Allardyce already making excuses!

So, according to Sam Pot our "Big Three" - Tinkey Winky, Dipsey and Laa Laa to their friends - are distracted because of possible bids that have never materialised, we haven't signed players because there are too many available and although Sam wants "another striker", he also wants to see what Hines and Stanislas can do, and "people like that".

Doctor Evil my be going gaga already. Who are "people like" Hines and Stanislas exactly? Has he found a secret store of mediocre young players who are neither one thing, nor the other. Or has Sam been watching the riots on London's streets and thinking, "He looks like Hines and he looks like Stanislas, perhaps we could sign them and give them a go!"

And how exactly are Parker, Green and Cole being distracted by an absence of bids? Surely that should keep them focused? Or is it dawning on the three of them that they aint that special after all. Is Parker thinking, "God, I looked shit against Cardiff so maybe I aint all that, just as Hamersfan has been explaining for two years now!"

And why, exactly, is a flood of available players a reason for NOT signing anybody? Is it time to change the Old Mother Hubbard rhyme?

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
To give the poor dog a bone:
When she came there,
The cupboard was stuffed,
And so the poor dog had none!

I'm hearing far too many excuses already. Has Doctor Evil softened following his heart operation? Have we signed yet another pup? Is Allardyce a deceased dictator nailed to the Upton Park perch? Is he less Sam Pot and more Sam Po?