West Ham Stun Fans With Breathtaking Display

No more than 9 months after being robbed of victory against a full strength Chelsea side by a dubious penalty, West Ham stunned their fans today with a breathtaking display against Lampardless Chelsea, unluckily slipping to a 3-1 home defeat.

Fate was cruel to West Ham today. Green was his usual brilliant self and was so unlucky to find himself picking the ball out of the back of the net three times. The first goal was a total fluke, with Essien climbing on a West Ham defender before heading for goal. Somehow the ball evaded Green and Cole who both dived valiantly in an effort to save it. 1-0 down inside 2 minutes and fate had cruelly kicked the Hammers in the nuts. Once again, we had conceded from a corner. Once again a cross into our box had cost us a goal. How unlucky is that? Lucky, lucky Chelsea!

The second goal was even more cruel however. Drogba bent a free kick up and over the wall and Green fell forward, making a magnificent effort to hold the gently dipping shot. Sadly the backspin caused England's undisputed Number One to drop the ball - although this may have been a brilliantly quick release of the ball to Upson, in the hope of setting up a counter attack. If this was the case, fate intervened viciously, with Upson's attempted defence splitting pass from the edge of his own six yard box striking Kolou and rebounding into the net. Lucky, lucky Chelsea! What have West Ham done to offend God exactly?

Our bad luck didn't stop there though. Clean through on goal after a brilliant Cole pass, Obinna unluckily sliced wide from 8 yards out. Had that gone in, who knows what might have happened? Earlier Obinna had cruelly seen his first shot in Claret & Blue narrowly miss the corner flag and go for a throw. A brilliant Cole goal was then struck out for offside. It was so marginally offside that the goal should surely have been given.

Then in the second half, Chelsea enjoyed another massive slice of luck when Ilunga found himself treading water in a huge puddle and so unable to travel faster than a jog to close down a cross from the left. Poor Ben Haim then found himself trapped in a pot hole, enabling Essien to climb above him and head home. Unluckiest of all, however, was once again Rob Green. He so nearly came for that cross but, at the last moment decided against it. No doubt his recent surgery was the reason behind his decision to retreat to his line.

Then came the best moment of the game, a truly brilliant goal from Super Super Scotty Parker. What a lob! What a goal! If only that had gone in earlier in the game. Had we scored first, it would have been a different game, no question. Typically lucky Chelsea  to score three fluky goals before we scored one brilliant one!

Then more Chelsea luck, a brilliant Obinna cross met superbly by Piquionne's head, but being just two feet off the line, with an empty net gaping, he couldn't get the ball down in time so he cruelly headed it against the bar. Had that gone in, we would have gone on to win 4-3, no question.

A brilliant performance all round with scant reward for the players' outstanding efforts. Green for England! Cole for England! Parker for England! Upson for England! Noble for England! Dyer for England! Behrami for Switzerland! Obinna for Nigeria! Jacobsen for Denmark! Boa for Portugal! Ilunga for Africa! Ben Haim for Palestine!...

(Match Report supplied by Lee Vitout)

Player Ratings:

Green 10: Jacobsen 10, Ben Haim 10 Upson 10, Ilunga 10; Behrami 10, Noble 10, Parker 100, Boa-Morte 10; Cole 10, Obinna 10 Subs Dyer 10, Piquionne 10