Years back, when I worked for a housing developer, I was at a marketing conference in Stoke and the Managing Director of our Midlands Division challenged the design of one of the houses in the new range. "It's bloody ridiculous," he said in mock outrage. The Group Marketing Director demanded to know why. "Cos there's no bloody window in the bathroom!" came the reply in a heavy Birmingham accent. "So tell me, how the hell are they going to get the coal into the bath?"
The response from us Southern Softies was that it was bloody ridiculous building any new homes in Stoke, the whole place needed to be wiped from the face of the earth! What a dump!
So why on earth would Carlton Cole want to move away from London to play for Stoke City? Perhaps the lad is confused - he's not the brightest - and thinks they play in Stoke Newington!
And Carlton is the sensitive sort so how would he react to a naked Pulis challenging him in the showers after a game? I don't think he would get the arm round the shoulders treatment up there!
But if Stoke have £15m to spend and really want Carlton, then fair play, let them have him. That would signal the end of his fledgling England career of course but Cole may figure that Capello doesn't fancy him anyway. He had his chance and he blew it.
To be honest, I think it is much more likely that Carlton will swap one Claret and Blue kit for another and link up with ex Hammer James Collins rather than ex Hammered At the Bookies Matty Etherington. Playing for Villa, Cole might just revive his England career, although why O'Neill wants to replace one goal shy England striker with another is something of a mystery.
£15m would represent good business for West Ham, providing, of course, the funds are made available to buy a replacement! But the last time Stoke tried to buy an England striker from us, he announced his retirement two months later. Believe you me Carlton, that may be the better option!
I heard it was £12m and Kitson. No thank you!
ReplyDeletewe took 6 points off you but you think your better than us .ha ha
ReplyDeleteWhat a load of cobblers!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he wants to go to Stoke because they are a better team? I like West Ham actually, but the reality is you barely escaped regulation. Maybe that changes with Zola gone, but the difference between these two clubs is mimimal at best in terms of the standings last two years(in fact they were better), and Stoke look like they are trying to go places
ReplyDeleteThis is a load of crap tbh, and i know which club i'd rather play for as it seems to me like stoke have surpassed west ham in current years. But to say that stoke on trent should be wiped off the face of earth is just too far, i know its a shithole but isnt england in general?
ReplyDeleteYou Hammers are way to full of yourselves.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourselves these questions.
Are we in debt?
Is the club going forward?
Did we have a good season?
Are we living on past glories ?
Now relate the same questions to Stoke City.
I think the conclusion may surprise you.
Stoke have no history and play anti football but effective football. We were awful last season and should have gone down but with zola going we will improve. How many neutrals like stoke??? None really
ReplyDeletestoke are all fat poofters
ReplyDeleteStoke are going places and West Ham are a joke. That's probably why he wants to go there u numpty. Stoke took 6pts of the Hammers last year and are much more financially sound. How you can knock Etherington is a joke. He would walk into your side now. You look like right mugs for letting him go. And who is to say he wont get England call up . Shawcross did and will again!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I mean why would he swap the beauty of the East End for a dump like Stoke?
ReplyDeleteEtherington almost got considered for the England squad b4 his injury at ManCity, hes revived his career & enjoying football again. He's scoring & in the prem top 10 with assists.Thats what players that come to Stoke can have. Tony brings out the best of every player in his squad. The fans bleed red n white n let the players no who wear r strip that it must b worn with pride. The Mighty Potters are going places. Neway, u can shuv ur f***ing bubbles up ur arse, as i foresee religation for the cockney claret n blue.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA Typical West Ham, U just escape religation yet still believe that your better than teams which u aint!
ReplyDeleteStoke have no history? They produced a key player in the history of world football from their own backyard. And that's a creative player, not just a stopper.
ReplyDeleteI've lived near Upton Park for a few years now, and despite the new Westfield being built on your doorstep, Newham is easily the worst place I have ever visited. I can't believe you have the audacity to call Stoke a shit hole. As for the football, well Stoke seem like they are progressing, money in the bank and stable management and owner - do WHU have any of those things? NO
ReplyDeleteYes, but Newham is in a place called LONDON.
ReplyDeleteI thought Devil Wears Prada was a better film than Green Street.
ReplyDeleteThat officially makes our houses better than yours...
why would cole leave a big club like west ham to go to a small club like stoke. yes west ham did have a terrible season last year but they will easily finnish above stoke this year. every one knows west ham underachieved big time last year. and just for the record im a liverpool fan. ps just telling you how i see it. i have nothing against either club.
ReplyDeletecole will not go to stoke trust me.
ReplyDeleteIt doesnt matter if its in london, london is in england, stoke is in england, so by your reasoning stoke and london are the same place. Stoke are moving foward west ham are going the opposite way, you dont have any funds for new players so what makes you think you will be better next season. any funds you make from sales will go straight into sullivan and golds pockets or to decrease the debt which a shoddy management method has caused
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad, bitter little "article" this is. Get over yourselves
ReplyDeleteLOL Don't become an estate agaent will you? 3 bedroom flat in Kensington? Couldn't value it at more than £100,000 because that's what it would fetch in Stoke.
ReplyDeleteDo you even know anything about the area AROUND Stoke?
ReplyDeleteThe Staffordshire and Cheshire countryside is something you could only dream of in your dump of a city.
Remember that team from Manchester called 'United'? Did you know most of the players live within 20 minutes of Stoke in Cheshire? You need to learn a thing or two about geography north of Watford!
you west ham fans live in la-la land . . . . look at where you finished compared to the Potters. Come to think of it, if you hadn't bent the rules with Tevez, you'd be in Division Two where you belong.
ReplyDeletestoke are at the top of their level now. it can only go down hill from now on. everyone knows stoke are only in the premiership to make the numbers up. whereas west ham are a big club with a massive fanbase who will be playing in a brand new 60 thousand stadium soon and be competing with the big boys like west ham should be. its a no brainer really. end of discussion.
ReplyDelete"stoke are at the top of their level now. it can only go down hill from now on. everyone knows stoke are only in the premiership to make the numbers up. whereas west ham are a big club with a massive fanbase who will be playing in a brand new 60 thousand stadium soon and be competing with the big boys like west ham should be. its a no brainer really. end of discussion."
ReplyDeletePlease tell me this was sarcasm? If it is genuine its the most deluded post I have ever read!!!
why are stoke fans coming on here for. west ham are much bigger then you. west ham are in a different league. you stoke fans should stay at your own level and look at port vale sites not ours.
ReplyDeletei have got a chimerney up here in scummy stoke if you barra boys fancy a mokey????????????? mugs
ReplyDeletePMSL - because the area around upton park is such a lovely place to live!
ReplyDeleteDo you think that Cole lives right next to your ground in a terraced or do you think he would live somewhere like Wychwood Park as most of the Stoke pro's seem to.
You finished on 35 lousy points which would normally see you well relegated, your board have said you are open to offers for all but one player and to coin a phrase from a fellow stokie, your main shareholder is a Dildo selling Dr Who crossdresser!
Play for debt free stoke on a secure contract, live in the heart of britain in the countryside, brand new training facilities at Clayton Wood, easy commute to anywhere in the UK or West Ham.
Mmmmmm.........
Anyone knows that the only reason Matty Etherington ended up in Stoke was because he needed to be somewhere quiet, where not much happens, as part of his gambling rehab! Simple!
ReplyDelete...and the fact that an out-of-form West Ham star, with big problems outside the game, can waltz straight into the Stoke side and end up as Player of the Season speaks volumes!! NOT because the biggest chav in the Premiership has worked miracles with him, no...because he is West Ham!
Cole isn't desperate to get away, and if he does have higher aspirations, I'm sure Stoke isn't one of them!
...and before you start biggin' up Ryan Shawcross 10:12, why don't you ask Aaron Ramsey what he thinks of him?! Maybe HE won't hold the same opinion as you?!
Be fair Shaun, I think Shawcross was unlucky with that tackle. There was no malice and I saw Noble make two or three challenges last season that could have broken a leg if fractionally mistimed. I hope Shawcross has an England future personally.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with West Ham fans and all this talk of being a big club? You're not. You're just a small-time local team in the arse-end of London and with all your troubles off the field, it's not likely you're improving anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteShawcross was 'unlucky'?! Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but I think Ramsey was the 'unfortunate' one HF! I'm not going to incriminate myself here, but I have an opinion on it. All I'll say is a lot of 'mistimed' challenges, whether they result in serious injury or not, get yellow cards. Shawcross saw red because the referee saw the severity of both incident and aftermath! You hope Shawcross has an England future?...well I hope Ramsey still has a future in the game!?
ReplyDeleteHe was a fraction late IMO because Ramsey was so skilful.
ReplyDeletei know one thing west ham are a lot bigger then stoke.
ReplyDeleteLets be honest now lads, both we both live in shit holes!!!! difference is one is a shit hole with a football team on the up and the other is a shit hole with a football team that is gonna be ruined by a pair of dildo selling, velvet jacket wearing dickheads!!!! Good luck in the relagation battle Hammers!!!
ReplyDeletewest ham are going no where.
ReplyDeleteThey think they are a big club pretending they are as big as spurs, chelsea, arsenal.
up to their neck in debt and living on the old 'west ham won the world cup' chessnut when things are going badly for them.
West ham is a shithole.
scum fans.
stoke are quietly back on the up.
Plenty of time for us yet.
Can't say the same about west sham, and everybody can see that.
stoke fans make me laugh. wat stoke players would get in the west ham team because i wouldn't have any of them. they are a crap little club that no one cares about with a bunch of rejects that no other club would want and they play the worst football ive ever seen and their fans get excited when they get a throw on. how sad is that. the quicker they get relegated the better the premiership will be. all stoke do is make the numbers up in the premiership. and thats all they will ever do until they go down which will probably be next season.
ReplyDeletedid chelsea beat stoke 8-0 last season lol
ReplyDeleteYou cockney spivs have scrapped and cheated your way to Premiership status. Bigged up and backed by your media darling friends. You don't know an honest club when you see one.
ReplyDeleteHonest as the day is long. And in Iceland in mid winter, the days are pretty short!
ReplyDeleteThe article heading this thread displays arrogance, bitterness, delusion, and envy in equal measure.
ReplyDeleteI was actually glad that West Ham stayed up, always quite liked them in a 'couldn't be bothered kind of way', but it's about time some of their fans realised that it is they who are just making up the numbers, barely scraping to safety, flogging off their players, and presided over by the two most repugnant peddlers of cheap trash imagineable. If it wasn't for Scott Parker West Ham would be playing chumpionship football next season. The current state of play should make you realise just where you are in the premier pecking order. You have to sell your team, we don't. You can't afford a 3 million pound player whilst we can pay 15 million if we choose to. As for areas. The East End is a comedy joke, all pearly kings and wannabe del boys, a shithole. Stoke is surrounded by glorious countryside and less than half an hour away from one of the millionaire estates where the TOP players choose to live. The sooner London falls foul of the inevitable flooding the better so it gets a wash. Looking forward to another six points next season.
Mr Sausage
stoke are small and shit. always have been always will be.
ReplyDeleteTbh stoke are on the up
ReplyDeleteand if you look at some players such as fuller and etherington, they would easily get into the west ham squad
west ham fans be honest, when/if you saw fullers goal at upton park would you say that it was awful and involved terrible football?
Same with the game against you at stoke, so the poitn that im making, in both games where stoke have played West ham this season, stoke have played reasonably good football and have 'outplayed' them quite easily. Just think about that.
anon 18:04 lets see if you can do it again next season.
ReplyDelete