Window? What window? West Ham plan new signings!

Well we thought that it was it! The window had slammed shut and we all took a deep intake of breath thinking, bloody hell, we have a half decent squad all of a sudden. But now it seems, although we thought it was all over, it isn't yet!

Two trialists may be on the point of signing. One, David Carney, is a left back with Premiership experience with Blackpool. His arrival should ensure that Ilunga will never again fail to put in a shift for the team. Perhaps we could buy Rita a ticket to Senegal and tip off the pirates that there is a "top international footballer" sunbathing on the beach. He would be easy enough to catch because there's no bloody way he would run! Maybe they already have Savio because he has gone missing again!

How good is Carney? Well he can't be as bad as Ilunga and Spector. In fact, defensively, he can't be any worse than Bridge! I'd sign him and I suspect Doctor Evil will too.

The other is a Brazilian defensive midfielder who specialises in dead ball situations. Well Doctor Evil will fancy a bit of that and so perhaps we can expect Juca to be offered a contract too. And there's talk of a centre back arriving on loan too!

It's all happening isn't it? And we play Millwall at the weekend! This Championship malarkey is pretty good fun isn't it? Premiership? Who needs it?