Bill Brewer Considering Compensation Claim

Bill Brewer is the latest to join the queue to sue West Ham over the Carlos Tevez affair. Brewer, who claims to have lost his job as a toilet cleaner because of mental illness following the relegation of Sheffield United, is confident that his claim has as much merit as that of Warnock and his players.

Brewer, a resident of Norwich, told journalists from the East Anglia Times that the relegation of Sheffield United had sent him into a deep depression. "I am not a Sheffield United supporter myself," he said, "but I do believe in the importance of fair play. There has to be the same rules for everybody and common standards, otherwise where do we stand?"

Visibly trembling as he spoke, Brewer added, "Look at me, even now I am a nervous wreck. I lost my centre of gravity when this happened. I couldn't believe it. How could the Premier League turn a blind eye to a third party agreement that might have forced West Ham not to pick a player on the instruction of somebody not connected with the club? On that basis Manchester United could have insisted that Everton didn't pick their first choice keeper for a crucial title deciding fixture against the boys from Manchester. If that was allowed, United could conceivably come back from two goals down and win the fixture based on the errors of a teenage replacement."

Sipping from a can of Tesco Value Lager, Brewer continued, "I was perfectly happy in my job until the Tevez affair broke. From that point onwards it was as if my life had stopped, nothing mattered any more, nothing made any sense. So what if there were skid marks on a pan, if West Ham could flout the rules like this, what was the point? Within days I found myself unable to work. In fact, even now, I find it almost impossible to leave the house except to go down the pub."

And Brewer is not alone in preparing a claim. "I know of others," he said. "From what I've been told, West Ham can expect similar claims from Jan Stewer, Peter Gurney, Peter Davy, Dan'l Whiddon, Harry Hawke, Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all!"

Was Noble Nobbled? Blame Basildon Irons!

(The following has been lifted from the mordant org. Bas has always been an intelligent contributor willing to risk the ire of the Klan. I hope you don't mind me carrying this Bas, given I am banned from the site it is the only way I can engage in the debate with you! I attach a response and hope others join the debate.)

Mark Noble burst onto the scene in the most emphatic way and, in my opinion, without him the great escape would never have happened. He was the real driving force behind those great performances that secured our Premier League survival; but, for me, ever since the start of last season something has been missing, he just simply has not cut it.

Now before you all start throwing abuse about me being negative and how he’s one of us and we should leave him alone (all that stuff has been thrown at me many times before on westhamfans.org) just have a real hard think about this player. He doesn’t score goals, he doesn't assist, he’s not a destroying midfielder who prevents goals and his tackling comes with a "Will Break A Leg Soon" warning; so tell me, what is he actually good at?

I think he has gone backwards in his development and for such a young player he appears terribly slow with no burst of pace whatsoever. This brings me to the point where I’m slightly confused. When Curbishley brought him through, he seemed to have all the technical attributes, apart from natural pace, needed to become a West Ham great; yet time after time I’m left totally frustrated and bemused by his performances.

In those early oh so heady days, Curbishley seemed to give him a ‘Steven Gerrard’ level of freedom, apparently sending him onto the pitch with a "just go out and play" instruction. When he did this he was top notch and the enthusiasm he showed, allied to his natural talent, was exceptional. Come the start of last season, however, he seemed withdrawn, depressed almost, with all his creative spark extinguished. It was as if Curbishley had told him to adopt a more responsible defensive role, not to get drawn too far forward, not to gamble and risk being caught out of position. Whether or not this is actually the case we will probably never know but that’s how it seemed. Like everyone under Curbishley, he picked up niggling injuries and his season never really took off. It was like a lost year, a year in the wilderness, with Noble searching for the player he once had been.

The start of this season was much the same and then enter Gianfranco Zola. I really expected someone like Zola to get the best out of Noble. I thought he would liberate him, release him from the shackles of self doubt and get him performing with his old vim and vigour. But that hasn’t happened has it? Where are those lung-busting runs into the opposition's box? Where are those fearsome tackles when tracking back to our own goal? Where are those set piece deliveries? Where are those emotional, wholesome gutsy performances that turned a team of down and outs into a team of winners, a team of fighters, a team with pride? Where has it all gone wrong for this boy?

We know he can do the business, we’ve all seen it, but for whatever reason it just isn’t happening. I’m interested to know if anyone has the same views as me but please, if all you’re going to do is yell insults, don’t bother wasting your time. I’m not having a dig, I just want to know if anyone else thinks the same as me and to hear other views on this. Is it mismanagement or is Noble simply not good enough?

Sears of Sorrow

I blogged before the game about my concerns over Sears and I'm afraid I saw nothing last night to suggest that the kid has what it takes to make it at Premiership level. Yes he ran around, yes he closed down West Brom defenders, yes he managed a shot but, be honest, did he ever look like scoring? It is a sobering thought that a whole year has now passed since his solitary goal in West Ham colours.

Where-as Collison and Tomkins have shown genuine, and in Collison's case remarkable, progress this season, Sears has gone backwards. The desperate amongst us are suggesting that Sears looked a better player alongside Ashton, but they were clearly not at the Macclesfield game when Sears huffed and puffed for sixty or so embarrassing minutes alongside Beano before Turds called time on his night and sent Cole on as a replacement. Immediately our attacking play had a new potency, just as with the arrival of Di Michele in the Cup game away to Boro. Now Macclesfield were bottom of the old Fourth Division at the time, winless, clueless and there for the taking. Sadly, poor Freddie looked out of his depth against even this most modest of opposition.

Last night there was a huge gap between Di Michele and Sears for most of the night. The Italian dropped deeper and deeper in search of possession and Sears hung the wrong side of the last defender, repeatedly being caught offside on the rare occasions we progressed ten or so yards inside West Brom's half. Again you do have to wonder about both the striking instincts of the lad and his intelligence when journey men defenders can catch him out so easily by stepping out.

The fact is, Sears has now been on the pitch for a total of 832 minutes (not counting injury time) without scoring a goal. Do the maths and that is nine full games plus some. Now that in itself isn't a disaster as Cole shows, but what really concerns me is that apart from one effort away to Sunderland, when he should have done better, he hasn't even looked like scoring. Yes Cole can be profligate when through one on one with the keeper but at least he gets into the position in the first place. Why is it that Cole, a target man who drops deep to link the play, can engineer openings in almost every game, yet Sears, an out and out striker who offers very little outside of the final third, has never once burst clear of the opposition back line since that debut goal?

Hopefully it is just confidence. I watched him during the warm up last night and was struck by the utter lack of conviction when taking warm up shots. There was an awkwardness, an embarrassment, a fear of missing in front of the watching thousands - and that was when it didn't matter. The kid needs a goal but we can't keep waiting and hoping. I called last night as make or break for Sears and unfortunately he looked broken. Maybe, just maybe, playing on the break at Blackburn will suit him better. But he really is in the last chance saloon now - and with his baby face there isn't even the prospect of drowning his sorrows!

West Ham United For Sale. Great Investment Opportunity!

According to some reports the figure to settle the Tevez affair is £10million, others put it at £15m, others still set the figure at £25m. All are in agreement that the settlement is to be spread over a number of years, with some claiming a complicated sliding scale based on how many pickled onions Noble's Nanna eats with her Boxing Day cold turkey and creamy mash. But at the end of the day, the figure we have agreed with Shafting United doesn't matter, what we should be focused on is that Gudmundsson is no longer in control of what happens: the future of our club is now in the hands of five merchant bankers!

Now in cockney rhyming slang, merchant bankers have been running our club for as long as we can remember. I mean, how can any club side win the World Cup yet struggle to hold their own in the old First Division? What well run club would sell Martin Peters to the local enemy and take Bobby Moore's drunken pal in part exchange? What Board of sentient beings would part with Allen, Cottee, Ferdinand, Lampard, Carrick, Cole, Johnson, Uncle Tom Cobblers et all?

Who, other than a complete merchant banker, would have signed Tevez and then tried to pretend that there was nothing dodgy about the deal? Two world superstars join West Ham United for free! Please! Minder has only just returned to our TV screens but down Green Street, Arthur Daley's Dodgy Deals had taken on an international flavour some three years back! "No really Mr Chisholm everything is kosher, the boys just wanted a team to play for so we gave them their chance. Knocked off? Mr Chisholm, please, how could you suggest such a thing? Look, pull down their shorts and they've got 'Property of West Ham United tatooed on their arses!' "

But that is all in the past and incompetent as they may have been, the old decision makers were only metaphorical or rhyming slang bankers. The worry now is that the future is genuinely in the hands not of merchant bankers by name, but merchant bankers by motivation. Gudmundsson has debts and it is the duty of five faceless debt collectors to recover as much of that debt as they possibly can. Now tell me, will they be interested in the motives of any of the would be buyers? What if there is a Venture Capitalist out there somewhere whose bollocks have not been shrivelled up in a jacuzzi of toxic debt?

How much would the club be worth if the assets were liquidised? How many flats could you build on the corner of Green Street and the Barking Road? How much could be raised from the sale of Cole, Green, Upson, Parker, Collison, Behrami, Ashton and co? I'm not sure how the figures stack up against a £100million asking price but one thing is for sure, guaranteeing football of any kind, never mind Premiership football, will not be at the top of the priority list of the money recovery merchants.

So if anybody spots a helicopter flying over the Boleyn Ground in coming weeks, do us all a favour and send up a ground to air missile if it carries the Barratt livery!

A Can of Worms

Have we just opened the biggest can of worms in the history of football by agreeing an out of court settlement with Shafting United? Yes, their claim has been put to bed but, by admitting wrong doing and culpability, have we simply declared open season for the World and his wife to claim compensation at our expense?

Warnock has already gobbed off, but there's no surprise there. Apparently, single handedly, he built the mighty empire that was Sheffield United and, single handedly, Tevez razed it to the ground. Had it not been for Tevez, Warnock, it seems, would now be managing Real Madrid and England simultaneously instead of trying to squeeze Palace into the Fizzy Pop playoffs. The greatest self publicist since Brain Clough has been robbed of the mantle of Best Manager Since Old Big Head and must be due what, £30million in compensation?

But if Warnock is due a pay day, what about the players? How cruel was their fate to be relegated from the Premiership despite amassing a mighty 38 points over a whole season? These footballing gods battled their way to 10 victories over a 38 game season and scored a breathtaking 32 goals, almost one a game, a whole eight of which were netted away from home! Never has the Premiership seen their compare! How mighty were the fallen? How great and unjust was their wrong? Those poor wronged souls, condemned to a career outside the Premiership for clearly a transfer based on their Premiership pedigree was always out of the question! Surely a payment of £30million is the very least that each can expect in the circumstances.

But why stop at the players? What about the fans? Imagine the emotional trauma endured as a result of the club's utterly unmerited relegation. For two years now, Blades fans have been denied the opportunity to see their players kicking Premiership players up into the air. Surely every man, woman and child in the red and white stripes side of Sheffield deserves a minimum payment of, let's say, £100,000?

And why stop at the fans? What about all those dogs kicked by their angry owners in the days following the club's Premiership demise? Dogs have rights too and as West ham could soon find to their cost, every dog has his day! Ten grand and a packet of Winalot to every pooch must be a fair and equitable settlement surely.

And so it goes on. Don't Charlton have a claim? Who knows, had they stayed ahead of us in the table, they might have found the reserves to battle their way to safety. And Fulham and Wigan could have finished a place higher too. Blackburn would have pipped Bolton into Europe had they not lost to us but then again Bolton would have finished above Everton had they not been slain by Tevez at Upton Park but then again Everton would have finished above Tottenham had they not suffered the same cruel fate. And what about Arsenal? They would have finished above Liverpool had Tevez, cleverly disguised as Robert Green, not kept out fifteen million shots on our goal at the Emirates. And then there's all those managers, and all those players and all those fans and all those dogs. Just think, if it wasn't for Tevez, Mini Me Sammy Lee would still be the manager of Bolton Wanderers!

We have only seen the tip of the iceberg my friends. Before you know it, Gordon Brown will be blaming Tevez for the collapse of the world banking system. A final settlement in the Tevez affair? This may just be the beginning!