple of months, the last thing either need is any heart stopping moments!

(Meanwhile, to stop the PC brigade from wading in, condolences are extended to the family of the David Sullivan who has left us.)

Desperate Dann A West Ham Man?

So, we are being linked with Scott Dann, now of Blackburn Rovers and formerly of Birmingham City. Anybody spot the problem if we do secure promotion on Saturday?

Tell me, why would you want a centre back that has suffered relegation from the Prem in two consecutive seasons exactly? He's cheap!

Balance of Hodgson's Squad All Wrong

A disappointing first act as England manager in my book. It's true that Woy's options are limited, what with the Terry / Ferdinand dispute, the injuries to Bent and Rodwell and the suspension of Rooney for the first two games, but there's no getting away from the fact that Hodgson has cocked up the balance of his squad.

23 players means you have the option of two players for every position, and three for the goalkeeping berth, so why on earth are we going in with just seven defenders? Micah Richards may not be everybody's cup of tea - and Capello clearly did not rate him - but he is two defenders rolled into one, providing cover for right back and centre back. His inclusion would have left open the option of playing Jones as a holding midfielder should the need arise, and of playing Glenn Johnson on the right of midfield.

Instead, Hodgson has left himself with a potential headache in the event of yellow cards and injuries. Who amongst the nine selected midfielders has the ability to offer defensive cover exactly? Barry's days as a left back are long gone - he barely has the pace to function in midfield - and apart from him, there's nobody.

Meanwhile, up front we are very lightweight. Defoe cannot lead the line alone so I'm surprised Crouch wasn't taken in his stead. Does Carroll deserve to go? Of course not, but I would have included him regardless.

Anybody think we stand a chance of winning it? Anybody care?

Tottenham's Scott Parker, One Captain Wonder!

Well that must be some sort of record surely? How many captains of England have lasted for just one game?

The appointment of Parker was always flawed. He wasn't captain of West Ham and he isn't captain of Tottenham either - for a reason. He isn't captain material.

Yes Scotty is passionate, yes Scotty is committed, but no, Scotty aint bright - neither on nor off the field. And the responsibility is no good for him either. Parker needs no additional incentive to dive in to tackles nor to run around the pitch like a headless chicken. If he has a career as an England player it is in a strictly limited role: sitting and holding, not trying to lead from the front and charging all over the pitch in consequence - as he did in Claret and Blue.

Mind you, he might not even be fit. And if he can't make it, who steps in? Jordan Henderson. Worrying or what?

Allardyce Overreacts - And the question is, why?

What a storm in a bloody tea cup. Steve Kean, obviously on the back of a few, mouths off in a bar and, as a throw away response to a question from a fan as to why Allardyce was sacked says, "Because he's a fcuking crook"; and now, allegedly, Doctor Evil is suing him. If true, what an absurd over reaction!

Now I'm not defending Kean here - he comes across as a stereotypical gobby and obnoxious Scot in the You Tube clip - but if Allardyce has really instructed solicitors then it makes you wonder why, exactly, he is so sensitive about the charge. If somebody gobs off in a bar and calls me gay, I'm not going to get upset about it, because I know I'm not homosexual. However, if somebody is trying to keep his sexual urges secret, then he might just take issue mightn't he?

Now I am NOT saying Allardyce is a crook nor that this was the reason why Blackburn sacked him. The ultra cautious response of the press to this story suggests that would be a very, very silly thing to do. The BBC tried to make certain allegations stick and, at the end of the day, had to back down. Like 'Arry, Sam is either whiter than white (which very few of us are!) or has a very good pot of whitewash and a very good team of lawyers to direct the decorators on how exactly to apply it!

What I am saying, however, is that this is a needless distraction in the build up to Saturday's game and that Allardyce would have done better to ignore it. Unless, of course, ignoring it would be dangerous for reasons that we do not know and must not speculate about. 

Avram Grant is Just Champion

Interesting to see that Avram Grant has won the title with Partizan Belgrade. Not bad for a useless tosser who only gets jobs because of the Jewish cabal that controls the world according to a certain Muslim poster on here.

And Gianfranco Zola? He hasn't won a title. In fact he hasn't even landed a job. But then he isn't Jewish is he Stani?

Birmingham and Villa United in Celebration as McLeish is Sacked!

It takes a lot for Birmingham and Villa fans to agree about anything football related - but tonight they will be chinking glasses at the news that the ginger tosser has been thrown out of work. The appointment was always perverse and the decision of McLeish to travel across the divide was downright disgusting, so the only disappointing aspect is that Villa escaped relegation by the skin of their teeth. They deserved to go down.

So everybody in Birmingham is happy tonight. Although they are probably breaking into a sweat in West Bromwich and Wolverhampton. The last thing the fans of both clubs need is for McLeish to be available!

What the Hell is going on with the Olympic Stadium bid?

Cards on the table, I don't want to move there and have never wanted to move there, but that doesn't stop me feeling aggrieved at the way the rules seem to change every time we get close to securing the Olympic Stadium. We've already been awarded the stadium once and second time around, with no other worthwhile bids coming forward, it was as good as ours, only for the goal posts to be moved again, with the bidding deadline extended.

What is going on exactly? Presumably our bid has got so many conditions and caveats attached that the London Legacy Committee are running scared of awarding it to us. Either that or Levy and Hearn are slipping a few back handers in a desperate attempt to derail our bid.

Something stinks in Stratford - and it's not just the toilet in the Hemelaya!

QPR's Barton Has Flipped. Section Him Quick!

Barton's flipped this time. There was madness in his eyes on the pitch on Sunday but his Twatter attacks on Shearer and Lineker reveal a man totally out of control.

We know he is dangerous based on his "previous" and his present ravings suggest that he could be a real threat to himself and others unless somebody steps in and sorts him out. If ever there was a case for sending in the guys with the white coats, this is surely it!

Deeply disturded and very disturbing. He needs help!

West Ham Reconsider Move For QPR's Barton

With Barton facing a lengthy ban following his latest act of thuggery, Sullivan and Gold are hastily reconsidering plans to sign the brother of the Manchester hatchet man. As if his mindless antics on the field were not enough, Barton has compounded matters by twattering that stage two and three, following the issuing of the red card, were a deliberate attempt to get a rival player sent off with him. Laughably, Barton even tries to suggest that he was doing it for the team, on the suggestion of a teammate.

So out goes the mitigating claim of temporary insanity. Instead, Barton has confirmed cynicism and premeditation to add to the charge sheet of sheer thuggery. The ban is sure now to stretch to months - at the very least; and a lifetime ban really would be the most appropriate sanction if the FA and Premier League can find a way of making it stick. The PFA really shouldn't object because this animal represents a threat to their other members.

And what should QPR do? Newcastle were brave enough to send him packing and QPR must surely have a clause in his contract allowing termination covering exactly this sort of event. Sadly, there will be another unscrupulous club willing to take him on should the Hoops, belatedly, do the decent thing; let's hope upon hope that Sullivan & Gold do not see this as an opportunity to repopulate the squad on the cheap!

QPR Survive By Skin of Their Teeth and Chris Foy's Incompetence!

So how right have I been proved exactly? All season I have maintained that QPR would survive - just. In the early months of the season I warned the gRs that it would be a season of struggle and they mocked, claiming there was no way in a million years that a team backed by the billions of Mital and the ego of Fernandes could go down. Then, when they collectively despaired, I explained that Rangers would survive courtesy of the failings of others - and that's EXACTLY how it has worked out.

Mind you, it sounds very much as if Fernandes owes a large cheque to a certain Chris Foy whose perverse refereeing decisions robbed Bolton of the victory that would have seen them survive at QPR's expense. There's a lot of talk about goal line technology but that would simply scratch the surface. Today a team was relegated because of the incompetence of a referee and that can't be right. Surely once technology is accepted, all controversial goals should be referred to a fourth official.

What a great last day of the Prem it proved to be - with Bolton robbed, QPR surviving and Ferguson choking on his red wine with that last gasp Man City winner. Only in England can this happen season after season - which is why, for all its technical flaws, the English game remains the most exciting in the world.

Anyway, congratulations to QPR and to Mark Hughes. Let's hope we will meet each other next season and that Barton will still be a Hoop and not in Claret and Blue!

Congratulations to Birmingham & Leeds Fans

The response to two recent threads has been absolutely overwhelming. In the case of the "Miserable, Miserable Week for Birmingham" post I have been knocked sideways by the level headedness of Birmingham fans. Instead of recriminations, almost to a man, woman, and child, they seem happy with what has been achieved this season, recognising the huge problems that Hughton faced at the start of the season and accepting that promotion was at best a dream.

Contrast that attitude to our expectations. There are allegations that we are arrogant, that we have seen a return to the Prem as a God given right, and that presumption has caused genuine ill will towards us. From "Good Old West Ham", everybody's second team, we have become the obnoxiously arrogant cheating bastards of Tevez, Sullivan, Gold and Allardyce. Our character profile has undergone the sort of rewrite enjoyed by Ben Mitchell in Eastenders!

As I posted, I have until now held Birmingham in contempt but Hughton and their fans have persuaded me around to a new respect. Obviously I desperately hope that we are not in the Championship next season but I now have a further reason for hoping for promotion because without the rivalry provoked by sharing the same division, I will be able to cheer Hughton's boys to promotion next season.

And so to Leeds. One of the services that Blogspot offer is statistical analysis of site traffic and the most hit thread of all time was one based upon Ikea Joorabchian's claim that Leeds had signed a player on a Third Party agreement posted back in October 2011 (http://thegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/kia-joorabchian-says-leeds-signed.html). Well that record has now been broken, with the hit count for yesterday's thread on the possibility of Warnock's time at Leeds ending in tears at 12,071 already  (http://thegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/leeds-and-warnock-heading-for-nasty.html.)

Now the quality of response from Leeds fans has not always been of the same calibre as those of the Birmingham fans - what do you expect given they are dirty Northern bastards? - but the sheer volume of hits is incredible. Give them their due, the tight fisted wife beating Yorkshiremen remain unbelievably loyal to a club who have been shit for so long.

Congratulations To Young Potts - A True Hero

This blog is criticised for being excessively negative at times, but every now and then, even a miserable old sod like me has to throw all cynicism aside and pay tribute. It was unavoidable in the case of Fabrice Muamba and the same applies to Dan Potts.

Who knows if the kid will go on to be a star of the future? He only appeared four times for the first team and as Sears shows, early promise does not always crystalise into a real gem. But that is not the point. As soon as Potts kicked a ball for the first team he climbed a personal mountain that would have intimidated the vast majority of us. For this boy was battling leukaemia just two years ago.

So Potts deserves total respect irrespective of what may or may not happen into the future. Fingers crossed that he goes on to emulate his father but with knobs on, securing a host of international caps for England and winning a treasure trove of medals in Claret and Blue. But at the end of the day, does any of that really matter? Potts is alive and kicking and that is a cause for celebration in itself.

Well done Dan: everything is now a bonus.

Well Played Pards! Newcastle have won something at last!

It shows what a fantastic job Pardew has done that the tradition of naming the manager of the Champions as Manager of the Year has been abandoned to give Pants Down the award.

Does he deserve it? Well there were a few contenders. The guys in charge of Swansea and Norwich have worked a minor miracle too, and Wigan's late run means that Martinez must have been in with a shout. And to be fair to Redknapp, he has exceeded most people's expectations at Tottenham too.

But who expected Newcastle to finish in the top half of the table, never mind compete for a Champions League place? When Nolan and Barton followed Carroll out of the club, most people expected a relegation struggle, including disgruntled Newcastle fans. Instead, Pardew made a couple of brilliant signings and inspired Newcastle to play out of their skins.

When I suggested that Pardew should be re-appointed when Curbishley left, people scoffed. Well look what we missed out on!

Leeds and Warnock - Heading for a Nasty Divorce?

What has happened at Leeds? At the beginning of the season, most people expected them to be a real force, not marking them down for automatic promotion but as strong favourites for the Play Offs. Under Grayson, their form was patchy but they were still in with a good shout, and when Warnock was appointed many people, including myself, expected a late season charge. But talk about ending with a whimper! Leeds disappeared off the radar faster than a plane crashing on take off.

That was not what Master Bates ordered! And with the purse strings pulled tight and the present team woefully inadequate - as the hammering by Forest demonstrated - it is hard to see the marriage of Leeds and Warnock lasting too long. Can two egos like Bates and Warnock share the same living space for too long before the verbal brickbats start flying?

Of course, it is the same old problem with Bates - he wants to run a football club along sound financial lines and that means shipping out your best players as soon as you get a decent offer for them, even when the sales generate very little cash in the big scheme of things.

How much did Leeds generate in transfer revenues at the end of the day? What did Gradel go for as an example? The fee was undisclosed but it wasn't megabucks and, although not Messi, he went on to score six goals in 24 starts for St Etienne, having finished the previous season as Leeds' Player of the Year. For Bates, the balance sheet looked healthier but given investment is crucial for growth, the short term gain was at a huge potential long term loss. Leeds missed out on the playoffs by 14 points - a massive final gulf it is true - but had Gradel and Howson been retained, and money been spent, the potential revenue from a season in the Prem would have far exceeded what Bates saved.

We shouldn't write Warnock off yet - he has a fantastic record in the Championship - but it may be that Leeds under Bates are destined for a long stint in the second tier of English football. We saw nothing over the final third of the season to suggest that they will challenge for promotion next season and if things are not going well by Christmas, it is hard to see anything other than an acrimonious divorce ahead. Unless Warnock is offered another job and walks out over the summer!

A Miserable Miserable Week for Birmingham City

After 62 games, it all came to a miserable, miserable end for Birmingham City this week. There's no taking away from the achievements of Chris Hughton and his charges - they acquitted themselves creditably in Europe and battled excellently in the league despite the financial cyclone that hit the club; and I was dreading meeting them in the Final because, despite all the exits, Hughton has put together a decent team. But all to no avail.

I make no bones about the fact that I loathe the club although I can't quite put my finger on exactly why. In part it was down to Trevor Francis. I never liked the guy as a player and once he became a manager and then a commentator, I detested him - because of his voice and the delight he always seemed to take in knocking West Ham. That said, I wish him a full recovery from his recent heart attack.

Then it was Trevor Hockey. He was an ugly player. Ugly style. Ugly beard. Ugly name. And he went on to play for Shafting United!

And Kenny Burns. He had one of those faces that you wanted somebody else to punch. And it irritated me no end that nobody could work out if he was a forward or centre back! Scottish, ugly, nasty in a challenge.

And Curbishley, who walked out on West Ham claiming Birmingham were a bigger club. Bigger club my arse.

And their kit. That ridiculous white band down the front of their shirts. For some reason it looked even worse in black and white on The Big Match.

And then there was The Big Match. I lived in Somerset and for some bloody reason, we got the Midlands version instead of the London version some weeks on HTV - and you could bet your life it happened on the weeks when West Ham were the main game. I would settle down looking forward to watching Brooking, Bonds and Paddon and instead Gerald Sinstad's voice would announce, "Welcome to St Andrews for the crucial game between Birmingham City and..." Cue a hasty change of channels and watching shadows through an interference / poor reception snow storm on Westward TV...providing they weren't showing Plymouth v Bristol Rovers!

But despite it all, I can't help feeling sorry for Birmingham. Not only have they missed out on a big day at Wembley, Villa have escaped relegation by the skin of their teeth! If we go up, I hope Hughton stays and completes the job next season by lifting the cub back into the Prem. Hughton seems a rare breed in football - a thoroughly decent guy - and because of him I have learnt to stomach Birmingham City to the point where, providing they are not rivals, I can wish them well!

QPR's Anton Hoping for Premiership Reunion with West Ham

Good to see that ex Hammer Anton will be cheering us on in the Playoff final, hoping to meet us in the Prem next season. In fact, according to the Official Site, Ferdinand is dreaming of a fantastic treble: QPR's survival, West Ham's promotion, and...John Terry losing the court battle?

Time for Liverpool to Award Dalglish a 5 Year Contract Extension

After the stunning last 20 minutes of the Cup Final when Liverpool were cheated by a pedantic rule that ALL of the ball must be over ALL of the line, and the epic thumping of Chelsea in the revenge match at Anfield, it is surely time for American owner John Henry to reward tactical mastermind Kenny Dalglish with a five year contract extension.

King Kenny has done a fantastic job this season, guiding Liverpool to a last gasp penalty shoot out victory over Welsh giants Cardiff City and to within an eighth of an inch of extra time in the FA Cup final too. On top of that, he has kept the club in the top half of the Prem - a marvellous achievement given he only had £135m to spend.

Based on the last 110 minutes of football against Chelsea, it is clear that Liverpool are now set fair to reclaim their place at the top table of both English and European football. Chelsea beat Barcelona with ten men, so just imagine what a force Liverpool will be in the Champions League the season after next after storming to the Premiership title next year.

King Kenny has brought glory back at Anfield at long last and dignity and respect are sure to follow.

Let's Nail This Playoff Specialists Nonsense

The usual crap is coming out about how Blackpool are playoff specialists and how all the pressure is on West Ham to win. For the Tangerine Dreamers anything more is a bonus it seems, whilst for West Ham it is make or break.

There is an element of truth in all that, of course, but we must not be suckered in. Already pretty level headed posters on here are talking up the dangers, warning about under rating Blackpool and pointing out that anything can happen in a one off game.

There's truth in that too of course. Anything could happen. At the Boleyn we won 4-0 with eleven men, whilst on our trip to the beach we won 4-1 with ten!

All we need to do is turn up, stay calm and play our football. Cardiff were cup specialists before we played them and Liverpool needed penalties to beat them. Did that matter?

Blackpool? Bring it on and cut out all the tangerine dreamer bollocks!

One Last Cruel Twist In QPR's Season?

For eighty odd minutes at the weekend, it was all going horribly wrong. Bolton were two goals to the good and QPR were only drawing. The nightmare scenario of having to win at Man City to stay up loomed large, with no guarantee of survival even if they achieved the seemingly impossible. Then Coyle's boys hit the self destruct button and 'Cisse, CISSE!' made yet another telling contribution: and he has scored or been sent off every time he has played for the Hoops.

So it all goes down to the final game and the nightmare scenario for QPR that only a positive result at the Etihad guarantees them survival whilst Unreal City need a win to secure the title. Of course, even if they lose, Rangers have a better than evens chance of staying up, because Bolton have to win and that's something they've not been very adept at all season!

But it isn't going to be straightforward is it? One way or another, there will be a twist. Perhaps Rangers will take the lead, or perhaps Bolton will snatch an early goal. If that happens, it could be a thrilling afternoon for the neutrals but an impossibly stressful afternoon for Rangers and Bolton fans. Happily for Rangers, Stoke need points to secure a higher league position, thereby trousering more dosh. In the old days, a B team might have been fielded but with big bucks at stake and four teams separated by a point (with Stoke bottom of that pile at the moment), Pulis will have his players pumped up. However, it's been a long, long, long season for Stoke and if Bolton go for it, maybe, just maybe, Crouch and co might let their thoughts wander to the beach.

89th minute, QPR losing three nil, Bolton still drawing at the Britannia, and suddenly Motson yells, "Davies. Davies! Oh Kevin Davies! He's done it! Would you believe it? There will be heartbreak in the Bush! Kevin Davies! Bolton have saved themselves in the final minute and their fans are jumping with joy not quite sure if they can believe what they have just witnessed!"

But that won't happen. Will it?

Hull City - A Shameful Way To Treat A Hero

He seems to have been around for ever and has been associated with Hull City, his hometown club, as player and manager since 2004. But Barmby's loyalty, dedication and professionalism counted for nothing when the Board got hot under the collar at suggestions that money was not forthcoming to strengthen the squad - they just sacked him.

What a disgrace. Hull came to Upton Park last game of the season with nothing to play for, except the manager and their fans, and they gave their all. Unlike Pearson who walked out on the club as soon as a better carrot was dangled, Barmby has remained loyal, stepping into the void left by the Leicester City returnee and aquitting himself well even though the not so fearsome Tigers narrowly missed the playoffs.

Barmby is sueing Hull and quite right too! If Curbishley could do us for constructive dismissal after walking out in dispute over transfer activities, Barmby must have a case.

Poor Nicky, he hasn't been shafted this badly since Mr Robson showed Mr Pardew what to do in the dressing room after the players have gone off to the pub!

Blackpool Dump Birmingham On Their Backsides - And Holloway's Mind Games Start!

So, the under bill threw up a thriller by all accounts. The Blackpool Kings Arms were cruising to Wembley before a great Birmingham fight back. 2-2 and Blackpool looking for another fairy tale victory in the playoffs.

Ollie has fired the first shot in the mind games, talking down Blackpool's chances and praising Allardyce's management skills. We should ignore him. Let him babble on like a drunk in the gutter outside a Blackpool lap dancing club as we step over him and go in to check out the talent.

8-1 with an outfield player in goal for 30 minutes. That's all we need to focus on. We tonked them at the Boleyn and ripped them apart on their dung heap. Let's not get caught up in all the hype. It's just another game and we are a far better team. Play to our strengths and we will prevail. Simples.

Was Noble REALLY the Man of the Match in the Cardiff game?

One of Noble's biggest critics on here has posted that the selection of Noble as MOTM for the home leg of the Cardiff game proves that there is favouritism shown towards him because he is a PR puppet. It was a typically over the top response, fuelled by an inability to admit to being in the wrong, in my opinion, but I must admit that Noble was not my automatic first pick for the honour.

But if not Noble, then who? Vaz Te certainly deserved consideration. He was lively throughout and his strike was fabulous, albeit Collison was in a better position had the mercurial Portugese played the ball back. Given the finish nobody could complain, but had he missed...

Tomkins and Reid were very good but what threat did Cardiff offer? They barely crossed the half way line!

Nolan had a goodish game but came off, and Noble was much more prominent in midfield. O'Neil too was lively and forced a brilliant save with that lovely shot from the edge of the box, but again Noble used the ball better and saw much more of it. Collison doesn't really come into the reckoning.

Taylor would have been a fair shout in my opinion - the corner we scored from was delicious - and he performed well in the left back role. Demel was as good, if not better, and his pass for the Vaz Te goal was superb.

Cole didn't cover himself in glory and Green had nothing to do so neither need trouble us here. It was a great finish from Maynard but he wasn't on the field long enough to qualify. Only Beckham gets MOTM for a fifteen minute stint!

So did Noble deserve MOTM? Maybe he did. The point is, he was again the hub of the team and his positioning, awareness and passing were a crucial factor in us controlling the game. Did he make a mistake? I can't think of one. I would love to see his Optima stats for completed passes and winning tackles - I bet he was close to perfect.

So why do the Noble knockers persist in attacking the guy? Simples, to quote Pulp Fiction, pride is fcuking with them . As each game goes by, so Noble looks better and better. It's time for his critics to show some humility, recognise his talents and celebrate that the Academy has produced another gem.

QPR Captain Barton Bound For The Boleyn

We have been linked with the guy on and off since the days of Curbishley. At one inglorious moment there were even rumours that we planned to unite Neill, Bowyer, Dyer, Bellamy and Barton at the club. The first rule of Fight Club? Nobody talks about Fight Club!

Well the marriage of Barton to West Ham edged closer on Monday with the one cap wonder sitting in the stands for the Cardiff game, checking out his future team mates. It's unclear this morning if the deal hinges on West Ham going up, QPR going down, or both, but Barton has no future at the Hoops after treading on the toes of Hughes and getting on the wrong side of the gRs, and with the Haye and Chisora fight confirmed at the Boleyn, Barton will fit in perfectly.

West Ham United, the Maddison Square Gardens of Football!

After the Lord Mayor's Show, it's Birmingham v Blackpool!

Talk about an underbill! After the the hammering of Cardiff yesterday, and with news that Haye and Chisora are about to go toe to toe, machete versus machete at Upton Park - who says Sullivan & Gold have no morals? - it's time for Birmingham and Blackpool to battle out the second leg playoff, looking for the right to steal a place in the Prem that neither team deserves.

I remember the days of the B Movies. I once saw "Cannibal Girls" screened ahead of a horror movie entitled Slithers. It was a shit film, but at least it featured naked lesbian cannibal girls which appealed to a 15 year old boy slipping into X movies. But Birmingham v Blackpool? I think I'll stay home and read a good book thanks very much!

Brooking and Brand - the Ultimate Odd Couple!

Wouldn't you just have loved to earwig the conversation between Sir Trev and Russell Brand yesterday? Whoever came up the idea of sitting them next to each other must have been doubled up in mirth at the prospect. Mr Establishment side by side with Mr Mayhem!

Cue Brand & Brooking!

Russell: Hare Krishna!
Brooking: I think you will find he is called Harry Redknapp actually.
Russell: The Swines!
Brooking: The panel had their reasons for preferring Roy Hodgson but I am not at liberty to disclose them.
Russell: T'is rhubarb!
Brooking: Rhubarb? It is most certainly not rhubarb if that is your euphemism for rubbish.
Russell: I've slept with your grand daughter!
Brooking: Would somebody please remove this person from my presence, he irritates me more than Redknapp!

But then again, I may have Trev all wrong, looking at the expression on Brand's face, Trev may be proposing a wife swapping evening!

Blackburn down, Bolton to follow - Time for Allardyce to cherry pick!

I bet Allardyce is chuckling to himself today following confirmation of Blackburn's relegation, with the probability that Bolton will join them. But more important even than Sam's ego is the opportunity for him to cherry pick the squads, linking up again with players he knows and trusts - should we progress to the Prem.

If Green is on his bike, I would be happy with Robinson and Jurri J as his replacements; in fact if Green isn't on his bike, I would fancy him as the understudy to either the Blackburn keeper or the Bolton Number 2! It must be odds on Kevin Davies will join us - and that will be met with mixed feelings! (And looking at the picture, if he offers THAT service to Allardyce, it's no wonder Sam likes him so much!)

I still like Petrov and think he would give us pace down the left (I know he wasn't there when Allardyce was in charge) and talking relegated players, I would welcome Jarvis from Wolves too, and maybe even Fletcher (although he has been relegated twice in a row which is never a good sign!).

Any other suggestions?

Careful, 5-0 is a dangerous score Cadiff!

Well that was easy wasn't it. Easier than Mn Utd found Swansea! And that must hurt if you are a Cardiff fan!

Everything went right for West Ham today, except Cole didn't score. Nolan was on the scoresheet with a typical tap in / nod in goal, Vaz Te scored a blinder and so did substitute Maynard. We hit the bar, the Cardiff keeper was their man of the match and each of the assists were superb: a brilliant whipped corner by Taylor, a deft through ball from Demel and a lovely slid pass by Lansbury.

At the back we were rock solid, so tight that McKnight could have been between the sticks and it wouldn't have mattered. Tomkins and Reid again looked like a superb combination and Demel and Taylor both raided down the flanks, giving us the width we were lacking earlier in the season.

In midfield, Noble, Collison, O'Neil and Nolan combined superbly, whilst Vaz Te terrified the Cardiff defence all afternoon. Cole was ok too. When he came on, Lansbury looked the part too and played in Maynard for his goal.

In truth, it could have been six: it was that easy and we were that good. Long ball football? Not much sign of it today. We had balance, we had width, we had pace in the shape of Vaz Te, we had imagination, we had guile, we were strong, composed, confident and utterly and completely in control. And Green didn't look like a man about to defect to Tottenham based on his celebrations when we scored.

So, all trains now lead to Wembley! And hopefully the Prem!

Same Team But Lansbury On The Bench

That's it then. Same team. Lansbury's there if needed. Unfortunately so is Faubert. Could this be the Frenchman's last laugh at our expense? Mon Dieu, c'est la vie!

Tottenham Chasing Green To Understudy Friedal & Gomes

He's free so there's no surprise that 'Arry wants him, but if Green opts to switch to Spurs it will show the guy is totally lacking in ambition. Why would anybody CHOOSE to be a reserve keeper and sit on the bench week after week?

Of course Friedal can't go on for ever, and Gomes may prefer to restart his career in pastures new, but there's no way that Redknapp would stick with Green as his first choice: he has major flaws in his technique and his temperament is decidedly suspect.

Green has a nice little number at West Ham. He is a guaranteed starter, no matter what, and he collects an above average wage. In those circumstances, he would be mad to swap West Ham for Spurs. Any of the top teams and he will be an understudy, any of the teams in mid table or below and he would have to take a wage drop.

If he is considering Spurs he should take not of what happened to Cuducini and might also note that even Parker was benched yesterday. Being idolised at the Boleyn is surely better than rotting in the stiffs at Spurs!

2-0 up at half time - we've blown it before Cardiff!

It aint over until Fat Sam sings. This afternoon should be a walk in the Upton Park but this is West Ham so anything could yet happen. Cardiff have been trying to convince us that a 2-0 lead going in to the second leg is a dangerous lead but it's no where near as dangerous as a two goal deficit, of course. In fact, with any other club you would say it is game over, start selling the tickets for Wembley...

The trouble is, we've all been there when West Ham have turned a winning position into a draw or a defeat. One of the earliest games I went to see (14th November 1970) saw us surrender a 3-1 lead against Wolves to end up drawing 3-3. Moore scored that day and knocked out the referee into the bargain, borrowing his whistle to stop the game so the official could receive treatment. Clyde Best grabbed two but a Bailey piledriver saw Wolves share the spoils.

I was at Upton Park too on April 2nd when we were leading 2-0 against Revie's Leeds with twelve minutes to go - then on came Eddie Gray to rip us apart. Final score 2-2. (Best and Bonds).

Roll forward to the 11th of December 1971 and I was on the terraces at the Dell to see us go in at half time three goals to the good (Best, Brooking and Bonds) only for Terry Paine to rip us apart second half - final score 3-3.

April the second again, this time in 2011: we lead Man Utd with two Noble penalties and Vidic should have seen red. Cue Rooney, swearing into the camera, and a final score of 2-4.

How about 8th of November 2003, three goals ahead inside 20 minutes (Deane 2 and Defoe) and then Judas is sent off. Final score 3-4 with Deane grabbing the match ball by scoring in his own net as well!

These are the stand out games for me but others will carry their own personal scars. The one reassuring thing is that Allardyce wasn't in charge in any of those games...but he was in charge when Blackpool blew a first leg two goal play off advantage to lose the second leg 3-0! But come on, lightning can't strike twice in the same place can it?

This is West Ham guys!

So it's time for calm heads. No red cards is the first priority. Let's get the ball and keep the ball. No sitting back, that would be fatal. Just control the game in exactly the same way as we controlled the game at Cardiff. The first goal could be crucial. If we score it, Welsh hearts will be broken; if they grab it, they will suddenly fancy their chances. Nothing should be taken for granted but we should go into the game brimming with confidence but playing as if the score is still 0-0.

Come On You Allardyce Irons!

Tottenham Revival Coincides With Parker's Absence

It may be pure coincidence of course, but it may not. Tottenham's revival has coincided with Parker's absence and with the younger and immeasurably more talented Sandro being given his head. 'Revival, what revival?' some may ask after today's draw at Villa, but Tottenham were down to ten men and Sandro did win the penalty that enabled 'Arry's men to salvage a point. Where was Scotty? On the bench.

This may be the beginning of the end for Parker. As much as his admirers laud his ability, it is an inescapable fact that Scotty has not scored a single goal all season and has assisted just once. I know his backers will trot out the holding midfielder role again, but Sandro was in the same role today and is a much more effective creator even when saddled with defensive duties.

I have always maintained that Parker is a very limited player, energy and commitment apart, and as loyal as 'Arry is to his favourites, it would be no surprise if Parker found himself a squad player next season.

Liverpool Lose Again - Dalglish and Gerrard Heading For Anfield Exit

So, in the final analysis, £135m has bought Liverpool a League Cup and a mid table position in the Premiership. That isn't just a poor return, it is a disaster.

Loyal acolytes of King Kenny will claim that the Reds were unlucky yesterday because of the second Carroll "goal" but that would miss the point entirely. It took Liverpool 60 minutes to turn up and it was only when Chelsea started to tire that Dalglish's assorted mercenaries came into their own.  Up until then the gulf in class was almost embarrassing. And remember, this is a Chelsea team in decline!

As a neutral, I was fascinated watching Lampard and Gerrard. The conventional wisdom is that Gerrard is the better of the two, but head to head, Lampard looked much the better player to me. Stevie G is like Scotty Parker in a West Ham shirt, with added goal scoring potential. His energy levels and commitment are undeniable but the whole team is secondary to Gerrard and his desire to be everywhere at once means that others simply piggy back in terms of effort. Liverpool fans will scream in protest, just as West Ham fans screamed when I said Parker was part of the problem, but jettisoning Gerrard may be a vital first step in moving forward. Clinging to the past is no way to progress, as the appointment of Dalglish proves.

From an England perspective, Carroll's performance was encouraging. His potential is undeniable and  as controversial figure as he is, the next Liverpool should be built around him rather than Gerrard. And as John Barnes says, Henderson must also be given his head now. There's talk of spending another chunk of John Henry's money but as Pardew has shown at Newcastle, spending huge sums is not necessarily the secret of success. Finding a team shape and a team spirit  are more important and, in recent years, Liverpool have been too preoccupied with punching big in the transfer market thinking that if they can outspend Man Utd, they will outperform them. No chance.

It's time to break with the past. For Liverpool to move forward, both Dalglish and Gerrard need to be shown the door. It will be painful, there will be tears at the parting of the ways, but as they say in the Financial Services sector, past performance is is not necessarily a guide to future performance.

Touching A Nerve With Brooking

Methinks he protests too much. Sir Trev has climbed off the fence in response to suggestions that he blocked Redknapp's anointment as England boss based on events at Upton Park 20 years ago. That's all nonsense according to the footballing knight and fence straddler: as if he would bear a grudge for 20 years!

But interestingly, he admits to the fact that he held a grudge at one point and concedes that he wasn't happy at the time and made his feelings known. Interestingly, he also says, "I’ve met Harry many times since then and it doesn’t even cross my mind. I never give it a thought." That's all very well, but Brooking stops short of saying that he and Redknapp are now mates or that they enjoy each other's company. They played in the same team, for pity's sake, but that phrase "I've met Harry many times" makes him sound like a foreign diplomat from another country.

And, of course, in many ways the two men are from different countries. Brooking is an officer and a gentleman, 'Arry a wheeler dealer chancer; Brooking is a bureaucratic diplomat, 'Arry loses his rag in front of television cameras when a journalist touches the wrong nerve; Brooking prepares plans and dossiers, 'Arry can't reed and rite proper like; Brooking is a knight of the realm, 'Arry only avoided a stretch at Her Majesty's Pleasure by the skin of his dog's teeth.

Brooking insists he wasn't responsible, but you can bet your life that he was in Hodgson's corner throughout, and certainly not in 'Arry's. It may not have been entirely down to the way Redknapp stabbed Bonds in the back, it may go back further than that, to chippy comments in the dressing room about the posh kid with 11 O Levels and 2 A Levels, or it may just be that oil and water don't mix. Whatever the reason, Brooking certainly did not back his former teammate and fellow Claret & Blue, and that is a huge vote of no confidence in itself isn't it? How could the rest of the panel run with 'Arry if a man who shared a dressing room with him wasn't advocating his appointment?

Sometimes sitting on the fence is a bold statement against the state of somebody else's garden!

Is Green now the weakest link?

Regulars to this blog will know that I am not Rob Green's biggest fan. Even when West Ham fans were hailing him England's Number One, I was saying that he was a very good shot stopper but an average all round keeper because of his weakness under crosses, his poor kicking, his failure to command his six yard box and his fragile temperament. Then along came the USA game to undermine the very good shot stopper argument and a season that confirmed him as England's 666.

It would go going too far to say that Green has cost us automatic promotion but his mistakes have proved costly. He should have done better with Cardiff's winner at Upton Park and that lost us a point and, most crucially of all, he was at fault for the Bristol City goal which lost us another two vital, vital points. There were other mistakes too, but he is human and all keepers, even the very best make mistakes.

The trouble is, Green makes them at the worst time and that's because of his suspect temperament. The USA game was the classic example. Green knew the eyes of the world were watching him so he made the howler to end all howlers. His fans will try to argue differently but the more the pressure mounts, the more vulnerable Green becomes.

And so, as we have got to the business end of the season, so Green's form has dipped. Argue his case as much as you like but it is a fact that Green has been at fault for the last two goals we have conceded. The Bristol City goal had echoes of the USA game, a long shot that should have been comfortably dealt with, whilst the attempt to punch to safety the Hull goal was frankly laughable.

Against Cardiff we were very comfortable but Green still made a hash of one punch, dropped a cross when unchallenged and was in no keeper's land when Cole cleared the ball off the line. Deliver a decent high ball to the edge of the six yard box and Green is all at sea, his feet rooted to the floor, a mist descending over his eyes. It is worrying, very worrying indeed, and if I was Woy I would say, "Sowwy Gweenie, no Euwos for you".

As Fareham Hammer writes: "With Green in goal,anything could happen, especially if Cardiff score early on.The man was awful and has been awful for some time now. He is a disaster waiting to happen as regards crosses. He's that bad with crosses ,he doesn't even bother to come for them anymore! Staying rooted to his goal line, leaving the opposition strikers a free header at goal. He's flapping so badly at crosses now, his punching of the ball has gone to pieces! I would drop him and play Henderson, which Allardyce won't do. The only possible way round it is to play Faye in Reid's place, a tad unfair as the lad's done well but Faye has the ability to cut out crosses, before the reach the danger zone. It's no coincidence that Green's form has been at its best when Faye's been in the team. As soon as Faye's out..trouble."

Of course, a centre half is there to cut out crosses so maybe Reid is at fault too if Fareham is right and we are stronger with Faye at the back, but no matter who is there, a keeper must do better than Green has done in the last three games. One poor game is a blip, three poor games in a row is a dip, and with the roller coaster ahead, the last thing we need is for our keeper to be a big dipper!

Blackpool 1 Birmingham 0 - Mediocrity Narrowly Defeats Mediocrity

So nothing to be too alarmed about there then. The return game should be a pretty intense affair with the potential for a red card or two with any luck. The perfect scenario would be for the second leg to go to penalties with the eventual winners, hopefully Blackpool, on their knees with exhaustion come the end of the game.

It's all going swimmingly so far - which is worrying given we never do anything the easy way at West Ham. Bit of a concern that Cardiff have a Gerrard on their books I suppose!

Happy Meal Time At West Ham

So tell me, why has Neil McDonald suddenly stepped out of Big Fat Sam's shadow? Have the powers that be decided it's time for a less belligerent approach to the press and fans, offering a more caring, sharing, humble face in the person of McDonald?

If I'm honest, I'm not even sure when McDonald joined. Did he come with Allardyce, with Sullivan & Gold thinking they were buying big gob a celebratory burger and finding they had a new employee instead?

Former Hammer James Collins in Club Brawl

Not terribly news worthy I know - Premiership footballer gets punchy outside club - but it may be good news for us. Collins has apparently been a brewer of trouble ever since he moved to Villa. There were reports that he and Dunne were stirring things in the dressing room when Houllier was in charge and they were obliged to apologise after a spa day went tits up, so this latest episode may be the final straw.

Personally, I would love Collins back at the club. If Villa decided to let him go, I would snap him up, be we in the Championship or the Prem. I'm impressed with Reid and Tomkins as a pairing and think they could hold their own in the Prem too, but Collins would be a very useful alternative to have. He should never have been sold in the first place - yet another Zola-Duxbury-Nani Axis gaff!

After Cardiff, the focus turns to Blackpool v Birmingham

I'm not presuming anything quite yet, but carrying a two goal lead into the home leg, it would be excessively cautious not to allow the thoughts to turn to potential opponents at Wembley. If we lose the play off semi final from here, it would be reasonable for Sam Pot to line the entire squad up against a wall and shoot them. Claret & Blue Year Zero, the Khmer & Blue.

So, IF we get there, who do we want? I was talking to a fellow Hammer last night - and yes, some still do talk to me - and he came up with the curious idea that we wanted Birmingham because we were overdue a victory against them. His thinking seemed to be, if you have a bogey, you should pick it. He also expressed fear of the Ollie factor, seemingly convinced that Worzel Holloway would put on his mangel worzel rather than his turnip head for a showdown at Wembley.

I'm not convinced. I belong to the horses for courses, current form brigade. This season we have failed to beat Birmingham twice, and last season they knocked us out of the League Cup, over two legs, and effectively relegated us when they came to the Boleyn and stole all three points with a one nil victory - courtesy of an absurd foul out on the touchline by Noble which gave Larssen the opportunity to whip in a cross and Zigic to score. Green's vulnerability under crosses in pressure games - so evident again last night - fills me with apprehension even when the opposition, like Cardiff, boasts midgets in their front line; and in the Land of Giants, Zigic would only count as a tad on the short side! The notion that we are "overdue a win" doesn't wash with me. The players carry scars mentally and Birmingham would arrive at Wembley with memories of recent glory. A game to be avoided in my opinion.

And the opposite holds for Blackpool. The aggregate over two games this season is 8-1 in our favour - even without a keeper! - and last season we beat them 3-1 over two legs. It is true that our four nil hammering at Blackpool in 1971 still hurts - because of the fall out from Bobby Moore taking team mates out on the piss on the eve of the game, but that was a loooonnnnngggg time ago and Allardyce would not allow any boozing the night before the game. His players will be in lock down, with armed guards on their doors! Ollie is a great guy, no question, but he is not Jose and, to be honest, he is the sort of manager who plays into Allardyce's hands with his "Go Out All Guns Blazing" approach. Allardyce just hides behind the corner and takes out gunslingers like that. Ask Wenger.

So I'm cheering on Blackpool tonight. I hope Birmingham choke on the stick of rock and are made to look like a load of donkeys. I'll happily kiss Holloway quick if he dumps out the second best team in the playoffs. A two or three nil victory to Blackpool tonight would really get me dreaming!

Carlton Cole v Cardiff: dozy or immense?

There are players in our ranks that stir up controversy amongst the fans. Noble is certainly one, with some believing the guy walks (albeit slowly) on water, whilst others insist he is more of a Brian than a Jesus Christ. And Carlton Cole is another, with last night's match bringing the strengths and weaknesses of Carlton very much into focus.

To my eyes last night, Cole looked laboured. There were moments of great skill - like when, late in the second half, he pulled the ball down on the edge of the Cardiff box and laid it off. But there were others when, given the opportunity to run at the Cardiff defence or chase a long ball knocked into space, he looked as if he was running across a field of treacle. The legs were moving but he just wasn't getting anywhere.

In the credit account, he forced a superb save from Marshall with an excellent header and cleared the ball off the line with Green stranded in no keeper land. On the minus side, that header apart - when there was no time to think - there seemed to be no hunger to score as Cole looked for others in the box rather than going for goal himself even though his confidence should have been high after scoring a brace on Saturday.

A Cardiff fan posted on here that Cole's was the best target man performance he had seen all season, which makes you stop and think, but I don't disagree with that, as I have always argued that Cole plays that role superbly. The trouble is, he used to look electric quick too, but last night that burst of speed wasn't there and, to my eyes, he looked very much at the fag end of a long season, a season through which he has carried a deep seated injury. My worry is that we have knackered the workhorse by asking him to carry too heavy a load for too long!

Liverpool's Record Breaking Season

What a season for Liverpool. West Brom's first win at Anfield for 45 years, Fulham's first ever double over the Reds, Wigan's first ever win at Liverpool, just five home victories in the league all season...still, £135million has bought Dalglish one piss pot already, courtesy of a penalty shoot out victory over the mighty Cardiff City, and on Saturday they could add another.

Of course, King Kenny thinks piss pots are seriously underrated. But tell me, what is the biggest game this weekend, Liverpool v Chelsea or Newcastle v Man City?

Who knows, come the end of the season Liverpool players could be demanding a transfer to the Barcodes because they want to play Champions League football.

Oh the irony!

Cardiff 0 West Ham 2 - Savaged by a dead sheep!

Years back Denis Healey compared an attack from Maggie Thatcher favourite Geoffrey Howe to being savaged by a dead sheep, and the first minute and a half apart, that pretty much sums up tonight's game. We were ok but we didn't need to be any better than ok, because Cardiff were absolutely bloody awful. They couldn't pass, they couldn't tackle, they couldn't shoot, and they could barely run. Winning the game was as easy as having sex with a drugged ewe as they say in the Valleys!

Tomkins was excellent. Reid was good. Noble was calmness personified. Vaz Te set up the first goal excellently and covered back surprisingly well. Taylor was fine. Collison scored twice, was caught offside four times and was generally ordinary. Demel was ok. Cole was dozy but very nearly scored at the end of the first half. O'Neil was neat and tidy. And Nolan missed a sitter but otherwise played his part. Only Green was poor but he had so little to do, that didn't really matter.

Collison took his first goal well, getting on the end of a superb Vaz Te pass and following up with determination when Marshall made a good save. And I think his second was heading for the top corner before the deflection took it in the opposite direction but into the goal regardless. Cole forced an excellent save from Marshall with a lovely header and Nolan headed wide inside the six yard box when it was easier to score.

The most impressive aspect of our game was the way we closed and harried and the way we retained possession. The Noble knockers should watch the tape back and note just how well he controlled the game. He was again available to receive the ball all over the pitch and took the sting out of the contest with calm, sensible, mature passing to team mates. Where Parker was all hustle and bustle in the role, invariably losing possession and throwing himself into a challenge to make amends, Noble simply keeps the ball. He and Tomkins were again the stand out players for me.

So, half time it is so far so good. It is hard to imagine Cardiff can play that badly in the second leg but if we can't progress from this platform then we really must be crap - and we're not! Credit to Allardyce, the tactics were spot on and our football was not hoof ball by any stretch of the imagination. All in all, it was a professional, calm and slick performance, typified by our superb ball retention during the added five minutes. Cardiff weren't allowed a sniff!

Player ratings: Green 3 (Good save in the first minute but made a cash of one punch, dropped an easy catch and was rooted in no man's land when Cole cleared off the line); Demel 6, Tomkins 9, Reid 7, Taylor 6; Noble 8, O'Neil 7, Vaz Te 6, Collison 6, Nolan 6; Cole 6 Subs McCartney 6, Faubert 5, Maynard (Not on long enough to rate)

West Ham v Cardiff - Swarbrick a threat!

Oh dear. Referee Swarbrick has officiated one West Ham game all season and we lost it 3-0 to Reading, collecting two red cards in the process. And I bet the bastard in the black issued me my parking ticket into the bargain!

Hodgson Not Banking On England

Well he has elbowed 'Arry to one side to claim the job of England manager but it seems that replacing Mervyn King when he retires in June is beyond even Woy. Any outside hopes Hughton had of claiming the Governor of the Bank of England job were destwoyed when King committed the Bank to a three Rs policy of  “wegulation, wesolution and westructuring”.

The Sun would make Hodgson look like a proper tit!

Strange Sense of Unreality As Cardiff Game Approaches

Is it just me, or is there something missing at the moment? Today sees our biggest game since...well since that victory at Old Trafford that kept us up or that home victory over Wigan that all but did so...but my guts haven't started churning yet for some reason. It's as if I am in a bubble, somehow protected from all the stress and anxiety.

On the way into work today I witnessed a motor cyclist killed in a collision with a lorry, and perhaps that has put things into perspective. Think about the chances graph that brought the motor cycle and the lorry together at the exact same point in the road at exactly the same time this morning. Had either driver started his journey a second or two earlier or a second or two later, the accident would not have happened. Perhaps one of them couldn't find his keys this morning causing a seemingly irrelevant delay which actually made the collision inevitable. Fate is so fickle, life is so fragile, planning carries no guarantees.

The entire season now comes down to 180 minutes of football and our happiness and misery hang, stupidly, on the outcome. At the end of the day, what does it really matter? Bolton lost 4-1 last night and slipped closer to relegation, but Fabrice Muamba is alive and smiling. What is more important when all is said and done?

I have signed a truce with regard to Allardyce and I've found it has left me with very little to say. We know how we will set up - 4-5-1 - and after our performance at Leicester nobody can gripe about that. We pretty much know the team too. Maybe Collison, maybe Lansbury is what it boils down to doesn't it? We know the threat - Whittingham and we know how important it is not to concede free kicks in our final third. But the two drivers this morning knew the dangers of colliding and that didn't stop it happening.

Jack Collison would, of course, understand what I am driving at if he read this article. There are bigger things in life. It's a game of football played over two legs, and may the better team win given we finished above Cardiff in the table. It will be intense but it's in our interests to take the temperature down a notch or two. Let's not reduce the game to blood and thunder, if class outs, Whittingham apart, we should progress without too many difficulties. Let's get behind the boys, let's get behind Allardyce and let's keep in mind that accident this morning...if it all goes wrong, at least it isn't the end of the world!

Watch Out, The Speech Impediment Police Are About!

Widiculous. The FA has written to The Sun to complain about their fwont page announcing the appointment of Woy. What a lot of wot. The guy has a speech impediment. He's had a speech impediment all his life, and being the cwuel bitch that she is, Fate was given him a name he can't pwonounce, just like Jonathon Woss. It's a bit of a bummer I'm sure, but unlike his defeated wival for the England job, at least he can wead and wite.

Once again, the PC bwigade are twying to take over our lives. Perhaps the misewable sods over at the FA should check out their back collection of Only Fools & Horses. Anybody wemember when Waquel sang a duet with a guy with the self same speech impediment as Woy? Let's hope that come the end of the Euwos we are not all singing Cwying too!

FA Cup Final? Who Cares Outside of Liverpool?

It's frightening but I've only just realised that it is the FA Cup Final on Saturday. What a joke! Why the Hell is the Premiership season extending beyond what used to be the showpiece of English football? Has the greatest domestic cup competition in the world been relegated behind the play off finals in terms of importance? If so, that is a total disgrace.

Liverpool v Chelsea - we should all be holding our breath in anticipation. North v South. The Reds v The Blues. The Gnarled Old Scot v The Dapper Young Italian. The Uruguayan Racist v The East London Racist. Carroll and Suarez v Torres.

It has all the ingrediants of a classic. Back in the Seventies nobody would have been talking about anything else all week. But absurdly, what should be the climax to the season has been squeezed in between Man City v Man Utd and Newcastle v Man City. It is a side show bordering on an irrelevance. Sure Dalglish might win another piss pot but who cares? Chelsea have much bigger fish to fry - with finishing fourth in the Prem more important than winning a trophy that used to mean everything, never mind the little matter of the Champions League final itself.

Poor Liverpool. Ferguson relegated them behind Man City this week and if they win the FA Cup, football fans up and down the land will barely notice. It's wrong, so wrong, that such a noble competition has been reduced to this!

Former Birmingham Manager McLeish Rules Himself Out Of West Brom Job

It seems that McLeish doesn't want to be considered for the West Brom job - yet. He has to relegate Villa first!

West Brom Offer Welcome Distraction For Birmingham's Hughton

Interesting to see that Chris Hughton is being linked with the West Brom job. He was interviewed when Di Matteo was sacked (and how bad does that decision look at the moment?) and despite his protests that he is focused on getting Birmingham up, his comments were open to misinterpretation. The proper response should have been, "What a load of nonsense. Why would I be interested in that job? Birmingham are a bigger team than West Brom and will be in the Premiership next season anyway."

But he didn't say that. He said:  "I'm on a contract at this football club and it's only speculation - non-facts that are brought to my attention. It's always very difficult to talk about things that are hypothetical and things that are very non-fact. I have a contract at this football club, we are in a good place at this particular moment because the focus is on these play-off games. It's very difficult to speak about anything that's not fact. At this moment, [the play-offs] are taking 100 per cent of my focus."

If I was a Birmingham fan, I would be very worried about the repetition of "At this moment". Well, until a moment at some point yesterday, Hodgson was West Brom's manager wasn't he? And until he was appointed, it was a non fact and speculation that he was taking the England job. As denials of interest go, it is hardly ringing!

The speculation and non facts are sure to be unsettling. This is perfect news from Blackpool's point of view and, given we don't want Birmingham in the final, if we get there, great news for West Ham!

Come on you poaching Baggies!