(The following post has been tendered for submission. I have tidied some of the high frequency spelling errors (their, you're etc) and added capital letters and apostrophes where required, but have left the stylized phonetic spellings and the occasional examples of regional dialect. I have removed the f and c words, using flippin where appropriate and git as a replacement for the c word. I have also substitute Spuds for the Y word. Because the original post was so long, I have broken it into manageable chunks which I will post in stages.)
You call yourself a Hammer, you aint no Hammer and me and the bruvs have your number. You're a flippin secret Spud and this is a Spud site. End of. The sooner News Now kick you on to the Spuds board the better.
I bet you aint even been to the East End. I bet you aint eaten pie and mash or jellied eels. You wont of eaten cockles and winkles cos they aint kosher. I bet you don't have any tats either. I have an ICF tat on my right calf, a Bobby Moore tat on my back, WHTID over my heart and COYI on my right arm. I bet you aint got any. I bet you're scared of the pain. Unless you've got COYS. I bet you're gay. I bet you've never been to the Boleyn and I bet you think we play in Green Lanes not Green Street you Spud git. I sit in the Bobby Moore Lower and I aint never seen you in the ground.
Look what you and Billywanksy who is you anyways have wrote about BG. What a load of bollox. You know jack shit about business. You aint never been a trader. My mate who used to work for a bank in China says what BG has done is normal. He says companies always change their accounting periods and you show yourself a flippin git for not knowing that. My mate says that the main reason would be to put off paying tax on big profits. You said it was cos we was bust well it is the reverse you twat. If you knew anythink you'd know that you don't pay tax before you have to. BG is just doing what any clued up business geezer would do. You write crap about BG being bust but what do you know? You haven't seen his bank statements. You just swallow the crap in the papers but every real Hammer knows that the press have got it in for us. The press is run by Jews what support the Spuds. Everyone knows that. There's no way BG is bust. Do you know how much he had when he took over the club. There's no way all that has gone just two years later you twat. How much did we get for Bellamy - £14m. And Ferdinand - 8m. And McCartney - £6m. And Pants and Z man - £6m. Add that lot together and that's lots of millions. Like I said we have held back the accounts to save paying tax. My mate says so and he was a trader. And anyway BG owns a bank you twat. He can just take more money out of his bank whenever he wants can't he.
Calling Curbishley Turds is well out of order. AC is a West Ham legend. He played for the club you plank. He loves West Ham. He didn't walk out on the club as you claim. The club sold him to Birmingham when we was relegated. That wasn't Curbishley's fault. Players are sold when clubs are relegated. You don't know he wanted to go. You never spoke to him did you. Players don't always want to go when they request transfers. Sometimes it is just a way of showing they want to be in the team. I bet Alan was really upset when we sold him to Birmingham. He was supposed to be a future England player so why would he want to go to Birmingham. Again you prove yourself a twat. He did a great job as our manager. He saved us from relegation. The Great Escape was brilliant. And then the next season he took us to tenth. He always said we was consolidating that season. And we finished above Spurs. He made some brilliant signings. Upson, Parker (player of the year), Neill, Bellamy (£6m profit), Dyer (he will be brilliant when fit). You hate him because you're a Spud. AC is a West Ham fan. End of. And you aint.
You are right out of order with Ashton calling him Beano and saying he is fat and lazy. Just because he said he likes pizza. I like pizza so what. He is the best striker in England no question. The only way we can win the World Cup is if Deano is fit and firing. His injuries aren't his fault. He didn't ask for a broken ankle did he you twat. Next season Deano will be ever present and will score 20 goals. But if you have your way he will do it for the Spuds. That's your game isnt it. Unsettle the squad through this blog. Make Deano think we don't want him so he asks for a transfer and the Spuds sign him. You did it with Bellamy. All that crap about calling him Bellyache. Then in comes a bid from the Spuds. What a surprise. I bet Redknapp is paying you to write this crap isn't he. That's it isn't it. Well the Board wouldn't have it would they. We aint selling to the Spuds any more. We know what you are up to so called Hammersfan. You're an attention seeking whore and we have your number.
Lee Vitout
(To be continued).
is this serious? lol
ReplyDeleteWe all believe this is legit.
ReplyDeleteHorrific!
ReplyDeletewow!! starting to think you take this way too seriously!! all the papers hate us cause there run by spurs supporting jew's??do you really think that's true?? you need too let this thing go lads an get on with your lives, your making all normal whfc fans look bitter an twisted. good luck west ham next season.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteCheers 1037, but I can't carry your post for obvious reasons. Leave it for 24 hours eh? ; }
ReplyDeleteThat's why you're wankers....
ReplyDeleteSee 1037! ; }
ReplyDeleteHammersfan; did you really have to post this absolute crud from some one who is bitter and twisted and makes all West Ham fans look completely stupid.
ReplyDeleteI hope whoever wrote this bullshit is reading right now (if they can read that is) because you really should go back to Junior School.
You are a complete numpty and are an embarrassment to all West Ham fans.
As Hammersfan knows I am not always a great fan of this site. Nevertheless he does try to be fair and does take a lot of personal abuse. Some of it warranted, the majority of it on reflection isn't.
ReplyDeleteIt is after all a website where fans or bloggers wish to debate/argue all that is right or wrong with West Ham.
I don't always like the style or content of the articles and from time to time point it out to the author.
I accept that if everyone had the same opinion then football would be terminally dull and there would be no need for these web sites.
If we promote free speech then we have to live with this dross. Well done Hammersfan for publishing the article.
Mental Read. You seem to have upset someone here fella. Apparently only tattoo sporting cockle eating green street living people are true hammers fans then. You also have to be a numpty reading these guys arguments. A lot of millions is nothing when compared to lots of billions. I know his mate is trader and he "would know" but the BG in question had a lot of assets in the icelandic banks when they folded but i wouldnt be surpriswed - with him being on the board as well that he lost all his investments / money.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! One of the funniest things I have read in ages! I certainly don't have anything against Curbishly and Dean Ashton is blinding! One of the best English strikers for ages and it is just unfortunate that he seems to be injury prone! I'd have him at the lane any day.
ReplyDeletePMSL!
COYS!
That was brilliant. I could actually picture his knuckles dragging on the floor as he attempted to pen this work of uninhibited hatred. What a moron. Just a small piece of advice from a friendly 'Spud' (who doesn't work in the newspapers and isn't Jewish), this guy should be paraded up and down Barking Road as the worst example of a Hammers fan. Seriously, if you want to stop getting covered in mud, you have to stop hanging around worth pigs. 'Gentlemen' like this give you all a bad name. Right i'm off to get COYS tattooed across my heart...
ReplyDeleteIts sad the BNP supporting...stone island wearing louts, who seem hell bent on making us look like a nasty bitter club feel the need in 2009 to generate their arguments with racial references. Rob Sheperd and Martin Samuel, probably two of the most respected journos are big West Ham fans, and we do have a strong contingent within the press.
ReplyDeleteI ve always said the only thing that tarnishes us as a club is the fans, the chant to Frank Lampard about him having no family opitimzes this, forgetting that it was disgraceful (I dislike fat frank intensely), it disprespected a West Ham legend in Frank Lampard Snr. The fact that it was booed out by a few of us gave us some moral standing, but gives you an insight to the mentallity behind our following.
this only make even more of a joke of your website.
ReplyDeleteyou're obviously an attention seeking whore.
get over yourself.
Gerald, shut up you prick, you sound just like the tosser who wrote the article in the first place.
ReplyDeleteIt's this sort of thing that make us 'spuds' laugh at you hamsters. I don't think we get anyone this thick at White Hart Lane (unless wh have come to play)
ReplyDelete'm with Gerald.... and also with Anonymous 12:45..... the guy that wrote this article IS a tosser.... AND an attention seeking whore... If only he were a spuds fan... Flippin' Childish Little Git!
ReplyDeletethfc for life - Every club has it's knuckle draggers and Spuds are no exception - remember Portsmouth??
ReplyDeleteHowever it's nice to get some friendly comments from Spuds fans eg Anon 12:11 and 12:18.
Ohhhhh.... and now he's edited my comment so as not to give the game away...
ReplyDeleteGrow up ffs!
As a spurs fan I am also fed up with you always using spurs in your headings to get some hits on our NewsNow. So it's time to stop.
ReplyDeleteAnon 13:45 - There are a number of sites on News now that I don't pay any attention to.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do is, I look at the title or name next to the headline and if it's a site / blog I'm not bothered with, or a site I don't like at all, guess what? I don't log onto it and that way it gets one less hit. Try it, it works.
Supernumbersix it does make me smile the way to continually jump to the defence of this sad man. I take it you know the full history of this fruit cake? His reply to someone re he enjoys making a profit out of peoples misery by buying up their houses just about sums the bloke up.
ReplyDeleteLOL I own half the East End mate. If you're having problems paying your mortgage, let me know; I can stave off repossession and negotiate a settlement that suits you, me and your lender. Your credit history is then clear which helps you enormously into the future. It is like Shelter with a profit motive. Drop me an email if you are in difficulties. Fruitcake? No, I'm only interested in the icing on the cake. And the cherry! ; }
ReplyDeleteWho wrote that was it Ged from www.westhamonline.net?
ReplyDeleteWho is he?
ReplyDeleteSounds like one of the West Ham fans who hiss at Spurs fans and come out with stuff like "Spurs are on their way to Auschwitz"
ReplyDeleteSee the apology on this blog. That sort of behaviour is disgraceful mate.
ReplyDeleteI concur with Mr. Vitout’s thoughtful posting in many though perhaps not all respects. To begin with I think there is no doubt that Hammersfan has not eaten sufficient quantities of jellied eel. How do I know this? You can just tell that's all. But as I am a believer that people can change, I think that as long as Hammersfan agrees to consume say, six?, ok, four jellied eels per day and is able to document it, I think we can leave the jellied eel issue behind us.
ReplyDeleteOK, not entire jellied eels. Portions. Standard portions. Enough about eels.
As for pie, I think Mr. Vitout is on shaky ground here. Hammersfan strikes me through his writing as someone who appreciates a good pie, and I for one am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on pie.
Mash is trickier. While some of his columns suggest an aversion to mash, others paradoxically seem to hint at a real mash trencherman. Perhaps Hammersfan himself could clarify his views on mash?
As for cockles and winkles, I think that they, along with political views are purely personal matters and should be left between a man and his conscience.
We can all admire Mr. Vitout’s tatoos, and especially his commitment to pain. I too have many tatoos. The one you notice first is my tatoo of Geoff Hurst ‘s face covering my own face. As I’ve aged however, the puffed-out cheeks are beginning to alarm the kids. My pride and joy tatoo however is Pop Robson on my nob. During sex Robson reenacts the diving header that beat Derby County in injury time, ca. 1974. Can Hammersfan say as much? Can Mr. Vitout? Huh, I thought not.
Quite agree that Hammersfan has gone way over the line worrying about the owner’s finances. The Icelandic National Bank is a fine institution with elegant pens on little chains near the deposit slips, lovely marble floors, and tasteful lighting. The fact that it doesn’t have much, or, technically speaking, any money in it is an obvious case of splitting hairs. I too have a mate in finance, and he assures me that using money as a measure of net worth is an outmoded accounting gimmick and Hammersfan needs to drop that one, but quick.
As to Curbishley, I agree with Vitout his reign as manager was an excellent spell for the team. This was a time I was suffering from chronic anxiety and insomnia, brought on, the doctors thought by an allergy to jellied eel. But you know me: jellied eel is non-negotiable. In any case, the soccer played during Curbishley’s time as manager completely cured my insomnia. I’d nod off around 3:10 every Saturday afternoon and wake early Monday ready for work. During all those blissful hours I used to dream Curbishley might bring Tevez off the subs’ bench.
Finally, about the jews. I thought a small group of them ran all the banks? Oh, wait.
What a bizarre post on a West Ham blog,
ReplyDeleteSeriously any true West Ham Supporter has a heart so full of love for the Hammers that there is simply no room to even consider ones feelings for other clubs
LOL 2024, it was you who stole my drugs! Very good.
ReplyDelete2102 I will see you in therapy on Monday!
I think it's an expert way of pulling your plonker HF and you appear to have fallen for it. Reminded me of Les Dawson’s piano playing, very clever; Dawson now there’s a name. We can all be a hotshot, see, all it takes is a little background knowledge, a little humour and not very much else. Had the same effect as your dig at the Dagenhamites so he is up there with you on that great mountain of pontification, well done that man. He did miss a pun though should have signed it: Levy Tout
ReplyDeleteGordon Zola
God Gordon, do you think somebody is on a wind up here. Shit, I feel such a fool.
ReplyDeleteIf you need to know anything HF just come to the house of Gord
ReplyDeleteToo clever for me mate, too clever by half! I've posted the second installment! What a fool I look!
ReplyDelete