Sunday, 1 April 2012

The Allardyce April Fool Started On December The Third


A number of papers and blogs are running the mandatory April Fool gags - with the Org ridiculously trying to convince us that Allardyce is the FA's chosen man for the England job - but the real April Fools are the West Ham fans who couldn't see the writing on the wall until it was far too late. I carry a piece from one of the Allardyce backers below, arguing it is too late to replace Allardyce now, and he may be right, but it is too late because he and others like him kept saying, "Look at the table, the table doesn't lie" completely ignoring my point that if a team keeps playing poorly and snatching lucky wins, sooner or later the luck will run out.

Well Lady Luck decided she was fed up with Allardyce shafting her up her "You want to put it where?" as long ago as December the Third when Burnley came to Upton Park, defended until they went behind and then realised, hang on "The Emperor hasn't got any clothes" and strolled up the other end to help themselves to two goals and three points. That was it. The great Allardyce myth was laid bare, and the whole division saw that he was all mouth and no trousers. And bloody ugly in the raw!

Next up we went to Reading. Score 3-0 to the Royals. We beat Barnsley next up, but the score was 1-0 and the pattern was therefore established. Three games, two goals scored. But my criticism was met with "The table doesn't lie!" Well, look at the table now guys. Presumably it hasn't been on a course on how to lie since Christmas!

So, here are the facts. Since December the Third, we have collected a total of 32 points from 20 games. That's an average of 1.6 points per game, which equates to 74 points over an entire season, barely enough to qualify for the play offs! Over that 20 game period we have won just 8 games. Get that? Eight wins in twenty in the Championship. But it's taken until two weeks ago for a bandwagon to start. Funnily enough, when we slipped out of the top two, people suddenly woke up! The table doesn't lie, but apparently we can't believe what we see with our own eyes!

So, here is a fact. The longer Allardyce has remained in charge, the worse we have become. People were telling me that it would take time for the team to gel, for Allardyce to stamp his mark on the club. Well he has stamped his mark well and truly now and turned the revered West Ham number 6 into the Doctor Evil 666, the mark of the Devil.

I joined the positive thinkers for two days. I channelled positive energy. I backed Sam Pot's team selection. I even bit my tongue when Collins replaced Noble when we were a goal behind. But where did that get us exactly?

When the butcher comes to take away Boxer, Benjamin yells at the other animals, "Fools! Fools! Fools! Can't you see what's written on the side of that van?" Sadly far too many of you couldn't read the writing on the wall! Well let me enlighten you. For three months now it has read, "All teams in this division are equal but some teams, Reading and Southampton, are more equal than others"!

13 comments:

  1. Well said. I really thought we have been poor since December, too. Yes we did not lose a ton of games in January/February, but we dropped many points that we should not have and now our lack of leadership is showing. Nolan is a rubbish leader, BFS is a deluded overweight Northern c*** and we are on the road to another season at this level. Worst of all, this whole path we are on is SuGo's fault.

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  2. Could not have put it better myself! Allardice is a liability, but then again so are the owners. What made them think that a manager who was sacked by two clubs previously would suddenly become good.

    The owners are equally to blame in this debacle, afraid to make important decisions when needed (Grant last Jan) and appointing Allardice in the first place and then keeping him when it was obviously all going 'pear shaped'.

    Running a porn empire they may be good at, football clubs they should leave i'm afraid, to other people.

    I asked Gold yesterday if he supported the manager 100% and the reply said it all. Silence! If you don't think he is good enough Gold, then sack him, if you think he's great, come out and publicly back him.

    As for the supporters, with this 'COYI and back the team shit', wake up, it all to do with poor tactics, poor man management and an 80's approach to football. Sing and cheer all you like it will make no difference.

    Di Canio is the man for me, though he lacks experience, he's leadership, passion and love for the club will win through. We need someone like him, who is not there just for the money, who's enthusiasm will breathe new life through the club.

    He will bring I believe, a new era of fast, fashionable and flowing football to Upton Park and become West Ham's Alex Ferguson. He can't do any worse than the last two fools surely!

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  3. Anony-mouse says,

    Truce is off then?

    You've been slating Allardyce all season but it's only in the last two weeks or so that you've said sack him. So don't imply that you'd have sacked him months ago. Argue back on that one and imply I'm wrong if you will but I'll just look it up on your recent blogs to confirm that in the last two weeks you responded to me by saying you'd stick with Allardyce.

    All I've championed is what you yourself did with Grant, someone who doesn't even deserve the description of manager. You gave that miserable blagger and non-entity more time than you've given Allardyce. And yes you can claim he took Chelsea to the CL final, but the footbaling world knows that was Mourinho's team in the same way that it was Ron Saunders team that won Villa the European Cup, not Tony Bartons.

    As I expected your truce was only ever going to last until we lost- genuine positivity can only come from the positive. But you and yours have won- if we don't go up Allardyce will certainly go- he has lost some whilst others were never going to give him a chance in the first place. Even if we do go up I think he'll walk of his own accord, as he'll know what's coming when we inevitably go through bad spells. He'll go to the likes of Wolves who will see what he did here in difficult circumstances. We'll see- I don't claim to be able to read the future.

    Sadly i think there will be more pain to come before the 'we should be beating everybody with this squad' element of support come to realise that our name and history, and an untried 'West Ham' type manager alone is not enough to win football matches and leagues. I genuinely hope I'm wrong about that, cos I'd much rather see us flourish rather than what I suspect will happen next. Again, we will see.

    PS- I asked you the other week not to post any of my comments as threads but I see you've done it any way. Thanks for that. Forgive me if you've done it in the mean-time but last time I looked you hadn't answered any of the questions I posed. It may be that you have not had time to do so or could it be that it is one thing to say as you belatedly have- 'Sack him' and quite another to come up with solutions that such a 'remedy' would throw up. I'll keep an eye out to see if you respond to that.

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  4. Anony-mouse, I felt your case deserved a wider audience than simply being buried in comments. I'll take it down if you really want me to but I do believe it offers a good counter argument to mine. Only fair to offer balance when balance is available.

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  5. Answer him then
    ...

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  6. I have answered the question: -

    "I carry a piece from one of the Allardyce backers below, arguing it is too late to replace Allardyce now, and he may be right, but it is too late because he and others like him kept saying, "Look at the table, the table doesn't lie" completely ignoring my point that if a team keeps playing poorly and snatching lucky wins, sooner or later the luck will run out."

    Had we got rid earlier, a new manager could have populated the squad with his own men: flair players who fit a 4-4-2 formation or a genuine 4-3-3 with somebody balancing Vaz Te on the left. And yes, i accept Allardyce signed Vaz Te, but he also signed Maynard and Baldock even though neither could play 4-3-3.

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  7. Hf from a outsiders point of view would hammers not be happy with Alan curbs

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  8. Anony-mouse says,

    It's up there now so it may as well stay HF. Got to say though that there don't appear to be too many magic answers to the questions posed.

    This really isn't a knock at the lad who did post but he started off by saying we cant afford to sack Allardyce and ended by saying sack him now. That's what I meant when I said this isn't easy. There are no simple answers no matter how black and white you and others attempt to portray this.

    Got to say too I don't think you're really answering the questions either. Saying what would have been best to happen weeks or months ago simply isn't the same as answering the questions I posed that are based on yours and others desire to sack him now.

    Anyway you and me will never agree on this one (nothing new there) so I'll leave you in peace on this one- my din dins is ready. Nice bit of roast beef since you ask :)

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  9. Kevin in manchester writes...

    All season you have been under a misapprehension that all west ham had to do was turn on the style and bury inferior opposition turning up at the boleyn. It was never going to be like that. Only six teams have bounced back at first attempt in 40. This west ham side is the worst that's been relegated in my opinion, and in the worst financial predicament, yet it has already wracked up more points than any other west ham team in their first relegation season bar the 92/93 season when the division really was shit. You castigate the quality in this championship; i can't fathom why - swansea finished where last year.? and look at them this season. Swapping qpr, norwich and swansea for west ham,b'ham and blackpool didn't dilute the league. Add in Soton and arguably it's stronger. This call to junk sam is purile and pointless. And no doubt comes from souls who otherwise lament other clubs for sacking managers before they have had a chance to get their feet under the table. The one thing west ham has lacked for decades is a manager capable of organising a squad and introducing stability; now we have one, who i believe is capable, people want to junk him and move on; to who? If he lasts the two seasons, i'll make my judgement then. You are talking like we have already blown it...i know you have tremendous prescient powers... But let's at least wait until the fat lady has finished her aria before the sack fat sam campaign gets underway. All this chopping and changing will get us nowhere. In grant and zolas case it was obvious they were clueless; sam still has the best win loss ratio of any manager we have employed- roll with it.

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  10. Is Fat Sam turning tranvestite mate? Your stat is very unfair. What would Allardyce's win ratio be in the Prem? Grant's was 100% against Championship teams.

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  11. Zola was useless? We finished top half one year under him and the 2nd we stayed up with bloody Ilan and Mido up front. Almost zero financial backing and we stayed int he prem with Zola. Now Sam got about 18-20 million to spend and what has it done? Nothing.

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  12. Kevin, despite my living on the other side of the pond and having to support this team from afar, I still bleed Claret & Blue. Drives my wife and kids crazy. And I am bitterly disappointed because in my view, Allardyce has failed at the basic qualities he promised. When he was hired, he clearly took a swipe at Grant (the worst we have ever had in my opinion) by saying his team would never blow a 2-0 lead. Well I dont think we have blown a 2-0 lead, but we have turned many 1-0 leads into 1-1 draws and a few draws into losses. He claims to be a manager that knows how to win games, but that hasn't panned out either. And to add salt to the wounds, he creates his own version of reality when not only supporters but even Tony Cottee and other pundits question his tactics. Tactics which he has used repeatedly, leading to those dropped points I mention above, and then calls everyone questioning him delusional.

    I was thrilled at his appointment. I thought it was as good as done that we would go straight back up. He created high expectations of the team and himself. He acted and spoke like it was a foregone conclusion we would be back in the PL in no time. And only a few weeks ago the idea of slipping to third seemed impossible. Yet here we are. Maybe my memory of July and August are wrong. And you are right that it is not over. We certainly CAN win in the playoffs. But I am reliving the loss to Palace in Cardiff a few years ago. And that sucked. Im sure you can punch a lot of holes in my case, but Im making it anyway.

    On an unrelated note, raise a glass of good wine for Georgio Chinaglia. He passed away this morning at his home in Florida. Did a lot for the sport in the USA.

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  13. Anony-mouse says,

    USA Dave- I had no idea he'd died- thanks for putting that right. Glass raised. He was a terrific little player and a character too. RIP.

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