West Ham have just announced the signing of tennis ace Andy Murray. Manager Alan Curbishley explained, "As his performance in the Olympics showed, Murray is a mercenary b8stard who doesn't give a toss about the team if there isn't a big pay cheque for winning. Doesn't that sound like all my other signings? Andy is also injured on a regular basis and regularly flatters to deceive. He will fit in with the present squad perfectly! All I have to do now is to iron the attacking shots out of his game to make him the perfect Curbishley player!" Tottenham, meanwhile, have signed Nadal!
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