Hold the front page! Incredible news coming in from West Ham on transfer deadline day. We can exclusively reveal West Ham have signed....
Adriano?
Er no.
Joe Cole?
Not quite.
Anelka?
Just signed a contract extension so who knows, he might come in January.
Shorey then?
Nearly.
Then Barnes of Derby?
Too expensive I'm afraid.
Then who?
Heard of Camara?
Yes, he's not good enough for the Wigan team is he?
That's right! So Turds has managed to capture him on loan.
But he's not good enough for Wigan!
Exactly! Stroke of genius from Turds, he's found somebody nobody else wanted! Clever eh? And that's not all, we've signed a top international midfielder!
Really? Somebody from Italy?
Not quite.
From Brazil?
Close.
Argentina then?
Warm.
Columbia? Mexico?
Peru.
It's not Paddington is it?
Very funny!
But what about all the money we're supposed to have?
It's being used to build a new treatment room!
Showing posts with label speed cameras. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speed cameras. Show all posts
Saturday, 1 September 2007
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Trading Places
So, is Teddy trying to swap his gong? CBE for an MBE? CBE for an MBE?
Those cameras must be bloody good mustn't they if they can't tell Sherringham and Newton apart? How tall is Teddy? 6'1 / 6'2? How short is Newton, 5'6 / 5'7? Then there's the little matter than Teddy is white and Newton is black (except the end of his nose which has been known to be white in the past, allegedly!) Perhaps that's where Bobby Zamora comes in. Perhaps it's like in The Fly. Teddy gets in the car white, drives so fast his molecules rearrange into Zammo, then, as he slows down, he comes out the other side fully cooked as Newton.
What comedian came up with that Honours List I wonder? Was it Bernard Manning's passing shot before heading for the great stand up stage in the sky? Did I tell you the one about the two lesbian angels...or the big fat comedian who climbed the Stairway to Heaven only to discover that the doorman at the Pearly Gates is Jewish!
If Bob Monkhouse was dead, he'd be turning in his grave; for the time being, he's...dead. Isn't he?
Those cameras must be bloody good mustn't they if they can't tell Sherringham and Newton apart? How tall is Teddy? 6'1 / 6'2? How short is Newton, 5'6 / 5'7? Then there's the little matter than Teddy is white and Newton is black (except the end of his nose which has been known to be white in the past, allegedly!) Perhaps that's where Bobby Zamora comes in. Perhaps it's like in The Fly. Teddy gets in the car white, drives so fast his molecules rearrange into Zammo, then, as he slows down, he comes out the other side fully cooked as Newton.
What comedian came up with that Honours List I wonder? Was it Bernard Manning's passing shot before heading for the great stand up stage in the sky? Did I tell you the one about the two lesbian angels...or the big fat comedian who climbed the Stairway to Heaven only to discover that the doorman at the Pearly Gates is Jewish!
If Bob Monkhouse was dead, he'd be turning in his grave; for the time being, he's...dead. Isn't he?
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