Sunday, 8 May 2011

How Keane, Levy and Redknapp Plotted Our Demise!

It's not my idea, but it is a delicious conspiracy theory. As Levy fumes about the Olympic Stadium and 'Arry listens, his dismissal by West Ham still festering, a Guinness swilling Robbie Keane staggers past the office singing  "Irish Rover". 'Arry interrupts Levy and says, "I have a cunning plan".

Robbie is called into the room and water splashed over his face to bring him out of his drunken stupor. 'Arry now says, "So then Robbie, how do you fancy earning a million pound bonus for doing what you do best, missing open goals?" Robbie slurs that it sounds fine by him and Levy gets straight on the blower to Sullivan and says, "Let's let bygones be bygones, you can have Keane on loan until the end of the season."

So Robbie is the secret weapon, a fifth columnist sent to West Ham to destroy the club from within. Three sitters missed in a row and with West Ham on the doorstep of the Championship, Robbie is well on his way to earning that bonus!
at

6 comments:

  1. Rab8 May 2011 at 09:39

    Alternatively, we're a badly managed club and have been for some years. We have a very average manager and a team with too many non-committed players. I'll grant you that the conspiracy theory of West Ham's sad demise is more interesting though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 May 2011 at 10:20

    Additionally, "don't score Robbie - West Ham will go down and we will get Parker" - HR

    ReplyDelete
  3. Philip Czaplowski8 May 2011 at 13:46

    The fact that the team can play like champions for 10 minutes in each game, means that the manager is crap. It's HIS job to get them up and about, and he has consistently failed to do that.

    Sadly, I fear this will be a repeat of the last time we went down: players who've destroyed us will move on to multi-million dollar contracts elsewhere...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8 May 2011 at 16:30

    So depressing being a West Ham fan. Disappointment after disappointment for years now. Let's hope we can turn our impending relegation into something positive by clearing out the expensive can't be bothered/constantly injured/useless players (Upson, Dyer, LBM, Cole etc) and totally crap manager. Sick of the BS weekly emails from the Hang Dog Frog Face via the club and can't wait to see the back of him. Poor, poor choice by Gollivan.

    Paolo Di Canio please.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Deane8 May 2011 at 22:59

    great choice by Gollivan carried their business model through to a succesful half term When we get back up that'll be plan accomplished but the praise will be on a young dynamic umm cheap manager and then it will be bye bye to him too

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chunky9 May 2011 at 10:34

    Totally ridiculous HF, but i have to admit that did cross my mind when Robbie stuck out his minds phantom foot and let the ball roll tamely past him.

    More likely however that he is just a piss poor striker being badly managed though.

    ReplyDelete