Apologies in advance for the reduced service over the next 6 home games. Unfortunately I will not be able to post half time reports and the final match report will be appearing later than usual. The reason? Having bought the mini season ticket for myself and my son, I will not have access to a computer until I complete the long journey back to Bracknell. (3G? What's that then?)
In the meantime, I am looking for some help. Could anybody please tell me:
1. Is there a tube station closer to the ground than Seven Sisters?
2. If it is cold, would I be safe wearing my only scarf - navy and white?
3. Do fans still take football rattles to games?
4. Is the ICF a type of inter city train?
5. Where in London, approximately, is West Ham? Is it close to Chelsea or the West End?
6. Should I confide in anybody that I have a University degree or is this likely to generate a negative response?
7. Could somebody share with me some rhyming slang so I can converse with the natives?
Your help would be greatly appreciated.
And for the regular contributors, if you fancy meeting up for a beer (or orange juice Stani) on match day, drop me an email. It would be great to put some faces to names!
And just in case anybody from the club looks in here, Emma in the ticket office is brilliant - very helpful indeed!
Anyone approaching the author of this blog with the words "you are hammersfanno1 and I claim my prize" will be rewarded with a copy of Hammersfan's latest bestseller "How to be a smug bastard like me!"
ReplyDeleteIF ONLY there were a reduced service, would do us all a favour.
ReplyDeleteWhere you sitting then hammersfan in the ground????
ReplyDelete@20:02 - Aaaah we can but dream.
ReplyDelete"If anyone from the club looks in here..."
Delusions on grandeur you megalomaniac fool, do you not realise that you suffer from symptoms of a mental illness marked by the figment of your warped imagination? Of course no one from West Ham looks in here, why on earth would they?
Give just one GOOD reason why they should?
I only pop because it's such fun to read the nonsense you post and then to read the myriad of replies, it's great sport.
@20:02 - Aaaah we can but dream.
ReplyDelete"If anyone from the club looks in here..."
Delusions on grandeur you megalomaniac fool, do you not realise that you suffer from symptoms of a mental illness marked by the figment of your warped imagination? Of course no one from West Ham looks in here, why on earth would they?
Give just one GOOD reason why they should?
I only pop in here because it's such fun to read the nonsense you post and then to read the myriad of replies, it's great sport.
Do you think you will cover your sons ears when somebody swears, or maybe cover his eyes at the sight of a tattoo, get real.
ReplyDeletebloody hell, you're actually going to go. such a first timer you have to lead into it with a little drum roll. Have fun!
ReplyDeleteLOL Marty. Ever read Brighton Rock? I'm Koley Kibber, I'll leave "Fanno" cards along my route! They seek him here, they seek him there, that damned elusive Fannokinhell!
ReplyDelete2009, no, I was thinking of sitting on the pavement outside the ground. That's why I've bought tickets for the game! Syntax, it's a bitch!
ReplyDeleteI like coming to this blog too - the guys such a jerk - I bet he wished he never started but you can imagine the sort of guy he is, too proud to let it go... it'll bring the death of him.
ReplyDelete@20:15 you crack me up mate - of course he is delusional!!!
ReplyDelete"How to be a smug bastard like me!" hahaha you can see it now.
ReplyDeleteNot wishing to be too smug about it, to be smug, you have to have something to be smug about mate!
ReplyDeletethat's the smuggest thing ever written...classic
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoy the games HF. Even if the article is conceited and mildly deluded.
ReplyDeleteThanks mate. The article is tongue in cheek. Every West Ham fan should hope I enjoy the games - because I won't if we don't win!
ReplyDeleteHF,
ReplyDeleteAccording to our dear friend anonymous, by meeting me for a drink you'd be meeting yourself; we're the same person remember! :)
I hear they do alcohol free beers these days :) But if it's carbonated I'll have to give it a miss....no fizzy stuff inside me either. A mineral water would do but only after match cos I'll only need the toilet as soon as we win a free kick outside the box and Diamanti steps up!
You gonna leave moderation on while you're at the games to stop the filth from commenting?...the filth that are supposedly always at the games?
Thanks for the offer, sincerely. Will let you know if I manage to make it down. Enjoy it mate!
Christ you've got a good memory. I did Greene's morality tale for "O" level but couldn't for the life of me remember where my "phrase" had come from. Good book, good writer. Enjoy the games, I hope you don't run into Pinkie.
ReplyDeleteI don't get involved much these days but the blog is still a victory for the pertinent over the prosaic, keep up the good work!
personally I've always seen it as a victory for the pish over the poor
ReplyDelete"Every West Ham fan should hope I enjoy the games - because I won't if we don't win!"
ReplyDeleteSince when have you EVER just enjoyed a win? Even when we win you talk about when we were poor. You've never got anything to say about just enjoying supporting the team or enjoying a win. It's a results driven sport yeah, but being West Ham fan has never been just about the winning has it?
You live in Bracknell? Well that explains a lot. Berkshire hunt
ReplyDeleteBig org meeting at the Sunderland game, no doubt your invite is winging its way to Guildford via Bracknell. Even the Archbishop is making his way down so I am sure you will be welcome amongst old friends. By the way old Nuky’s an interesting character on the org isn’t he Trevor?
ReplyDeleteIs he short arse? Do you think he is somebody you know? Where is everybody meeting for the Sunderland game and will you be wearing that black jacket?
ReplyDeleteLOL 1137, that's very good!
Marty, it is so much more than a morality tale. Read it again. It is a metaphor for the fast approaching Second World War and Greene's attempt to build a bridge between his logical atheism and his discovery of Catholicism. Weird and thought provoking!
12.43 It's Berkeley Hunt not Berkshire Hunt you merchant banker.
ReplyDeleteHF I might just do that, I remember all the catholocism stuff but perhaps my teacher wasn't bright enough to point out the metaphorical stuff. Or maybe I was too busy listening to the test match on my pocket radio!
Pocket radio, picking up long wave? French, period 3, ear to my bag, listening to the top 20 countdown. Was that on a Wednesday or Thursday?
ReplyDeleteI had a little ear phone, the cable of which ran from my left palm, down my jacket sleeve and into the inside pocket where the radio resided. By adopting the classic schoolboy pose; pen in right hand, head resting on the left hand with elbow on the table; I rarely missed a ball. But then again, cricket was very nearly as big a part of my life as West Ham is of yours! It was Thursday night.
ReplyDeleteTOTP was on a Thursday evening but the Top 20 countdown was around mid day on either the Wednesday or Thursday.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I have two loves: West Ham and the England cricket team. Sadly, the loss of test matches to Sky has dented my passion for cricket. Paying £50 a day for 5 days in a row is not an option, so I only get to one day of the Lords test, and as I don't have Sky, I can't watch the other 4 days. My son's interest in cricket has evaporated as a result. Which is why 20 20 rounders is the future of the game sadly.
@12:32 since when did he ever enjoy a game even when we won? the answer is never - the guy needs anti depressants
ReplyDeleteEl matillo - I refer you to the following site you Berkshire hunt! - http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/berkshire_hunt
ReplyDelete