Yossi Phone Home

So Israeli E.T. lookalike Yossi Benayoun phones home to his Mamma and asks how she is. "Yossi, my boy" she replies, "things are bad back home. Your father has been taken hostage and they are threatening to behead him. The house was pelted last night by a stone throwing mob and your sister was gang raped on her way home from the synagogue." Mamma Benayoun sobs down the phone before continuing, "Yossi, why in the name of Abram did you move us to Liverpool?"

Thieving Bleedin' Scousers!

Not content with hub caps, cars, credit cards and their own kids' tickets for the Champions League final, those bloody scousers are now trying to steal players. One million for Yossi? What a joke!