Irony (Which Bush thinks borders Iraq)

So Reo-Choker is departing. I have only one thing to say:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No Villa for Reo-Choker

What's this? Villa aren't so keen on Reo-Choker now? So, Nigel, that's Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Spurs, Newcastle and Villa who have thought, then thought better of signing you. Wonder why that is? Perhaps it's the pouty face? Never mind mate, Sunderland or Birmingham might yet express an interest! Alternatively, you might just face up (hard with that pouty droop) to a few home truths: starting with, you're bloody lucky to be at West Ham!

Now shut up and put up! Give us eight goals from midfield next season and who knows, a mid table team might express an interest!

Nigel Misso-Choker

As patriotic as I am, I must confess to cheering when Nigel Reo -I'm a misunderstood superstar - Choker failed to tuck away his penalty in the shoot out. Shame it was Anton's miserable effort that eventually led to our elimination because I'm sure there would have been knees up Mother Brown parties all the length of Green Street had Reo-Choker's pathetic attempt led directly to our elimination.

Nobody loves me at West Ham! Nobody loves you anywhere in England now Nigel!!!

Come on Villa, let's see the colour of your money! £8m for a guy who sidefoots a pass to the keeper in a penalty shoot out? They must be barmy!