Rumours abound of a Pakistani betting ring collecting millions in winnings following the shock announcement that Bob Woolmer died from natural causes. With strangulation at odds on and poisoning at evens, natural causes was the 8-1 outsider of three. A shell shocked bookie said, "There have been some very suspicious betting patterns, not least from members of the local police force. We are calling for an urgent inquiry and are suspending settlement of all bets pending a ruling."
At least Woolmer can now be cremated. It is understood his ashes will be kept in an urn and that Pakistan will play Ireland every four years for the new trophy. A spokeman said, "The games might not be as big as the England Australia matches but, given the size of Bob's belly, the urn will be a bloody sight bigger!"
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