With 'Arry's tax evasion trial imminent, rumour has it that he is already planning his Mean Machine to take Pentonville Prison into Europe. So, no doubt, he has been alerted by news that Callum Davenport also faces a trial in January for assaulting his sister.
Originally there was a massive outpouring of sympathy for Davenport with stories doing the rounds of him standing up to drug dealers, but now a different picture is emerging. Of course stabbing a guy to stop him assaulting your girlfriend is well over the top but it would appear that the Davenports mix with the dregs of society, so what can they expect?
Mind you, the idea of Davenport assaulting anybody puts me in mind of Geoffrey Howell's resignation speech in which he laid into Thatcher. Maggie talked of being savaged by a sheep and in Davenport's case, it would be a giraffe! Beware of those dangerous velvet covered horns on the top of the head!
CHAV'S CHAV'S CHAV'S
ReplyDeleteYou only have to look at davenport to know that he was most probably brought up on buckfast & chip buttie's.
Where do we keep finding these players?
Maybe next season we will be sponsored by Jerry Springer.
And as for Davenport being a giraffe, I now cant get this image of this out of my head(thanks for that),whilst trying to think of all of the rest of the squad and what animals they would be......Faubert - a frog, (of course) Jimmy - a peacock , Ashdon - a lame, no sorry dead horse, and thats as far as I got.
By this point, if your still with me you might have guested from the tangent and bad spelling/gramar that I have had a few, and am getting into the xmas spirit , quite literally.
Any other idea's for the rest of the squad please let me know.
Are we still forking out 30k a week for this muppet? Surely he's violated some conduct clause in his contract?
ReplyDeleteStanislas-meercat?
ReplyDeleteDyer-unlucky Alf?
Faubert a frog? They are lively! Puts me more in mind of a toad - miserable looking and very very very slow.
ReplyDeleteMost of the current team are donkeys. In fact we are something of a Donkey Rescue Centre. Knackered, unwanted, lame donkeys, send them to us and we will keep them in clover for the rest of their lives!
TIS, what on earth is an unlucky Alf?
He was a character in the fast show, kept being blown by the wind into manholes and ditches as he walked by them lol
ReplyDelete