Following the announcement that 35% of the club is up for sale, West Ham are the subject of a joint bid on behalf of disgraced Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and under fire Italian Premier Silvio Burlusconi. Anxious to shelter money illicity accumulated whilst in power, the undemocratic duo have been alerted to the enormous growth potential of the club over the next five years.
Agent Oman Leavit Outus, who is fronting the bid, explained, "As soon as Mr Burlusconi can get his fingers out of his seventeen year old mistress, he is anxious to get them into the West Ham pie and mash. He has a wealth of experience in football and is attracted to a tie up with current owners Mr Sullivan and Mr Gold based on shared interests outside of football. He is checking out extradition arrangements between Italy and the UK but is confident that a donation of a million pounds or so to the Conservative Party & to the Italian Mafia should ensure that outstanding judicial issues should not present a problem."
Leavit Outus continued: "Mr Mubarak is especially impressed by the way public funds have been misappropriated to finance the redevelopment of the new stadium and sees himself slotting in perfectly as a result. He has no problems with working with Mr Gold and Mr Grant, having been a good friend of Israel for many years."
A spokesman for the F.A. dismissed concerns that Mubarak and Burlusconi may fail the Fit and Proper Person Test saying: "I can't see how an objection is possible given the profile of the present owners"!
its a real shame the Swiss authorities have frozen Mubarak's assets - will need to find someone else to invest in us!
ReplyDeleteNice one! You know of course that the money for these shares will go into the pockets of the Icelanders. The club will just change ownership (partially). There will be no new money into the club. Unless of course the new owners are indeed Mubarak or Berlusconi and they will invest into building up a team. But then again, that would be difficult because I don't G&S matching whatever the new owners will be willing to put into the club. Neither will be willing to have their own stock holding dilutted.
ReplyDeleteSav, I know your a regular on here but seriously..... I think you've missed the sarcasm there buddy.
ReplyDelete13:31. I know HF is obviously been sarcastic here. This is why I start by saying "Nice one!" to him. I just went on to mention what some people may not quite get regarding theis attempt to sell the Icelandic shares. Not much as far as clubs liquidity is concerned.
ReplyDelete