Sunday, 27 June 2010

That's England's World Cup



(To the tune of The Jam's "That's Entertainment")

A Green howler and a Heskey error
Four four two are Capello’s tactics
Rooney whining and a stray pass begging
Rio’s injury and fat Lamps slowing

That’s England’s World Cup, that’s England’s World Cup

The scuff of Dempsey and the fumble of Rob Green
A knackered Gerrard and a treacherous Jamie
Empty nets and the wail of old ‘Arry
Lights going out and a kick in the balls

I say that’s England’s World Cup, that’s England’s World Cup

Germans with speed against go slow centre backs
Taking the piss on humiliation Sunday
Watching the game and choking on lager
A boiling bar and piss on your dreams

I say that’s England’s World Cup, that’s England’s World Cup

Waking up at 6 a.m. on a boiling hot morning
Opening the windows and breathing in pollen
A helpless team on a faraway field
Inflated wages and thinking 'bout their holidays

That’s England’s World Cup, that’s England’s World Cup

Waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes
Cuddling Bridge’s bird and smelling stale perfume
A hot night’s screwing and sticky whore’s fruit juice
A selfish shag whilst a team mate is far away,

That’s England’s World Cup, that’s England’s World Cup

Two German goals before we start playing
Two German scorers in the tranquillity of solitude
Giving an open goal and gifting three others
A dozy linesman and Capello’s crap tactics

I say that’s England’s World Cup, that’s England’s World Cup

That's England's World Cup, that's England's World Cup

(Repeat for the next 40 years!)

2 comments:

Rabelais said...

Well, I'm a big Jam and Paul Weller fan - now there is someone England can be proud of.

Did you ever have a really close friend, who was telling you all about this girl they were going to ask out, or some job they were going for. And they were really talking up there chances, believing that they were in with a shout, when in your heart you know that they don't have a hope in hell but you just can't bring yourself to tell them the truth?

Well, England, you were never in the running here and Germany showed you why. The Lampard goal. Consider it karma. There is no way of breaking this gentle to you but the third goal in the 66 final didn't cross the line. No number of action replays and computer graphic is going to change that, and everyone else in the world knows it except England.

England have a squad of decent players and if as a nation you could ditch the illusion of perpetual Greatness and just learn to enjoy your football, then the it's possible that the players may respond to the big occasions. At the moment the weight of incredible expectations just seems to weigh too heavily on them and they often play with fear.

England expects! Maybe England just expects a little too much.

Stani Army said...

Don't worry big boy, out with the junk and time to get the next lot ready and learn from the mistakes:

..................Hart
Johnson...Cahill...Dawson...Gibbs
Cole.......Cattermole....A. Johnson
.................Wilshere
...........Rooney.......Carroll

Bench
S. Taylor, Smalling, Richards, Rodwell, Delph, Moses, Wellbeck, Hines, Walcott, M. Johnson.....