Team and Tactics for Bolton

We need a game against Bolton like Cameron needs a salacious press story about his fagging at Eton. We go into the game on the back of an utterly uninspired and insipid surrender at Birmingham, whilst Bolton come into the match adrenaline pumped after one of the Premiership games of the season against Man City. A win for Bolton should see them climb out of the bottom three, whilst defeat for ourselves will see us sink further beneath the survival line. Remember a certain game at Bolton under Pardew? We went into the match with injuries to key players and on the back of a string a poor results. We were thumped 4-0. If that is too painful, how about the 1-0 defeat under Roeder which effectively sealed our last relegation? Or,of course, we have already had a dress rehearsal earlier in the season, when again we came away empty handed.

Whilst Zola will be confusing his players with 4-5-1 and 4-3-3 permutations, Megson will keep it all very simple. Get in their faces, bully them off the ball, look for second phase possession, win as many set plays as possible. Zola will be preparing a bantamweight boxer, and Megson sending out a heavyweight slugger. With our glass jaw, the result looks frighteningly predictable!

And to be fair to Zola, what options does he have? Without Cole, we don't have an attack and we have also lost an important key to defending corners. Dare he bring in Nouble? The kid will give us inches but, from what I've seen, nothing much else! One thing's for sure in my mind, this nonsense of leaving Franco utterly isolated and of playing Stanislas and Diamanti on the wrong flanks must stop. I doubt that Dyer is ready yet to make a start so my team would be 4-4-2 and would read: Green - Spector, Da Costa, Upson (if fit, otherwise Tomkins) Ilunga - Collison, Parker, Kovac, Diamanti - Franco and Stanislas. The decision to leave out Gabbidon might seem controversial but I don't think he is good enough in the air for this match and these opponents. For the same reason, I have gone with Spector over Faubert. I hate picking Kovac but I can't see an alternative unless Dyer is up to starting - and that is very unlikely. I also hate pinning Diamanti to the flank, albeit the correct flank to suit his left foot, but can anybody see him coping against the Bolton bruisers in the middle of the park?

Do I fancy that team to win? No. Do I fancy it to draw? No. I see this game as pretty much a home banker to be honest, just as I did when Pardew led a dispirited and limping bunch up to Bolton for what proved to be his final game. Who knows, a defeat by a similar margin might just trigger the end of Zola's tenure too.

These are dark days as we take the field beneath the shadow of the dark satanic mills.