England Plan Open Top Bus Tour

Following the epic victory over Slovenia, the battling draws against Algeria and the USA and the grossly unfair defeat against Germany - courtesy of the outrageous failure to award a goal after Lampard's shot had clearly crossed the line - an open topped bus tour of London is being planned by the Football Association for our returning Three Lions heroes.

A spokesman for the FA said, "We feel it appropriate that fans have the opportunity to show their appreciation for the efforts of our fallen heroes. We must not forget the sacrifices these players have made in serving out country so valiantly on foreign fields of international conflict."

The spokesman was quick to counter suggestions that the tour would represent a drain on FA resources. He said, "Happily, most of Capello's team are so old that they qualify for free bus passes anyway."