Sullivan Explains Too Much!

I complained yesterday that there was nothing to write about, and Sullivan is clearly attuned to the sense of white noise surrounding the Boleyn. Not good for business that. Season ticket sales aren't boosted by inertia. No news is bad news.

He probably put a call through to Brady first. "Fancy getting your tits out in the middle of the Olympic Stadium? No? Is your figure up to one of those beach volley ball outfits? You don't think so? Bugger."

Another call to Gold. "How about we bid for Becks. Ring up a lookalike agency, get a pic of a Becks carrying the Olympic Torch into the Boleyn? You don't think people will buy it? Damn. Tevez? I know, we've done it to death. Kaka? Too much? Even at his age? I can see the headlines now, 'Karren Brady Gets Her First Brazilian', 'Brady Reveals Old Brazilian', 'Brady's Brazilian Gets Sweaty In Training', 'Allardyce Delighted With Brady's Brazilian'. Sorry Goldy, getting carried away there."

"So what the fcuk do we talk about? Hang on, I've got it! I'll explain how we bid for Carroll and how we were deadly serious. Doesn't fit with the wage cap call earlier this summer I know but who expects consistency from Upton Park? I'll leave out the bit about Captain Kev calling Andy to tell him, under no circumstances, to join us. That would have blown our pension pot from selling the Boleyn wouldn't it? I could tie it in with the Jarvis story. Try to spin Sam's style of football in a positive way. Exciting football. Lots of crosses, accurate crosses so the fans don't crucify us! Jarvis delivers the accurate crosses, Andy heads them home."

"Mind you, I still like the Brady Brazilian headlines. What's Ronaldinho up to these days? Or how about Gomez? 'Brady's Brazilian Stopper', sounds like a front bottom plug to me! "