Contagious

Apparently Roy Keane was invited to a "Teaching and Learning" seminar recently, designed to improve the average IQ of football managers. The session opened with the teacher saying, "I'd like to explore your vocabulary. Let's begin with the word contagious; who can give me a sentence including the word contagious in context?"

After an explanation of what the words "sentence" and "context" meant, a number of hands were raised. Martin Jol volunteered, "When Carrick got a tummy bug, it proved contagious." The teacher said, "Well done" and gave him all the pies.

Red Stripe Robbo belched and volunteered, "Alcohol Abuse is an illness but it isn't contagious." The teacher gave him a drink as a prize.

Keane then raised his hand and volunteered: "When Mick McCarthy said he was going to turn Wolves into a Premiership team, I said it would take that cunt ages!"