Feeling Tottenham's Collar

The bells of Big Ben chime. Out of the darkness we hear the whistling of "Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner". A policeman walks towards the camera. Cue Jack Warner:

Ah good evening. Do you know if you're a copper, you get a birds eye view of people in all walks of life. The criminal population isn't confined to one section by a long chalk. And sometimes when you get to the bottom of a case, you get a bit of a surprise.

They say there's a bad apple in every barrel and we thought at Tottenham, it must be 'Arry. But according to Sullivan and Gold, the whole barrel is rotten to the core. Never mind News International, the big scandal centres on breaches of the Data Protection Act by Tottenham when instructing a private dick investigating our bid for the Olympic White Elephant. It seems that this may be a police matter and that custodial sentences could follow. Presumably, if Levy is put on trial, other offences will be taken into account such as the attempt to con us into paying £6m for shot bolt Keane.

With 'Arry facing trial for tax evasion, he and Levy could end up in adjacent cells!