Friday, 25 January 2013

Allardyce Discovers Facts Of Life

Life's tough. Poor Sam went in to the showroom to buy a Porsche and found that the seven hundred and fifty quid in his pocket wasn't enough. He tried his Northern bluster but the salesman wouldn't budge. He tried to have a word with an agent, not promising any backhanders of course, and there was still no deal.

"But I want a Porsche", Big Fat Sam complained. "No I NEED a Porsche. Why can't I have one?"

At this point, Dodgy Dave wandered past and signalled for Sam to come outside. "What do you want a Porsche for?" Dave asked. "I've got a sweet little motor on my forecourt now. One careful owner. Not many miles on the clock. Gears are a bit sticky. Head gasket may go any time soon, tyres could do with a bit more air, shock absorbers aren't the best, takes a bit of time to start in the morning, but when she's going she's a nice little runner and you only need her as a bit of a run around, it's not as if you're entering a Grand Prix. And at seven hundred nicker she's a snip!"

"But I really wanted a Porsche," Sam complains.

"Need's must," David replies. "So, what do you say to this lovely Cortina?"
at

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous25 January 2013 at 10:11

    Pedant in manchester writes ..

    Sam is NOT a northerner he's from the Black Country and thus a Midlander and it is no use saying well he lives north of Reading! The Midlands are the Midlands- Good Christ he even has a black country accent and quite a thick one! The the north starts at Junction 16 on the M6 and whatever the turn off is after Mansfield on the M1.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous25 January 2013 at 12:58

    Showing your ignorance once again armchair hammer. Notice the comments are flooding in too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous26 January 2013 at 18:18

    I like big Sam.He has destroyed your myth of fancy football.You might want to check where he is from ! NO northerner in him.

    MORON

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous27 January 2013 at 19:11

    3 comments? 4 including this one. People are hardly seeking you out as a fountain of footballing knowledge are they armchair? You don't go to any matches so you thereby forfeit your right to criticize. If you don't pay up,shut up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Deane27 January 2013 at 23:35

    if you haven't got a name your opinion doesn't count for shit Get the walrus headed northern bastard out of my club and I start paying again I will never pay money to watch a team managed by that northern hoofing anti football numpty

    ReplyDelete