With every West Ham fan in the land weeping in humiliation, joint chairmen and owners David Gold and David Sullivan are rumoured to be planning to offer free seats at Upton Park to everybody wearing a Claret and Blue scarf until the end of the season.
Speaking after the 6-0 reverse at Manchester City, a source close to Mr Gold explained: "We really can't ask the fans to pay to watch this crap any longer."
"It's bad enough that they have been spending hard earned money watching a team without a forward line, but we felt that £50 per ticket represented reasonable value for as long as we had a defence and six players in midfield; and for as long as those players were playing for the shirt."
"However, following the debacle at Nottingham Forest and the humiliation at Manchester City, we accept that there is no longer a team to speak of. In fact, eleven concrete bollards would have provided more meaningful opposition for the Forest and City boys than the dejected, gutless rabble that Allardyce sent on to the field."
"Quite how we were foolish enough to spend £11m on Jarvis, £6m on Maiga, £5m on Downing and £15m on a crocked Carroll is anybody's guess. We trusted the judgement of our manager and that has proved to be very foolish. But we are stuck with him because we can't afford to sack him and no other manager in his right mind would agree to take on the squad that Sam has built."
"But let's look on the bright side, Princess Brady has been awarded a CBE in the Honours list which tells you something - probably that Cameron supports Spurs!"
"So come along to Upton Park for free and cheer on Princess Brady if nothing else. I'm sure she will do a twirl at half time and may even give the fans a flash of her thigh. And despite the cellulite, even that promises be more exciting than anything our players are likely to do out on the pitch!"
11 comments:
Free tickets, no chance they would have to pay me! They pay BFS and he can't even watch the shit his assembled. His got to go!
What people seem to be forgetting is it is only half time and City still need to make a daunting visit to Uptown Park. There is still plenty of time to bring Warnock in, turn it around and sort this mess out once and for all.
The man is a promotion specialist.
As a hammers supporter all my life - thanks absolutely brilliant!
Could not agree more.
And with regard to the unbelievable signing of a centre back from the third division have the details of the deal crossed anyone's mind? The selling club is owned by a Welshman and managed by one of his kinsfolk. The buying club is co-owned by a Welshman and the player himself spent years playing in Wales. Add in the fact that the current West Ham manager "likes a deal" almost as much as the delightful Henry Redknapp, along with a few "accommodating" agents and hey presto: They all do very nicely out of a ridiculous deal paid for by blindly loyal West Ham fans!!
Wake up people and stop being mugged off all the time!! Stop giving them your hard-earned money.
Ha how sad for you. Think every watford and leeds fans are pissing there selfs laughing at you now? Still there's always next year in a half empty ground in the championship for you. This has made my year, you sad little prick!
Come on, really. The club forfeited the FA Cup by playing kids (out of position) and then played last night without our centre backs. Roger Johnson arriving the day before, with George (a left-back and not match fit) was never going to hold out against Man City. Plus I think every player was told again not to risk injury and back off.
I'll start complaining about Allardyce once we play premiership games with our centre backs.
Anonymous, That's the whole point we know it's amusing and do laugh at ourselves. Unlike the Leeds and Watford fans you mention. As for a half empty ground in the championship I think you will find from previous seasons we support our club no matter what and the stadium will be full even against shit teams Like Watford and Leeds. COYI
Do people not realise this is a spoof article. Even in the championship West Ham get 30k+ fans at Upton Park which is where we'll be playing in the Championship next season.
Don't talk out of ur arse coyi
Total load of shit story
LOL 0800 I can feel your pain, brother. Let it out!! :)
What is your view on bringing in Warnock with the objective of getting us promoted at the first attempt?
Post a Comment