A Missive From Doncaster

1 West Ham         27  19 53
2 Southampton     27 20 50
3 Cardiff              27 15 49
4 Middlesbrough  27   3 45
5 Hull                   27   3 45
6 Birmingham       26 16 43
7 Blackpool          27 9 42
8 Reading              27 7 42
9 Leeds                27 5 42
10 Brighton          27 1 41
11 Derby             27 -2 41
12 Burnley           27 6 40
13 Leicester         27 6 38
14 Crystal Palace 27 -1 37
15 Barnsley          27 -4 36
16 Peterborough   27 1 33
17 Portsmouth      26 0 31
18 Watford        27 -11 30
19 Bristol City    27 -12 30
20 Millwall         27 -8 29
21 Ipswich        27 -16 28
22 Nott'm Forest 27 -22 24
23 Doncaster    27 -22 23
24 Coventry      27 -13 22

I spent 10 days in the summer finding Mido, and today I'm in Doncaster, hunting down Billy Sharp, hoping to persuade him to come south with me and sign for West Ham. This place is such a dump - despite the new shopping centre - I can't imagine why anybody would want to stay here. Reject Leicester by all means - who would want to live there - but choose Donny over London? Why?

Mind you, I have had a fascinating time. I stood outside a house being cleared by bailiffs for non payment of rent and watched as the furniture and TVs were carried out and loaded into a van. Pretty soon the van was packed to the rafters, and then two guys came out carrying a dining table.
"There's no way that's fitting in the van," one guy said.
They looked at the heaving van, looked at the table, stood around scratching their heads, and then one noticed something. "The legs unscrew!" he said triumphantly. "We could unscrew the legs, slide and stack them down the side of the van there and then lay the table top on top of all the other stuff in that five inch gap up there."
"Brilliant!" his mate said. So they unscrewed the legs, slid and stacked them down the side of the van, and then hoisted the table onto the pile of furniture, squeezing it neatly into the only remaining five inch gap, and there it lay.

All of which goes to prove that sometimes, the table really does lie!