Time To Roll On Roly Poly McCarthy!

We have been playing well. For 45 minutes against Stoke, we were very good. We were excellent for most of the game against Sunderland. Against Spurs we were superb. We woke up in the second half against Fulham. And against Wolves we clawed ourselves back from the dead. But through-out, one thing has been lacking: goals.

To be fair, we did net twice against both Sunderland and Wolves but that plonker Catchabung single handedly kept the score down at Molineux. Apparently Mick McCarthy is thinking of signing him in the transfer window to play between the sticks!

And talking McCarthies, is this the time to roll on our roly-poly McBenni? I have been perplexed by Grant's use of Cole as a late sub when we are looking for goals. Against both Fulham and Wolves, Cole had a chance to win the game but failed to put away the opportunities. But that's hardly surprising is it? Poaching isn't Carlton's game; he is the honest gamekeeper who will put in a good day's shift but is unlikely to grab the headlines. McBenni is the exact reverse.

Can you see McCarthy posing naked for a testicular cancer awareness campaign? An Obesity Awareness campaign perhaps, but it would have to be a double page centre spread to accommodate the staples in his stomach. But fat bastard though he is, McBenni does have an eye for a goal as well as for a burger.

Today''s is a must win game for me, with the potential to define the whole season. I would like to see Obinna pulled wide left, Dyer played wide right and Piquionne leading the line with McBenni. We will need to score twice to win, so let's pick a team that bristles with scoring potential for a change.

I'm not keen on predicting a win for fear of putting the mockers on us, but I reckon Newcastle are due a hammering. How about a fiver on Dyer to score today too, based on the "Rule of the Ex"?