Well Said Zola. Tottenham v West Ham Preview.

Really pleased to read Zola's comments on our treatment of ex players. Nice Guy Zola told the Disney channel,

"Obviously, I will always have a special place in my heart for Chelsea. The reception I had from the fans at Stamford Bridge when I went back as West Ham manager last season was amazing and it would be good if others supporters could look at that and realise booing old players is not so productive."

He continued,

"Maybe the West Ham fans will continue to boo Frank Lampard as they tend to do, but I think it is time to stop all of this. If someone takes a different career path, you have to accept it and I hope everyone does this with Frank and me from now on."

Of course, there is little prospect that the fans will relent on the campaign of hatred directed at The Foe. Mind you, thus far, friendlies apart, it has been pretty successful with the little Judas missing two penalties against us since his defection.

On the whole, however, these "hate campaigns" are counter productive. Look at how Tevez responded to our warm hugs the first time he returned to Upton Park with Manchester United. The crossed hammers signs brought tears to every eye in the house, including the Argentinian's, and he played as if he had blurred vision all game. Contrast that with Lamps who revels in the abuse and scores for fun against us.

Defoe has already been talking about how he is going to shove our abuse down our throats. Perhaps we should destabilise him by greeting him with a Jermaine Defoe Love Fest? Pictures of Jesus hugging Judas perhaps? We love you Jermaine banners all around the ground? Welcome home Jermaine signs? "Tie a Yellow Ribbon" playing as he runs out on the pitch? It's a thought.

West Ham v Tottenham Preview. Spector v Lennon? Ouch.

Watching the Tottenham v Liverpool game last week, the subject of whether 'Arry would swap Lennon's flank to have a go at Faubert came up. I expressed the hope that he would try, given Lennon's left peg is weak and he becomes largely ineffective when moved to the opposite flank, but now everything has fallen into 'Arry's lap with the news that Ilunga will miss the game.

With all the talk of the need for a right back and a striker or two, many have overlooked the absence of adequate cover for Ilunga, a squad deficiency masked by his fitness all last season. Spector came on against Wolves and his first three touches were dire. He isn't even our first choice right back and, playing on the opposite flank, he looks awkward on the ball and vulnerable off of it. 'Arry must be sniggering over his Manila envelopes at the thought of isolating our American one on one with the flying Lennon. It would be no surprise to me if the game was won and lost as a result of the injury to Ilunga.

Some will point to the signing of Daprela but he is just a kid and has not yet been tested in the Premiership. Would it be fair to throw the lad into a game of this magnitude? I think even the Romans allowed the Christians to practice a bit before they threw them into the gladiatorial ring!

Sunday is going to be one hell of a test. I have tipped Tottenham as dark horses to win the Premiership and it is a crying shame that we go into the game still looking for two strikers, with a make shift right back playing as first pick and with no adequate cover for the left back position. Why did we buy Kovac in the circumstances?

Collins or Upson?

Anybody else been unsettled by the decision of Villa to bid for Collins rather than Upson? It is one thing for Stoke City to fancy Collins, quite another for Martin O'Neill to want him. When it was Stoke, there was a feeling that Upson was beyond their means so Collins was a next best choice. Villa, however, are not financially strapped and were rumoured to be after Upson. It would appear from the latest rumours, however, that O'Neill has weighed up the options and prefers the younger Collins at a lower price to the older Upson at a higher figure. And O'Neill is no mug as a rule.

Either way, Clarke is going to lose a key figure in his back four. Whether or not Collins is the first choice partner for Upson is a matter of some debate - Tomkins may be the main man - but he was a key figure in the Great Escape and has acquitted himself well since returning to the team. The most depressing thing about all this is that we have to sell to be able to bid £7m for a striker that we so desperately need.

West Ham Fans Are Such A Bunch Of Depressives

Dear God, as we POSSIBLY close in on signing Chamakh, there are already some "fans" criticising the move. He only scores one goal in every three games in France, he isn't as quick as Harewood, we will lose him to the African Nation's Cup, he's temperamental and inconsistent...blah, blah, blah. Those of you with reasonable memories might recall the "experts" questioning the wisdom of signing that inconsistent, temperamental, over priced, unproven African called Didier Drogba. That didn't turn out too badly for Chelsea did it? Then there was that guy who couldn't score for Juve. What was he called? Thierry Henry wasn't it?

How good was Cole before Zola got to work on him and how good is he now? Let's hope GZ can improve Chamakh in the same way - if he joins! There are some still harking on about Freddie "fox in the box" Sears, claiming he is a better option because he is small! How many goals did that fox plunder last season? Erm, none.

For pity's sake you miserable, negative sods, get behind the manager and the club can't you?

Lucas Neill Latest

Silly me, I was wondering where Lucash was and why he hasn't signed for any of the interested parties. The answer is obvious! He is watching the Ashes!

The game was in the balance until Swann was out in the last over. The Aussies have now got the advantage and could well drive home that advantage tomorrow. If they accumulate 500 plus when they bat, the fact that the ball is going through the top could return to bite us. Well played Katich to run out Trott but I had noted earlier that he was taking risks leaving his crease "on the walk" and that he was a bit lackadaisical about getting back into his ground. So whilst brilliant from Katich, it was careless by the South African.

Bell will top score but was never comfortable; Collingwood's shot was poor; Strauss's dismissal was disappointing; Flintoff's lazy shot looked as if he had retired already! The Aussies have bowled decently but there has been nothing special from them with the ball. The truth is, we are a team of mediocre players being beaten by a team of goodish players. If only we still had Vauhan and Trescothick available and at the top of their games. The loss of Pietersen was massive.

All is not lost yet but, in footballing terms, we are a goal behind at White Hart Lane after 20 minutes. It will take something special to win from here.

Lucash Neill Buried Alive

Anybody know what is happening with Lucash? Sunderland, West Ham, Greece? Has the guy gone missing altogether? Is there a bush kangaroo outside Upton Park twitching its nose frantically, making chattering noises trying to tell us something?

"What's that Skippy? Trouble somewhere? Lucas accidentally opened his wallet and is trapped underneath an avalanche of cash? Crikey Skippy, where is he? Come on Dean, Lucas is in trouble. What's that mate, can't walk? Ok, rest up son and leave this job to me, the kid and the roo."

Duxbury's Diary Reveals All.

Dear Diary,

I have just dropped an email through to Alistair Campbell asking him to script my next press statement. Things are beginning to get a little tricky the closer we get to the end of the transfer window, what with the pressure from the Board to sell and the demands of the fans that we buy. It is all so unfair.

I really don't understand these footballers, they are such an ungrateful bunch. Take Luis Boa-Morte and James Collins. I agree huge big salary packages with them but are they grateful? Are they as hell as like! I ask them to take a pay cut and move to Hull and Stoke respectively and what do they go and do? Only say no! Where's the loyalty I want to know! Who gave them these huge pay deals in the first place? The least they could do is help me out by agreeing to sod off when I want them to. I mean, the fact that no other clubs are willing to match our pay deals simply illustrates that we have been over paying them all this time doesn't it? A COE could lose his job by paying all his employees more than is necessary - I have gone out on a limb for these guys and where is the thanks?

Then there is Dean Ashton. How long can I keep saying that Zola is looking forward to working with the guy? Alistair says that he carried Blair through two full terms but we have now carried Beano (as one blogger calls him) for two whole seasons. Bloody Stoke City are so unreasonable! They said they wanted him but then made any purchase conditional on a fitness test. What's that all about? We didn't worry about fitness tests when we bought him from Norwich did we? He arrived wrapped in more bandages than an Egyptian Mummy and has run around about as much since he joined us! Fitness tests? We wouldn't have signed Upson, Bellamy, Dyer, Ashton or Freddie Ljungberg if we had worried about fitness tests would we?

Then there is this forward business. Zola has got one, why does he want any more I want to know? We've signed that kid Nouble and he can't be any worse than Tristan or Di Michele were so what is all the fuss about? I'm still seething with Nani over the Savio business. Stupid bloody Italian accent! I thought he was saying "Save money" not "Savio money". I thought it was a bloody bank deposit, not a purchase! And what do we do with the boy now? We already have Stanislas and Collison for that position. Can Savio play right back or lead the line? Not according to Zola and Clarke. Why? The lad is a footballer isn't he? You don't get tennis players arguing about positions do you? Look how many positions I've filled at West Ham! Stick him up front and have done with it I say! So what if he doesn't score. How many did Di Michele score? How many does Cole score for that matter. Goals are incredibly over rated in football if you ask me.

But no, they want another forward or two so I have to fly all over Europe and stay in 5 star hotels at huge cost to the club - and for what? I offer two million less for that Moroccan guy than Arsenal offered and bloody Bordeaux say no! What's that about then? Don't they understand our money is worth more than Arsenal's money? Bloody nerve! Then there's the usual business about players not being prepared to take a drop in salary. Have they no ambition? Can't Eider understand that playing for West Ham is a much bigger deal than playing for Barcelona? And as for Luca Toni - he is meant to be a mate of Zola's! Some mate. We give him the chance to exchange Bayern Munich and Champions League football for the EPL and West Ham and the guy turns us down! Outrageous.

I am now getting worried about who I can claim we are after next. Eventually, we will be down to players who we could actually sign. Then we are buggered because we would have to come up with some cash! Alistair says that we should come up with a stealth tax to finance a purchase but I'm not sure how you do that at a football club.

It is all so much hassle. What's the big deal? We never win anything anyway so why all this fuss I want to know? Anyway, must go as Clarke is hammering on the door shouting something about "Not coming here from Chelsea to coach a team without a forward line." He's a Scot, he should appreciate not spending money!

Still, the fans will still love me when I tell them we are not selling Matty Upson...to Tottenham

Scott.

PS Sod it! Bordeaux may be willing to do business! Upson anybody? Anybody want Upson? Where's bloody 'Arry when you need him? Pull up lame Ledley! Help me Alistair!

West Ham Fail In Bids For Torres & Rooney

West Ham Chief Executive Scott Duxbury today voiced his frustration at the continual failure to sign a striker following the rejection of bids for Fernando Torres and Wayne Rooney. Duxbury, explaining why an offer from either Aston Villa or Manchester City for captain Matthew Upson might be accepted, said, "We are endeavouring to bring in a top class striker or two and these players do not come cheap. Obviously, if selling Matthew would facilitate the signing of a player like Rooney or Torres, it is something we would have to consider."

He continued: "We were in contact with Manchester United and Liverpool earlier today and were hopeful that a deal might be done. We considered the "Play now, pay later" deal we offered to be very competitive, especially with an agreement to pay 100% of any profit on a future sale, but for reasons I am unable to fathom at this stage, both clubs refused to entertain our offers."

"Our search goes on", Duxbury reassured fans. "Carlos Tevez is a possibility and we are looking at Ronaldo - not the fat Brazilian but the Real deal. We will probably make an offer before the window closes but whether or not it will be accepted is impossible to say at this stage. We will also follow up any bid made by Arsenal for a striker (and subsequently rejected) with a bid of our own, set at £2m below the Arsenal offer. We have high hopes that this strategy could yet prove successful."

He refuted suggestions that this was all a smoke screen to mask the fire sale that may be about to begin with the departure of Upson. "That is total rubbish," he said. "I can assure fans that Technical Director Nani and myself are working tirelessly to bring in players for the positions identified by the coach, Gianfranco Zola. Meanwhile, I can categorically reassure West Ham fans that Upson will not be sold... to Tottenham."

Where does this leave Collins? Will Upson now go?

The decision of James Collins not to join Stoke puts the guy in a strange no man's land. It would appear from what Duxbury has said that Zola decides who is sold, so the acceptance of the Stoke bid would suggest that Ginge does not figure in the manager's plans. I have every sympathy with Collins - like Boa before him, he knows what his present wages are and wants them matched at the very least. Why would anybody trade the high life in London for a lower wage amongst the dark satanic mills? Would you? And, having seen Kitson looking like a Vesta Curry in Stoke's away kit, would you move to them if you were a ginge?

However, Nice Guy Zola has already proved himself to be something of a Reservoir Dog when a player upsets him. Callum Davenport hasn't had a sniff of first team action at Upton Park after ruffling the manager's feathers and if the Chamkh deal collapses because of Ginge's "selfishness", then he is not going to be flavour of the month at Upton Park is he? Does his refusal to go now increase the chances of Upson moving? I think so.

Collins can, however, take heart from his popularity amongst the fans. Most, who expressed a preference, said they wanted him to stay.

Sods Law, of course, states that Ginge will now pull up lame in training and will be ruled out for the next 4 months. In fact there must now be a case for renaming the Law West Ham's Law!

Collins Throws A Spanner In The Works

The best laid plans of mice and men and all that! Is it really any surprise that Stoke City cannot match the pay deals tarted around by Turds, Egg and Duxbury? This trio turned the club into the footballing equivalent of a millionaire's brothel and now we cannot offload our over priced tarts. Quashie, Davenport, Faubert, Neill, Collins - yes they can do a job but why would you pay Damien Hirsh his going rate to emulsion your lounge in B&Q Value Magnolia?

The absolute madness of the Turds, Duxbury and Egg interregnum is now coming home to roost. Two of the three have rightly lost their jobs. Why is Duxbury still there I wonder? Media management perhaps?

Arsenal show that Celtic and SPL are second rate.

I know the goals were freakish but the onus was on Celtic to outplay Arsenal tonight and, to be frank, they were never at the races. That's no surprise to me because I have stated on here that West Ham would be title contenders in Scotland but our tartan friends have disputed that. Well. after tonight, I think Burnley would be "up there" if playing in the SPL.

Just look at the Celtic team! Samaras? Really? I remember him at Man City. Crap as a description would do a disservice to the word crap! As for the rest, who are they?

Watching the game, I was reminded of an FA Cup tie between a Premiership team and a side in the third tier of English football. Lots of passion and effort from the Hoops but not a lot else. You just knew that, one way or another, Arsenal would run out comfortable winners. Caldwell's intervention just added a Keystone Kops dimension to affairs.

Celtic and Rangers in the Prem? Hull City would say "Bring them on" as there would only be one relegation place up for grabs then! Stick to your stonners lads, you are not in the same league as us - for a VERY GOOD REASON!

Dicks Takes A Nine Iron To Neill's Head!

All credit to the Metro here. I loved this interview with Julian Dicks about Lucas Neill so much that I have lifted it for readers of this blog. Dicks rants:

"Lucas Neill looks like he will re-sign for West Ham after seemingly ending his stay at the club in a row over money. Is it me, or am I missing something here? He's 31. Hardly in his prime but he does a job at right back."

"He gives the team a bit of steel. He's an uncompromising figure and knows the Premier League very well. But he's 31! I am told he was offered a two or three-year deal with the Hammers on about £40,000 a week.

''The word is that he was on £75,000 a week and was obviously unhappy at the reduced wages. But, come on, £40,000 a week! It's time he showed the club a little loyalty. I can understand that every player must look out for himself financially and I know only too well that a career can be a short one but £40,000 a week for the next couple of years ain't bad, is it?"

"I used to earn £650 a week and thought I was rich! Mr Neill needs to get a reality check. As I have said, he is 31 not 35. Presumably he has come round to the idea as I am told he will re-sign and he is a solid right-back and will do a job for us. And we certainly need players who can do their jobs if we are to better the ninth spot in the league last season."

The best bit of the Metro article is the headline, "West Ham legend Dicks hits out at Lucas Neill"; now that is one fight I would pay to see, especially if Neill leaves and Dicksy brings his golf clubs!

Collins out and Chamakh in!

Sounds like a good deal to me! I have no idea how good this guy is but in pictures he looks remarkably like Ronaldo. Of course, if he is bought for £7m and turns out to be crap, his name will go instantly into East End slang as a replacement for chump or a much stronger insult! "You complete Chamakh!"

As ever at West Ham, we solve one problem and create another. If Collins goes, Davenport departs, Neill fails to return, Gabbidon breaks down again and Upson joins the Unreal City gravy train, we are suddenly short of central defenders. Our top half finish was based on a very solid defence last season and as promising as N'Gala may be, I don't want to see him paired with Tomkins in the Prem quite yet!

However, if Chamakh is a West Ham player by the end of today, I will be a happy Hammer. I may even relent on my anti Duxbury campaign and eat some humble pie. Not much though because I am on a diet after all those burgers in the States!

Tottenham's 'Arry Tells Cameras That Palacios Doesn't Drink

On being given the champagne for Palacios's MOTM performance against Liverpool, 'Arry was quick to say that "the lad" doesn't drink. Never mind, with Bentley and King in the dressing room, I am sure there were plenty ready to down the bubbly before driving home or popping off to a nightclub!

Spot The Duxbury Get Out Clause

Great news on the Official Site, providing you ignore the usual Scotty Get Out Clause!

"In a statement on the club's official website, Duxbury said: "The club's position remains the same as it was last week or as it was in January: there is no question of Straumur forcing us to sell anyone - in fact we are actively looking for new players.

"The papers are unsurprisingly full of speculation at this time of year, but the situation is clear - the only way a player would be allowed to leave is if Gianfranco thinks it is in the best interests of the squad as a whole and it is right for the club."

Did you spot it Sherlock?

All Over For Boa

It looks as if Luis may have played his last game for the club, with his contract expiring at the end of this season and his injury likely to keep him out until the summer. I am not going to be hypocritical here and pretend I am deeply upset by this news. The brutal fact is that Boa was never good enough to play for West Ham. Yes he was full of endeavour but that, I am afraid, does not compensate for a slow brain, blinkered eyesight and clumsy feet. I have never booed the guy and never would, but I have never rated him either. His record for the club is frankly appalling.

The big question I would like answered is whether his wages will now be paid by an insurance scheme. It was bad enough paying the guy to perform, at best, indifferently; the idea of shelling out £55k a week for him to share a treatment room with Beano is too sickening to contemplate. Knowing Boa, he will trip over, fall into Beano and set back Primadeano's recovery a further six months!

Still, as crap as he is, you have to admire the guy's optimism. I loved the comment, "I had many hopes this season, including the World Cup," he continued. "But this injury has made things very difficult for Carlos Queiroz to call me up for the final squad if we qualify." In truth Luis, not playing is probably your best hope of getting a late call up!

How To Finance £20m of Purchases WITHOUT Selling Anybody.

It is crystal clear that we need at least one quality striker and probably two. It is also clear that the club's finances are in a state of disarray. I truly believe that the door is open this year for a top 4 finish with the right signings but equally fear that the club could struggle if Upson and Parker are sold and no significant reinforcements are secured before the transfer window closes. I have a simple idea for squaring the circle.

Working on the basis of a fan base of 40,000 salaried adults, I propose a bond scheme with an entry level of £250 and no ceiling, with funds generated used to buy players with significant resale potential. Under the terms of the scheme, the players would belong to the club but, when sold, the resale value would be returned entirely to the bond holders. This would give the fans an opportunity to INVEST in the club and put their money where their mouths are. If 40,000 committed just £500 each to the scheme, £20,000,000 would be generated overnight. This money would not be a gift but a genuine investment in the crazy transfer market that currently operates providing it is invested wisely.

I keep hearing, "In Zola, Nani and Clarke we trust", well lets test the truth of that statement. I have a grand to invest. Had it been invested in the purchase of Bellyache, I would have shown a 42% return over two and a bit years whilst helping the club I love at the same time. Had it been invested in Behrami, assuming a full recovery, I would anticipate a 400% return should he be sold in the next three or four years. The risk to the club would be zero as the bondholders would have no rights to enforce any sale - even if some suddenly fancied us becoming a selling club to generate a quick return on their money. That, I believe, should get around any "Third Party Ownership" issues. However, each player signed under the scheme would have a "Release Fee" which, if matched, would trigger a sale, so preventing the club from rejecting silly offers. In the case of Behrami, for example, I would have set that figure at £12m when we signed him.

Details would need to be fine tuned. For example, to make the package attractive to investors, I would set a maximum age of 26 on any player signed under the bond scheme. Meanwhile, for each year that the club retains the player, 20% would be paid back to the bond scheme, with this money claimed back by the club in the event of a profitable sale.

It has to be worth a go doesn't it?

If Chelsea falter, this year's Prem is wide open. Liverpool, Arsenal and Man U are weaker. Man City or Tottenham could win it!

I was struck today by how shallow Liverpool's current squad is. Hoddle rightly pointed out how much stronger the Tottenham bench was than Liverpool's and, Gerrard, Reina and Torres apart, the Tottenham team on the pitch was stronger than Liverpool's too. Until Gerrard dropped deeper, there was nobody in the Liverpool midfield to supply Torres and you have to wonder how the Scousers will cope should Gerrard and Torres pick up long term injuries. These two great players apart, the team is ordinary. Alonso is a huge loss and the failure to replace him will mean that Liverpool will struggle to finish in the top 4, never mind sustain a challenge for the title. Add in Benitez's perverse selection policy - how on earth did he prefer Babel over Yossi - and I see big problems ahead.

Arsenal looked awesome against Everton but they played against a team in disarray because of Lescott. Everton's defending was woeful and the way that Fabregas was allowed to stroll unchallenged from box to box before scoring said everything about how the Toffees had failed to show up on the day. Gooners will be cock a hoop at the moment but we all know the Blackburns and Boltons will bully them off their stride. Very pretty to watch but pretty play is not enough to win the Prem.

Man United's midfield, meanwhile, is not up to winning the title. The failure to buy a goalscoring midfielder is very strange. Ronaldo's goals will be sorely missed and both Giggs and Scholes have now gone over the top. It seems to me that Ferguson has allowed loyalty to get the better of him, sticking with two old favourites for too long. Anderson, Valencia, Carrick, Fletcher, Nani and Park are good players but none of them are great are they? Instead of a midfield that frightened the opposition, United now have a midfield that is high on endeavor but low on the wow factor. 1-0 v Birmingham says it all. A well organised team will be able to frustrate this United team. Take out Rooney and who is there to frighten you?

Chelsea, on paper, are the strongest of the big 4 but we have yet to see how the dressing room will take to the new manager. We know now what happens if Terry and his cronies don't fancy the boss.

This could be the most open Premiership for decades. Unreal City may actually be in the running and so might Tottenham.

West Ham Sold Down The River

Let me take you back to June 8, 2009 when I blogged the following:

"Ok, now the positive spin is that we have been sold to Straumur. But that, I'm afraid, is straight out of the "New Labour Book Of Lies, Correction Spin"! What has, in fact, happened, is that Straumur have taken control of West Ham in the same way as a bank takes ownership of your house if you default on your mortgage.

All very well you might say, until you appreciate that Straumur are themselves a bankrupt bank, operating from the base of a bankrupt nation which, itself, is clinging on to the coat-tails of a bankrupt World economy. Somewhere in that great sea of debt, the Not So Good Ship West Ham is bobbing around in the midst of a perfect storm. Remember that scene from the film when they all smile, thinking the worst is over - then comes the wall of water?

What worries me most is that term "Asset Management Group". Now, what do "Asset Management Groups" specialise in? Asset stripping. Show me an Asset Management Group that cares for anything other than realising the greatest possible profit in the shortest possible time and I will show you a pot in Newcastle's trophy cabinet! From now on, the West Ham project is going to be about maximising the return on selling the club. And the problem with that? If more money can be made by closing down "the brand", then the "brand" will cease to exist.

So if anybody sees a helicopter flying over Upton Park in the next few weeks, blow it out of the sky; because it might just be Barratt assessing the value of the land for future residential development.

Faustus sold his soul for an extension of his youth. The pact we signed for our tilt at Champions League qualification may yet carry the heaviest price of all. And we were worried about Tevez!"

At the time, of course, I was subjected to the usual knee jerk vitriol but recent news stories are suggesting that I may have hit the nail squarely on the head. I hope to God that I was wrong but with Upson talking about the financial mess we are in and about the possibility of leaving and Zola quoted as saying he "hopes" to keep hold of the present captain, these are very worrying times. I hope the Mirror story is journalistic bullshit and take comfort from the absence of names in the report but my money would be on Upson being either an Unreal City or Everton player by the end of August, with Parker wearing the claret and blue of Villa. Bankers are bastards but Asset Management Groups are bigger bastards still.

10 Talking Points from Everton, Arsenal, Man City, Villa, Wigan, Portsmouth, Burnley, Chelsea and MOTD

1. Julian Lescott said ahead of the game with Arsenal that his "head wasn't right for the match". I'VE GOT A TIP FOR YOU JULIAN, LOOK IN THE MIRROR MATE, YOUR HEAD ISN'T RIGHT FULL STOP. UNLESS YOU ARE BIDDING TO REPLACE KRYTEN IN RED DWARF!

2. Rumours of Arsenal's demise are a trifle premature.

3. Every England fan should hope that Arsenal's performance today was down more to Everton's incompetence than Arsenal's brilliance. There wasn't a single Englishman in that Arsenal team. Sod off to Real Madrid Wenger if that's the way you are going to play it in a World Cup year.

4. Bellyache was picked ahead of Tevez by Unreal City. For all the moaning about City's spending, it was good to see so many Brits and Irishmen in their side. Given, Richards, Dunne, Bellyache, Ireland, Barry and Wright-Phillips. It looks like Lescott might be joining them next week. I hope City finish above Arsenal for that reason alone.

5 Wigan looked good. I mooted Martinez as a West Ham manager when Curbishley walked - I'm happy with Zola but this debut in the Prem by the personable ex Swansea manager was promising.

6. Villa looked all over the place meanwhile. How big a loss is Barry going to prove to be? Everton and Villa losing, that has to be good news for our ambitions to push on.

7. Pompey look doomed. Their would be chairman looks like a very bad Arab Elvis impersonator.

8. Great to see Burnley's retro shirts - they put our claret and hardly any blue abortions to shame. As for Chelsea's zips! Well I suppose zippy would not be out of place at the Bridge given fatty Wilkins now looks remarkably like Rainbow's Bungle.

9. Shearer was on the wrong pundit panel tonight. He should be on the Football League show after his relegation with Newcastle. Match of the Day looked stale - Shearer, Hanson and Lineker are past it - and the format for the new Football League show is dreadful.

10. Warnock got his just deserts again!