Call My Bluff Over Olympic Stadium

Anybody remember the programme? A decidedly worm eaten Robert Robertson presides as Boris, Coe and Brady offer definitions for the word "abortion".

Cue Boris: "It is something all pregnant unmarried women should be obliged to commit to, and all women married to men earning an income of less than £50,000 per annum should consider. It is also the design for the Olympic stadium which has been one huge balls up from the beginning."

Cue Lord Coe: "Also known as an Ovett, it is a premature termination of a dual gold medal attempt in the Olympics. Alternatively, it is any plan to use the Olympic Stadium for anything other than athletics for which, outside of the Olympics (which will not return to London for a generation at least) there is no interest whatsoever. As a Tory, I should be committed to commercial practicality but that would be to abort all concept of legacy."

Cue Brady: "Abortions are utterly unnecessary if you use battery powered devices (sold by Ann Summers) which offer all the thrills of erotic stimulation with none of the drawbacks. Alternatively, it is what should have happened to Avram Grant or it is an Olympic stadium designed without retractable seating."

Frank Muir consults with his team before replying, "Can we just cut the bollocks, so averting the need for an abortion, and award the stadium to West Ham United once and for all? Some of us will be dead before this ever reaches a definite conclusion!"