West Ham Fight Club target Liverpool's Sterling as well as Downing & QPR's Barton?

Never mind bruising the football using Allardyce's lump it long tactics, it's looking like West Ham are following Hull City Tiger's example, by seeking a name change to West Ham Fight Club.

We already have Andy Carroll and Ravel Morrison on the books, so just imagine what it will be like if we sign serial thug Barton, alleged girl friend beater Raheem Sterling (on loan) and Stewart Downing, who was arrested in January after an alleged assault!

Add in two alleged rapists who we were rumoured to be trying to sign, and it's not a very pretty picture is it?

West Ham Fight Club would work quite well as a name with Allardyce in charge and would signal a complete break with our soft bellied past and, whilst we are about it, we could perhaps adopt the name, the Boxing Academy of Football!

QPR's Barton to West Ham, Noble to Sunderland?

West Ham fans who have campaigned against Noble for years may be about to get their just deserts with rumours that we have revived interest in signing Joey Barton. The deal would only make sense if Allardyce is considering cashing in on Noble.

Di Canio, of course, has seen a lot of Noble, watching West Ham games over the years. He understands Noble's qualities and knows that he is a leader on the pitch. Allardyce has been a fan up until now, but he has worked with Barton before so it is hard to dismiss the story out of hand.  That said, we have been linked with Barton more often than we have been linked with Beckham, so this may still be lazy journalism. I hope so!

Just imagine Barton, Carroll and Morrison in the same dressing room. Never mind Hull City Tigers, we could rebrand as West Ham Fight Club or West Ham Total C**TS.

Of course, the logical move would be for Barton to link up with Di Canio at Sunderland. They are both big on fascist salutes after all!

Will John Terry offer his condolences to former Hammer, Sunderland and QPR man Anton Ferdinand?

How the not so mighty have fallen! I admit to defending Anton when he was a West Ham player but I couldn't believe what Blunderland paid for him, and it remains hugely ironic that Curbishley walked because the Board pocketed absurd amounts of dosh from the sale of Pug and McCartney. Nani was clueless when it came to recruitment, but when it came to disposal, his record wasn't at all bad!

Anton's career went backwards fast at Sunderland, not helped by being played at right back, left back and in midfield, but that didn't stop QPR shelling out for him - but then QPR bought anything that could move didn't they? Or not move in the case of Green at corners!

Anton's first game under 'Arry's gaze saw him come on at Old Trafford with QPR on course for a shock result. As soon as his boots touched the turf, the Mancs scored before adding another two in the remaining minutes. I said then that Ferdinand would never play again for the Hula Hoops and I was almost right, with Redknapp quickly dispatching his turkey to Turkey. And now his inflated contract has been terminated with extreme prejudice.

And talking extreme prejudice, Anton will for ever be remembered for throwing his toys out of the pram when John Terry said something not very nice to him. Spying an opportunity to displace Terry from the England captaincy so big brother could wear the armband again, Ferdinand made a black pudding out of a little bad blood, and destroyed team England in the process. But why would the Ferdinands worry about that ahead of a major international championship?

So where now for Anton? An extended stay in Turkey perhaps? I'm sure Terry will be on the phone offering his condolences, calling it a "F***ing black day for English football" and pointing out that 'Arry might have made a mistake because football isn't a "F***ing black and white game" and expressing the hope that Redknapp will get a "F***ing black eye" for sacking Anton.

Any abiding memories of Anton in Claret and Blue, apart from that fantastic goal at Fulham?

Downing from Liverpool? Will we never learn?

Dear God, let's hope the rumour is wrong. Why the hell would any club pay £6m for that perennial underachiever?

OK, I accept that we could do with some more pace in the team, but the guy is approaching 30 and has never been anything other than an ordinary player. In many ways, he embodies the demise of Liverpool FC, a mediocre player who would never have got anywhere near their squad during the great years. Like Milner, he has far too many England caps; in fact, one international cap is one too many.

Yes, as a kid at Miserablebrough he looked half decent, but his potential has never been realised and it was an act of gross folly when Liverpool forked out a fortune to buy him.

Of course, the big concern must be that money is being spent to strengthen an area of the team that does not especially need strengthening. We have Cole, Jarvis, Vaz Te, Morrison, Maiga and Collison who can play wide; what we urgently need is a striker who can play down the middle!

Will West Ham consider a name change as well as a change of stadium?

Exciting developments at Hull, with the club moving with the times and changing their name to improve branding opportunities. Bored by old fashioned Hull City, Egyptian owner Assem Allam has decided to incorporate the club's nickname into the official title of the club. No doubt the City will be dropped altogether in due course, and Hull will become Hull Tigers or simply, The Tigers.

Wolverhampton Wanderers led the way some time ago, of course, with their name readily abbreviating to The Wolves and Tottenham are known as The Spurs. For some clubs, this new trend will be very simple to adopt. Should the Dildo Brothers adopt West Hammers, it may upset the purists, but The Hammers versus The Tigers has a feisty ring about it for the Sky marketing boys. Arsenal Gunners also works easily of course. Southampton Saints is another good one and the Glasgow clubs already operate as Rangers and Celtic.

However, for some clubs, the nickname doesn't have the right ring about it. Leeds Whites may be deemed racist or cowardly. Leicester Foxes has a mangy sound about it. Liverpool Reds works, I suppose, but isn't very exciting and other clubs might argue they have as much right to the name. Everton Toffees doesn't sound terribly imposing, does it? And Newcastle Toons sounds a bit too Looney Tunes even for a club that has a slapstick feel about it 99% of the time. As a contributor says below, the real nickname is The Magpies, and that could work I suppose but it doesn't really sound aggressive does it?

So what names might clubs adopt into the future? Leeds Cloggers works for me or the club could go the whole hog and opt for either Damned or Bastard United. Liverpool Cheats has a nice ring about it, given the commitment to retaining Suarez and the number of benefit claimants residing in the city.

How about Leicester? Well given the car park excavations, maybe the Leicester Hunchbacks could work. The Newcastle Barcodes also works, given all the players have a price under Ashley, or maybe the Newcastle Frogs would be more suitable given the composition of the squad and the way the team croaks every time they get a sniff of a trophy. Millwall? How about The Scum?

Any other suggestions? 

Braga defeat must force Sullivan's hand

OK, the result is irrelevant and the game will be very quickly forgotten - one of the most tepid matches in the history of football with a total exclusion zone around both goal mouths apparently agreed before kick off - but the 90 or so sterile minutes illustrated perfectly our desperate need for another striker to both back up and support Carroll.

Season after season we fail to address the most glaring weakness in the squad until either just before the window slams shut or in January. In recent seasons there has been a crying need for a left back which has been stubbornly ignored. We now have Boomtown Rat and the maturing Potts so that little hole has been filled.

The right backs - O'Brien and Demel - are not going to compete for Player of the Year any time soon, but between them they can do a job. And with Collins, Tomkins, Reid and Diara (if he stays), we seem to have enough cover at centre back. Defensively we were ok against both Sporting (who would never have scored without the referee's assists) and Braga, and that epic defensive display against Liverpool at Anfield is still fresh in my mind.

Jussi is a worry because he made two bad mistakes against Sporting but Adrian looked ok and a better understudy than the mugs we have given a salary to over the last few seasons. Boffin anybody? Nevertheless, a new keeper may be a priority come January.

The midfield still lacks pace. Noble screened the back four well against Sporting and his range of passing was, as usual, good. Diame, providing his heart is still in it, is a class act. Nolan is Nolan. He missed a sitter against Sporting but scored a typical sniffer's goal in the second half. He won't open up defences with his passing, and he certainly won't do it with his pace, but he is our most penetrative player going forward, even with Carroll in the team.

The most exciting news is the emergence of Morrison. He scored two superb goals against Sporting, and against Braga showed his willingness to take on players and the skill to force them into fouls. If he can keep his head straight, he could be a huge plus this season.

Collison is Collison, a perfect sub who will run his heart out and pop up in the box to score the odd important goal. What about Diarra? He should be good enough to hold down a place in the team but, as with Diame, so much will depend on his commitment to the cause.

Jarvis remains frustrating. The potential is there, and his completed crosses record is surprisingly good, but too often he drifts out of games. That said, with Carroll in the team, Jarvis is a must to supply the ammunition. Then there is Joe Cole. He put in a shift against Sporting and, crucially, looked fit. The skill is undeniable, the heart is beating for the fans and the club, so maybe, just maybe, he could be born again this season.

But up front? Vaz Te is too languid and Miaga too fitful. We need a striker and we need him now, not two or three games into the new season, especially with Carroll injured.

Get your finger out Sullivan! And make sure it is gripping the cheque book!

Unsporting Lisbon 2 West Ham 3 - A Ravelation!

Am I missing something? Sporting Lisbon are a pretty good team aren't they? And this was just a pre season friendly wasn't it? So how comes we outplayed them, scored three times without Carroll and Diame in the team, and the match was played in a ferocious fashion with the Lisbon coaching staff doing their nuts when we scored and when only 3 minutes added time was allowed at the end of the game?

Anybody who didn't see the game might think we were lucky but they couldn't be more wrong. Lisbon's first goal was a decidedly dodgy penalty and their second came from a free kick that should never have been awarded: Cole was fouled but he was penalised in a ridiculous decision. DRS would clearly have shown a hotspot around Cole's rib cage!

By the time Lisbon scored that second goal, we had Elliot Lee on up front, Sebastian Lletget on for Nolan and, most amazingly of all, one Pelly Ruddock in the centre of defence in place of Tomkins. Add in Morrison, who started, and that is four kids whose combined age might just about add up to Jussi's!

The goals were superb. The first came from a Boomtown (on at half time) throw, with Maiga back heading the ball into the six yard box and Nolan drifting in behind his marker to steer into an empty net. We were still cheering when Boomtown slipped a pass into Morrison and Ravel buried a shot into the corner from 25 yards. Brilliant! Then Cole sent in a cross and who was that rising, Carroll fashion, on the edge of the six yard box to glance home a header? Only Ravel again! This kid may be good as well as a thuggish arsehole!

Unsporting's goals apart, with both credited to the referee for the assist, we were rarely troubled. Reid made a brilliant goal line clearance after a fantastic twisting run by Carrillo, but that was genuinely it. We bossed the bloody game!

Of course, the last time we had a great pre season was under Avram so we shouldn't get too carried away, but Boomtown looked good, Maiga looked a bit better than last season, and Morrison was, excuse the pun, a ravelation! Add in Carroll, Diame and Collins and who knows, it could be an exciting season!

We even drew a mysterious penalty shoot out at the end of the game. Lee scored his which is promising. Morrison missed his. But who cares?

Player ratings: Jussi 4 (two bad errors); O'Brien 6, Tomkins 6, Reid 8, Taylor 5; Noble 6;
 Morrison 8, Nolan 7; Jarvis 6, Cole 7; Maiga 6 Subs: Rat 7, Lletget 6, Lee 6, Ruddock 5 (wasn't he a striker when we signed him?)

Half Time - Lisbon 1 West Ham 0 - Anything but sporting!

Hang on a mo, somebody should tell both sets of players that this is a pre season friendly, not a winner takes all show down. Some of the tackles have been distinctly tasty and at one point, both teams were on the point of a mass brawl after Maiga was trampled on. Very unseemly.

Up until the award of the dodgy penalty in the last seconds of the half, we looked pretty good and should have been ahead, with Nolan missing a sitter after a Morrison shot - yes Ravel is playing at last - rebounded off the post straight to Captain Kev in the six yard box. Two things to say here. Best he misses them in friendlies and it's good to see that knack of being in the right place at the right time persists.

Defensively we have been good, with Reid and Tomkins looking assured, Noble screening them effectively, O'Brien doing his usual tidy job at right back and Taylor slotting in at left back. Anyone know where Boomtown is? Shopping in Harrods with Florin perhaps? But then again, he probably just doesn't like Mondays.

Jarvis has been poor. Cole has put in a shift. Maiga looks stronger physically but just as frail mentally. Haven't really noticed Morrison apart from that shot. Taylor conceded the penalty and lost possession to start the move. Jussi has missed one corner, flapping in a Green like fashion, and spilt a long shot which went straight into his chest.

Not a bad work out. No shame this far. Team looks fit, physical and up for a fight. Well, what do you expect with Allardyce in charge?

Why is Remy on his way to Newcastle?

So what the hell is going on? Why are we letting Loic Remy join the French Foreign Legion in Newcastle rather than snapping him up for the bargain £2m that the Barcodes are rumoured to paying for his services for a season long loan?

Once again, we are playing brinkmanship as the new season approaches. We all know we need a striker, we don’t need Sullivan Junior to tell us that, and we aint going to get one for less than £2m.

True, Remy’s wages will set Newcastle back a small fortune, but he looks to be well worth the money, providing he can keep his hands off the Geordie lasses.

There’s only one deal that will make this bearable and that’s if Big Chief Demba Ba returns following Chelsea’s capture of Shrek.

We are supposedly targeting a top ten finish, but with Carroll as our only out and out striker, that seems very, very ambitious. We need a striker and we need him fast. Remy would have been perfect. Ba would be good. We don’t want another Chamakh!

But even Jack the Twitter knows that!

Danny Gabbidon returning to Prem with Crystal Palace!

Incredible, you can't keep an old yard dog down it seems. Despite Doing a Dyer and spending most of the season in the treatment room, ex Hammer Danny Gabbidon has been given a one year contract extension and will be playing in the Prem again next season.

Palace were already nailed on favourites to go down. This news should shorten their odds still further! What's Upson up to? Perhaps Palace could sign him too. And Anton may want to return from Turkey. And Dyer may fancy a return to the Prem too. And Palace are already interested in Carlton.

If Holloway quits, perhaps Avram could make a return to English football!

Negredo bid shows intent and Liverpool's Suarez would be happy!

Ok the bid was rejected, and ok, Negredo was, like Carroll, reluctant to make the move to the Boleyn, but the fact the bid was made shows the determination of Sullivan and Gold to push on from last season.

Was Negredo seen as an alternative or as a partner for Carroll? If the latter, that is very exciting; if the former, it shows that we are not going to stand for any nonsense from the pony tailed pillock. Maybe, just maybe, the club is opening up the possibility of him spending a year in Liverpool's stiffs.

Negredo would be a fabulous addition to the squad and to the Prem, should it prove possible to coax him into making the move, but that is probably unlikely. Which is a shame for Suarez should he stay at Liverpool, because then there would be one player in England that he could call Negredo with out fear of a ten match suspension. That said, I'm not sure what the Sevilla man tastes like!

And the winner of the second prize at Leeds...

Good to see the Yorkshire club honouring at least one of its promises to the fans with the Official Site announcing the winner of the competition to win two season tickets for 2013-14.

Mind you, if the first prize was two season tickets, we are left wondering what the second prize was? Five season tickets perhaps?

West Ham hold all the cards as Liverpool and Newcastle cold shoulder Carroll

So Liverpool don't want him. And Newcastle aren't interested either. Which leaves Carroll with nowhere else to go. Now, given we hold all the cards, it's time to offer Liverpool a revised deal.

First off, they should be required to meet a percentage of Carroll's wages. They were bloody foolish enough to pay him 100k per week and they are desperate to get him off the wage bill. Fine. So we should alleviate some of that financial pressure, but not all of it.

Then there's the transfer fee. Fifteen million sounds toppy to me in the present market. Let's shave it down to twelve, with add ons based on goals scored and appearances.

And finally there's the issue of Carroll's injury. Let's ensure there's a clause in the deal protecting us should that injury turn out to be worse than first thought. We don't want Carroll arriving half fit, like Dean Ashton!

West Ham to sign the Spanish Rob Green?

Anybody know anything about Adrian? Apparently he is on a free transfer. And apparently he improved over the course of last season. And apparently he will only be an understudy to Jussi anyway. But Jussi's arthritis has to cut in soon surely, so we need an understudy capable of doing the job full time if the need arises.

Not one to set the pulses racing but if he spends the season on the bench, who cares?

At least he isn't Rob Green!

Reading's Kebe to West Ham?

Really? Jack Collison will break his nose every time Kebe bends down in the dressing room to pull up his socks!

I prefer Vaz Te personally.

The return of the Bentley boy from Spurs?

David Bentley anybody? Thought not. But with bloggers desperate for news, the former Arsenal, Norwich, Blackburn, Tottenham and West Ham dud has been linked with a return to the club.

If ever there was a guy who flattered to deceive, Bentley is the man! Even his name has pretensions of grandeur. Most fans of West Ham would agree that we have had enough of Bentley Boys at the club thank you very much!

Mind you, Spurs may decide to keep Bentley as a natural replacement for Bale following his departure to Real Madrid!

Insane business at West Ham?

Has anybody ever heard of Ludovic Sane? It sounds like a made up name to me but according to one tenuous report, we are chasing the defender come holding midfielder come butt of all sorts of punning newspaper headlines.

Sane business or otherwise? Anybody got any idea? How good is he on Championship Manager? I understand from my son that Joe Cole ends up playing for Ipswich reserves next season according to the game and that Martinez replaces Moyes at Everton! Those guys do know the game!

Martinez to Everton? Who cares, it's the badge that counts!

So, unless he backs out as he backed out when offered the Villa job, Martinez is destined to be the next manager of Everton FC. It is, at the very least, an interesting appointment.

I wonder, when was the last time that a manager, who had just overseen relegation, given the chance to take over a top 6 team? You have to wonder what, exactly, the criteria is at Everton.

OK Martinez has done what Moyes couldn't do, he has won a trophy, but season after season, Wigan have dug themselves into a hole in the Prem and have needed a Great Escape to remain in the division. And when they have gone on a winning run, they have proved that they have had the quality to do such much better all along.

So the evidence suggests that Martinez struggles to motivate his players when the chips aren't down. Where, exactly, was the Wigan team that took Everton apart in the FA Cup Quarter Final at Goodison through the Premiership season? And where was the team that matched up to and outplayed Man City in the Cup Final when Wigan had to compete in the Prem?

Martinez is a nice guy and plays the game in the right way, but he doesn't get results. But Everton fans don't care, they are too preoccupied with the badge to worry about who manages their club next season!

Joe Cole in Dreamland!

I've heard it all now! Joe Cole was never really good enough even in his prime, but now he has set himself a target of being in England's squad for Brazil!

First of all, England have to qualify, and that's no forgone conclusion, and then there's the little matter of Cole being too old, too slow and too injury prone.

Remember the good old days when players like Hoddle and Waddle released singles? Perhaps JC could cover that old Supertramp classic...

Dreamer, you're nothing but a dreamer,
Can you put your hands in your head
Oh no!

Watford's Zola admits he deserved the tin tack at West Ham

Good on GianFredo. He had the opportunity to criticise Gold and Sullivan and gloat about our subsequent relegation under Avram Grant, but he resisted, confessing that he lacked the experience necessary and therefore that the decision to remove him was right.

Of course, some West Ham fans will still argue that Zola could have gained that experience whilst still managing the club - and let's face it, he couldn't have done worse than finish bottom in the following season aka Grant.  Meanwhile, Stevie Bibs and Cones has done pretty well in his first season at West Brom, adding fuel to the fire stoked by those opposed to the pair's sacking.

The trouble is, we deserved to go down the season before under Zola and Clarke. Our points total that season was a pathetic 35, just two more than Grant's team achieved, and the lowest points total any team has stayed up with in the Prem. Zola and Clarke inherited a top half of the table team and in two seasons turned that team into a shambles.

And that must be a concern for Watford and West Brom fans. Will the pair suffer second season syndrome next year? Some managers - like Pardew it seems - are great when the wind is in a team's sails, but they are found wanting when conditions turn against them.

Zola thinks he is a better manager because of his sabbatical, but it may well be that the lend lease strategy employed by the Pozzos has simply given him a much better hand than has been dealt to any other manager in the division; in which case, third place may actually be an underachievement.

Should Udinese Calcio win the Play Off final, nobody will judge Zola too harshly if the Calabroni come straight back down, but should Holloway's charges triumph, the lovable Italian will be under huge pressure next year and it will be interesting then to see how he copes.

West Ham must stop signing players from Arsenal!

Dear God, if reports are right on the net, we have been paying 40k per week for Marouane Chamakh  to do next to nothing for the last 5 months. What a monumental waste of dosh!

And it's not as if the guy is an isolated case. Arsenal FC stitch us up almost every time we go shopping in North London!

The most famous example is, of course, Ljungberg who cost us close on ten million in transfer fees, wages and a buy out of his contract, in return for which he played 28 games and scored two goals. Three of those appearances were as a sub and he was withdrawn in no fewer than 11 of his 25 starts. Step forward for a picture Freddie, and say "Cheese"!

Then there was John Radford. He didn't cost a lot, it is true, but as a centre forward, he scored precisely no goals in 30 appearances for the club, making Carlton Cole look prolific!

And talking forwards, we mustn't forget Davor Suker who, to be fair, scored three times more than Radford but who completed even less games than Ljungberg, starting just 8 games and finishing only 4 of them. Clearly Davor was not a fan of the Mastermind Mantra, "I've started so I'll finish!"

Mind you, Suker looks like a veritable workhorse alongside that donkey, Aliadiere, or Ali's Derriere! He didn't finish a single game, nor did he score a single goal, the perfect combination of Radford and Suker it seems. In fact, a mirror of Chamakh! For the record Jeremie started just one game and came on as a sub 7 times.

Stewart Robson was going to be a future England captain when we signed him for a bank busting 700k but Arsenal knew he had a deep seated injury, Four seasons and 84 appearances later, he left for Coventry on a free.

Lansbury was another "future England star" but he also fell well short of expectations with his most memorable performance being in goal! He only made 13 starts in all competitions and was withdrawn in four of those. His goal tally? One.

To be fair, we got one good season out of Ian Wright, Wright, Wright and his 9 goals for the club are more than the combined total of Ljungberg, Chamakh, Aliadiere, Suker and Radford. It was fun having Wrighty around but, although he won't go down in the Arsenal's Anals of the club, he doesn't deserve a place in the annals either!

Which brings us to Nigel Winterburn who was a trier and who, although slowing up badly by the time Arsenal released him, did start 89 times in Claret and Blue and managed to score more than Chamakh, Aliadiere and Radford combined - ONE!

Even when we got a good one, Leon Britton, we let him go without him playing a single game!

Then there was, of course, the exception to the rule and so the man I managed to forget, Hartson. 33 goals from 72 starts, and a 4 million profit when we sold him on to Wimbledon. He made the rest worthwhile, unless you name is Eyal Berkovic!

Rat Arrives And Starts Talking Retirement!

Welcome to Boleyn Mansions Residential Home for the Elderly and Infirm! No sooner has he signed than the Rat is talking of ending his career at West Ham!

Speaking from deep inside a cosy armchair, Rat expressed disappointment about the views from the Green Street ground -it's about as green as Bucharest he moaned - but was enthusiastic about the possibility of trips into Essex, Suffolk and Kent.

Sipping on his hot chocolate and nibbling on a Hob Nob the Romanian smiled broadly when explaining how compatriot Florin Răducioiu had told him of the joys of shopping in Harrods on a Saturday afternoon and also that the club do not expect much in return for huge wages.

With the Rat having already arrived and laid claim to an arm chair close to a radiator, Ambrossini is scheduled to be next through the door, just as soon as the club have purchased him a top of the range mobility scooter.

Is Carroll's injury a clever ploy to put off rival bids?

It's all very convenient isn't it? With Newcastle rumoured to be interested in reclaiming their former centre forward and suggestions that his performance against Reading might force up his price, Carroll has suddenly been struck down with an injury that will supposedly keep him out for four months. Who will buy him on that basis? How convenient.

But if the rumours are true, we should be very careful. Carroll is injury prone and, remembering Ashton, we really don't want to splash out big money on a striker carrying an unresolved injury. If we strike a deal with Liverpool, it should be on the basis of only paying when Carroll is fit.

Sad Exit For Carlton Cole

OK, he wasn't Carlos Tevez nor Paolo Di Canio, but Carlton Cole always gave 100% for West Ham. At one stage he was linked with an unlikely £12m move to Inter Milan and, of course, he was called up for England - and not many West Ham players have worn the three lions in recent years.

A forward who can't score isn't ideal, but Carlton led the line with courage, commitment and skill. All too often he was left isolated, but he did his best to keep three defenders occupied single handedly, running the channels, dropping deep and chasing down every single over hit lost cause.

Only rarely did he complain and when we were relegated, he took a 50% pay cut and shunned the opportunity to prolong his Premiership career by moving to Stoke City.

His exclusion from the party against Reading was both sad and shameful. Carlton deserved better and should not have been ushered out of the door without the opportunity of a proper farewell. He has worn the Claret and Blue in more than 240 games and scored 59 goals.

His high point was probably the play off final goal against Blackpool, which people forget was just as important as Vaz Te's.  But his match winning performance against Chelsea this season will live long in the memory, as will his cracking goals against Wigan and Newcastle under Zola. And, of course there was that Cup thumping of Man Utd when he and Spector shared our four goals between them.

Cole has played under Pardew, Curbishley, Zola, Grant and Allardyce. None of them really fancied him - though Zola loved him - but Carlton outstayed them all except Doctor Evil.

He will be missed, especially by barn doors on Green Street who saw him as their benefactor! Along with them, I would like to thank Carlton for the memories.

UKIP's Nigel Farage to protest after West Ham sign Romanian Rat?

It's bad enough that 21.3m Romanians and 7.476m Bulgarians are planning to flood into Britain to claim benefits in January of next year, without the nations' bloody rodents joining them. Nigel Farage, leader of UKIP and the bookmaker's favourite to be Primeminister in two year's time will, no doubt, be outraged by the arrival of a Romanian Rat at West Ham.

A source close to Farage raged: "This is a disgrace and proves what we have been saying all along. Our research shows that every man, woman and child in Romania and Bulgaria have already booked their flights on Wizz, Tarom & Blue Air and will be signing on in a Benefit Office near you by the end of January 2014; and we all know that rats abandon sinking ships."

He continued: "Tell me, what are the disease carrying rodents going to live on when all the humans have left? It doesn't take a genius to work out that they will be following their meal tickets to the UK and living off our benefit system too does it?"

"This Romanian Rat is the tip of an iceberg. And it's no good the Tories promising a referendum on Europe in two year's time because all these immigrants will be entitled to the vote, and when they are over here, they are not going to vote against their own meal ticket are they?"

He concluded: "What is poor George McCartney going to do now? He is a model professional and an international footballer. Why are we allowing this Romanian Rat to come over here and take George's job? It's an outrage!"

Creamed Rice Beyond Sell By Date To Sign For West Ham?

Will we never learn? How many clapped out has beens looking for a soft landing into retirement have we signed? This season alone, we have taken on Diarra and Joe Cole. Now, we are being linked with Ambrosia Creamed Rice, a very good player in his day, but a player who has never been tempted to the Premier League...until now.

So why the sudden enthusiasm for a stint in England? Well no other team is going to meet his wage demands!

Meanwhile, the Romanian invasion is about to begin, just as UKIP predicted, with the arrival of Roland Rat.

Nolan brings back memories of September 2005!

I may be wrong, but I think you have to go back to September 2005 for the last time a player in a West Ham shirt scored a hat-trick.

The opposition were Villa, and the hero that day was none other than Marlon Harewood. We won that one 4-0 and before we get carried away by tenth place with 46 points under Allardyce, it might be sensible to remember that we ended 2005-06 by taking Liverpool to penalties in the best Cup Final ever and finished ninth in the table on 55 points.

And we all know what happened the following season, don't we?

West Ham 4 Reading 2 - What a difference a year makes!

Twelve months ago, Reading stormed into Upton Park and took us apart. We were shocking, they were brilliant, and we were consigned to the play offs - a miracle combination of results apart - as Reading chased down the title.

Twelve months on, and Reading arrived with Adkins in charge instead of McDermott and already down. But for 15 minutes at the start of the game they looked the better side, and for the first 20 minutes of the second half, it was like a replay of last season. 2-0 became 2-2 in the blink of an eye and until Noble released Nolan with a brilliant pass, setting up an equally brilliant finish, there was only going to be one winner - and it wasn't West Ham!

But with the arrival of Collison in place of Cole, order returned. The Noble pass for Nolan was, as I said, brilliant and Nolan's control and finish were sublime. Then Maiga came alive! For the first time since October he crossed the ball onto the head of a West Ham player, and Captain Kev did the rest. 4-2. Job done. Game over. Tenth place secured. And poor McCarthy's reputation was in tatters despite a brilliant save from Nolan in the first half. Today showed why you don't want a kid in goal!

The victory was pleasing but flagged up all sorts of concerns for next season. If Carroll doesn't stay, we have problems. Defensively, we struggled when Le Fondre arrived, begging the questions why the hell he doesn't start games for Reading and how the hell we will cope against quality strikers next season. Vaz Te was in and out, but mostly out. Cole looked old and on the wane. Jarvis didn't start. Jussi is getting very old.

There's lots of work to be done!

Player Ratings: Jussi 6; Demel 6, Collins 6, Reid 6, O'Brien 5; Noble 6, Diame 6; Vaz Te 6, Nolan 8, Cole 5; Carroll 8 Subs: Collison 6, Maiga 6, Taylor (Came on!)

Half TimeWest Ham 2 Reading 0 - Carroll the Giant dominates Reading's Lilliputians

Well, considering our dire record against Reading, that first 45 was pretty damned impressive. Yes Reading might have scored in our typically dodgy opening 15 minutes, but for the last 20 minutes, we have utterly dominated and it could be 4-0.

McCarthy has pulled off a brilliant save from Nolan, after a superb header back from Carroll, but was dreadfully at fault for our first. Credit to Carroll for charging down the keeper's attempted clearance and to Nolan for his calm finish, but Reading are like suicide bombers every time they have the ball in and around their own penalty box. The Met will shoot them if they try to get on the Underground after the game!

Vaz Te's goal was finished well, and followed more excellent work from Carroll who controlled a deep cross from Diame and set up RVT superbly.

Vaz Te has also hit the post, Diame has forced a save from McCarthy and Cole has sliced two chances wide. We're looking good for 10th at the moment!

On loan star in shock exit from West Ham

Oh my God. Fans the length and breadth of Green Street and the Barking Road were shaking their heads in bewilderment and dismay today after manager Sam Allardyce revealed that top transfer target Emanuel Pogatetz will not be at the club next season.

After a string of startling performances in a West Ham shirt, Pogatetz will unquestionably be missed. Indeed, some fans were planning a campaign to get the number 6 shirt reinstated in recognition of the brilliance of the most influential Austrian since Hitler.

Quite how Allardyce proposes filling the void left by Pogatetz remains to be seen. However, my 83 year old Mum would perhaps be the closest to a like for like replacement!

England call up proves Carroll can achieve his ambitions at West Ham but...

In one sense, Carroll's call up by Woy is good news because it proves that he can achieve his ambitions at West Ham.

However, the timing is unfortunate. If he is picked, and plays a starring role, other clubs may suddenly look to sign him and his price may be jacked up to a level that we cannot afford.

Meanwhile, Carroll may think he is worth every penny of his 100k per week wages and refuse to negotiate a more realistic contract.

Will he be with us next season? We need to sort it out quickly because we don't want to go into August with only Maiga and Carlton as options!

Leeds set for Bournemouth, Wigan, QPR, Reading, Doncaster and Brentford or Yeovil

No wonder GFH Capital did a deal on season tickets given the profile of the Championship next season. Apart from Leeds themselves and Leicester, Nottingham Forest, Birmingham, Derby, Huddersfield and Sheffield Wednesday, the division has suddenly taken on a distinctly mediocre look.

Home fixtures against the likes of Bournemouth, Wigan and Brentford or Yeovil are not going to set the pulses racing are they? It is true that Doncaster offer the prospect of another derby game, but Hull City are a more mouth watering prospect than little Donny aren't they? And as for Brentford or Yeovil, well Leeds might as well be back in the old Third Division for the glam factor in those fixtures.

The big London clubs are all in the Prem, meaning that a trip to the nation's capital will only involve games against relative minnows QPR, Millwall, Charlton and either Palace or Watford. And even amongst the "big 7", outside of Yorkshire, Huddersfield and Sheffield Wednesday would not trigger much excitement for rival fans.

Still, Leeds fans can look forward to a few days at the seaside - with games at Bournemouth, Blackpool, Wigan and Brighton. And if Yeovil win their play off final, it would be a relatively short pilgrimage down to Cornwall to pay homage to the Warnock sitting beneath his Bohdi tree.

Of course, fans of Ipswich, Middlesbrough, Blackburn and Bolton will object that they belong in the same bracket as Leeds, Leicester and Nottingham Forest, but outside of their fan bases, everybody knows that's not so.

The marketing men have a big job in selling the Championship next season because, apart from the parochial conflicts centered on Yorkshire and the Midlands, it all looks very much like a low budget cast.

Apologies, accidentally posted on wrong site.

Could Scotty Parker really be on his way to QPR from Spurs?

How the mighty have fallen. Butterfingers Green thought he was too good for West Ham, or worth more than we were prepared to pay him, and his Premiership career has predictably slipped through his fingers.

Mark Hughes quickly understood Green's limitations, and brought in Cesar, but despite limited appearances, the signing of Green was still a key factor in QPR's relegation. The Hopeless Hoops never recovered from the opening day thrashing - with Green at fault for at least two of the goals - and England's 666 still had time to concede one of the most laughable goals scored in the Prem all season, with Calamity Green flapping pathetically a the ball from behind his own goal line. Green was a key factor in our relegation and he carried his "form" over to QPR. That's three clubs that Rob has been relegated with now - and that's not coincidence!

Now, it seems, Scotty Parker may be about to join him in the Championship. Thank God Allardyce is a strong manager, otherwise the Davids might have courted popularity by bringing the "West Ham Legend" back to the club - but Allardyce will have none of that. He quickly understood that Parker had no appetite for the Championship and that he was hell bent on joining his beloved Spurs. And he appreciated the guy's limitations too! Well Parker got what he wanted and, now, Karma may be about to kick him in the bollocks too!

Mind you, it is hard to understand how QPR can afford him, given the Financial Fair Play rules. And it is equally hard to understand what Redknapp thinks Parker will bring to the table. As our wardrobe, Diop, showed, you don't need a great holding midfielder in the Championship, just somebody who stands watch in front of the centre backs. Parker, as we well know, offers nothing offensively - how many goals and assists for Spurs? - and so would be an expensive option for the "stopper" role in midfield.

But he's a mate of 'Arry's isn't he?

Has Upson retired yet? Perhaps Redknapp could sign him too! What about Spector for left back? And bring Faubert back from France! Come on 'Arry, give us all a laugh at QPR's expense. The gRRRRs have already savoured Ben Haim, Ferdinand, Dyer and Zamora, in addition to Green, so go the whole hog and assemble an entire team from West Ham rejects!

West Ham should target West Brom's Odemwingie

QPR's loss could be our gain. The guy is not getting any younger but he knows where the goal is, and his pace would really add something to the team.

West Brom fans won't ever accept him back and Bibs and Cones Stevie has all but conceded that he will leave. There's a bargain basement deal to be done here if we move quickly!

Allardyce Unfair to Collins &, Heaven Forfend, Nolan

I'm not surprised he was upset by the team's performance, but Allardyce was harsh on Collins and Nolan when he said only one player did himself justice - Jussi.

I agree that Jussi was superb and just about everybody else was a shower of shite, but Collins saved as many goals as the Finn, throwing himself in front of shot after shot, and Nolan was involved in most of our, all too few, moves of substance.

It was a very bad day at the office collectively but if I was Collins, in particular, I would feel pissed off reading Allardyce's comments. 

Match report via this link:

http://thegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.ro/2013/05/everton-2-west-ham-0-shameful-cowering.html

Everton 2 West Ham 0 - Shameful Cowering Before Moyes's Maruaders

Bloody hell, I left a lido in 80 degree temperatures to watch that! And I think half the team stayed in the bloody pool!

Collins and Jussi apart, we were a disgrace. Collins prevented three certain goals with fantastic blocks, and the Finnish keeper saved at least four efforts worthy of a goal. The midfield was non existent and, time and again, it was two men against eleven. And it was a cruel twist of fate that saw a Collins deflection provide Everton with their second goal.

OK Joe Cole came on and forced a save from Howard. OK Nolan forced a better save in the first 45. And OK, Demel came to life and burst into the Everton box at one moment. Oh yes, and Carroll thumped a header against the base of the post when Jarvis, at last, got in a cross. So we could have scored four. But Everton could have scored ten!

Diame was withdrawn at half time, 44 minutes too late. Collison quickly followed, and boy he was crap. And O'Neil was called off far, far, far too late. Jarvis stayed on, but only because we were only allowed three subs.

Mind you, the decision to go 4-4-2 for the second 45 was perverse. Everton over ran us in midfield for the first 45, so where was the sense in giving them even more space? Only in the last ten minutes did we find any kind of footing in the game, and that's because Everton had eased off, withdrawing the superb Miralles and playing out time. Even Fatty Dowd got into the party mood, generously allowing Collins to stay on the pitch when he could so easily have seen a second yellow and declining to book Nolan for a frustrated trip from behind.

Moyes is probably in our dressing room now, thanking the players for giving him such a superb Goodison send off. Let's face it, Everton have scored more goals against us than any other team in the Prem, and have taken more points off us too, so we were never going to spoil the party were we?

Player Ratings: Jussi 10; Demel 4, Collins 10, Reid 5, O'Brien 4; O'Neil 1, Diame 1, Nolan 6; Collison 2, Carroll 5, Jarvis 4 Subs Carlton Cole 3, Joe Cole 6, Noble 4

Half Time Everton 1 West Ham 0 - Only half the team has shown up!

So why does it take us 15 minutes to switch on? In fact, in the case of today's game, why did it take us 30 minutes to switch on?

It seems to me that apart from Collins (who has been superb), Reid, O'Brien, Jussi and Nolan, the team think they are on holiday. Collison has been dire. O'Neil has been worse than dire. Jarvis has been direst of all. And Diame has been diarrhoea! And Demel? He's just been dozy. Carroll has had next to no service so it's unfair to judge him.

Allardyce will be laying in to them at half time and surely we will see a change or two. Otherwise Everton will run out three or four goal winners.

And yet, despite only half the team showing up, it could be 1-1, because Howard made a superb save to stop Captain Kev scoring after a lovely ball from O''Brien.

Collins has made three fantastic blocks and Jussi two excellent saves, one at point blank range with his bollocks - and he still jumped up in case of a follow up!

Will the Moyes send off help West Ham at Everton?

It's a bit of a strange one isn't it? Moyes is off, his bags are packed, and he is heading up the road to disliked rivals Manchester United, but he remains in charge of Everton for our game and the one that follows. Will the fans give him a great send off, or will dissenting voices make themselves heard?

The wisdom seems to be that the fans will express their love and gratitude to a man who has failed to deliver a single trophy in his entire time at the club, but should Everton start poorly, the worms may turn. The first 15 minutes will be absolutely crucial because no teams have conceded more goals in the first quarter of an hour of games than either Everton or West Ham - which is a strange stat given both Moyes and Allardyce insist on disciplined approaches from their teams.

Even if there is a positive party atmosphere, that may help. Take away the intensity, and Everton may prove as soft as their nickname suggests; and Allardyce would love nothing better than to put one over on the man who has, in his mind alone, unfairly got the Manchester United job ahead of him. Bloody hell, why else did Sam the Man delay signing that contract extension at West Ham? Fergie is a mate and so would have confided in him. Now there's only the Manchester City and Real Madrid jobs to tempt Allardyce away from the Boleyn!

There's little to speculate about in terms of team selection. Allardyce now knows his first team, and the only issues are probably whether Collison starts ahead of Vaz Te and if Noble may get the nod over O'Neil. I expect the same team that started against Newcastle, however.

We are, of course, absolutely safe now but the incentive of a top ten finish remains. Lose this one, and that's unlikely; win or draw and it's a real possibility. Everton, however, are a bogey team and we have a terrible habit of shooting ourselves in the arse at Goodison Park. Can we forget Mido's missed penalty or Piquionne's red card? Mind you, it's no better at Upton Park: the Green and Gabbidon mix up anybody?

Congratulations to Reid, condolences to O'Brien, Diame & Jussi

No quibbles from me about the winner, the home game against QPR apart, Reid has been superb all season. Avram won't be remembered too fondly but he was in charge when Reid was signed - albeit he did his best to destroy him by playing him at right back against Villa on his debut. Great credit is also due to Allardyce, who took hold of the rough diamond and polished it superbly whilst ensuring that the experience of Faye and Collins were there to guide the boy. After Bale, and everybody is after Bale this season, Reid has to be the most improved player in the division.

But he is not the only hero this season. With no Scotty Parker hogging the headlines unfairly, the whole team have pulled together, with Allardyce, to his immense credit, producing a team much stronger than the sum of its parts.

For me, O'Brien deserves a special mention. He is a limited player, but my God he tries his hardest and has rarely let the team down. True, when against the best - Walcott and Bale - he has been exposed but, considering he has been covering at left back, he has coped manfully and his never say die spirit has been infectious.

Diame too has been consistently impressive. OK, there was that nonsense period where it looked as if he was trying to engineer a move to Spurs or Arsenal, but that never stopped Scotty being Hammer of the Year did it?

And finally, Old Father Time Jussi should be acknowledged. He has made more saves than any other keeper in the Prem this season and the new found confidence of the defence is down to knowing what the guy behind them is going to do - which was never the case when Robert Please Don't Cross the Ball Green was flapping inside his six yard box.

But, and I will say this through gritted teeth, the real Hammer of the Year was Allardyce. The games at Stoke, Newcastle, Liverpool and Southampton showed what he has brought to the West Ham table. It aint pretty at times but it bloody works!

West Ham Should Buy McCarthy

(Article submitted by Stani)

As the season draws to a close and we begin to look to next season, the goalkeeping position is one we will be looking to strengthen over the summer with Jussi Jasskelainen now in the twilight of his career.

Yesterday I read an article linking us with Brad Guzan, who without doubt is a good goalkeeper. It would be an improvement if we did get him, but how much of an improvement? Though the American international has been keeping Shay Given out of the Aston Villa side, Villa have struggled this season and shipped in a few goals on more than one occasion. Obviously the goalkeeper cannot be entirely blamed for this, but Guzan has always come across – to coin a phrase from an ex-West Ham 'keeper, David James – as a bit camerish to me.

My choice? Well there's one young 'keeper that has really caught my eye in the few appearances he has made this season, and that is Reading's Alex McCarthy. Tall, brave, agile, alert, and just 23 years of age. In my view he will be worth more than £15 million before too long and will be the one to take over from Joe Hart as England's number one. I am astonished he hasn’t already been snapped up by a bigger club, and leaves me quite anxious that we could be missing out on a future superstar.

Manager Sam Allardyce should act now. We have already missed out on another promising young 'keeper in Jack Butland, who signed for Stoke in the January window for a bargain £3.5 million whilst we stood there twiddling our thumbs.

Desperate Newcastle boss Pardew needs to check rule book!

Pull your pants up Pardew and stop talking out of your arse! Was the Cisse effort over the line? I've no bloody idea. I watched it in real time and thought it was, but then watched replays and freeze frames and was convinced it wasn't. Or it may have been. But then again it wasn't. But perhaps on reflection it could have been. But no, no it wasn't. Or maybe...

But after the game, Pardew was ranting that the linesman should have given the goal. Why? Because Pardew "thought it was in, at the time". Time to check the rules of football because I have never seen the sub clause, "A goal should be awarded when the manager of a team thinks, at the time, that the ball has crossed the line". That was presumably introduced at the insistence of Ferguson!

I don't have the exact wording in front of me, but it has something to do with "the whole of the ball being over the whole of the line" as Jimmy Hill used to delight in telling Brian Moore, and for an assistant to award a goal, he has to be convinced that has happened. Even with TV replays, nobody can be sure either way, so had the goal been awarded, it would have been, as they say, "a travesty".

I know times are desperate at Newscastle but Pants Down shouldn't be making himself look even more ridiculous than he already does!

Half Time West Ham 0 Newcastle 0 - A Tale of Tiny Margins

Well was Cisse's shot over the line? If not, it was bloody close, but Reid deserves huge credit for the clearance. Most would have given it up, and the few who bothered to chase it back wouldn't have had the speed to catch it up, nor the skill to kick it clear - so even if it was just over, Reid deserves the luck.

At the other end, we had a "goal" struck off after a late, late, late offside flag. I think the linesman was dozing and had no idea which, if any, of the three West Ham players chasing down the ball was offside. Carroll's cross was excellent and Nolan finished in typical fashion. Perhaps justice was done.

But justice wasn't done when Fatty Dowd failed to book Jonas for feigning injury to relieve a bout of pressure from West Ham. The arrogance he showed when getting to his feet as soon as O'Neil put the ball out was shameful. But more fool O'Neil. There's so much feigning these days that players should only stop the game if they hear the crunch of a bone snapping.

Newcastle were the better side in the first half but tension may cut in with Wigan having equalised at West Brom. A point would suit Pardew's posers so they may be tempted to consolidate, and that may give us the footing we have struggled to get in the game.

Yeovil can blitz Sheffield United at Huish Park

Shafting United fans shouldn't get too cocky after their narrow first leg victory over Yeovil. It is true that the Glovers would have liked an away goal, but I have been on the terraces at enough games at the old Huish to know what an intimidating atmosphere can be generated by the cider swilling yokels.

There will be memories of epic cup victories from the past - not least because of the Blunted Blades' kit - and the Shafting United players will need nerves of steel if they are to progress to Wembley.

My money is on a 3-1 Yeovil victory in the second leg!

Would ex Swansea star Scott Sinclair fit the bill at Upton Park?

I've always rated the guy, even when he was a Chelsea player out on loan in the lower divisions. He has barely had a kick all season at Unreal City and Mancini has hinted that he will be allowed to leave this summer, and I would love to see him at Upton Park.

At the moment, a return to Swansea is being mooted, but like Carroll, Scott should take note of the old adage, "Never go back".

A return to London might suit the GB Olympian and Allardyce might just be the man to prise out the guy's undoubted potential.

Does Carroll want to relegate Newcastle?

Given he is being strongly linked with a move to Newcastle in the summer, Andy Carroll will find himself in a very strange position if, as expected, he is selected to lead the line at the weekend. If he scores the winner, and pushes Newcastle closer to the relegation trap door, then he could either scupper a dream move back to his home town club, or condemn himself to another season in the Championship.

Mind you, a confused Carroll is still a more exciting striking prospect than a committed Carlton!

Official Site Ducks the Big Question!

Fascinating interview with Trevor Morley except for the failure to ask the big question!

You would have thought the interviewer might at least have had a stab at it! Favourite player when you were at West Ham? Favourite chess piece? West Ham fans still talk about your special relationship with Ian Bishop, any particularly fond memories?

Still, Newcastle are coming to town so perhaps the Official Site is saving the big question for Pants Down Pardew!

West Ham's best signing of the summer!

I don't care who else we bring in, the  two year extension to Reid's contract is fantastic news. How this boy has progressed since that nightmare debut at Aston Villa when Avram played him as a right back! Under Allardyce, the lad has barely put a foot wrong and his pace and speed of thought have been key factors in our successful return to the Prem.

Great start, now let's see who else we retain and bring in!

A 3 Year Contract for a 31 Year Old Romanian Rat? Findus did a better deal!

Ok we need a left back, but £35k a week for a Romanian left back who has been plying his trade in the Ukraine? What a joke! And it gets worse. The guy is 31 for pity's sake, and we are reportedly offering him a three year contract. Madness.

I suppose the absence of a transfer fee makes the deal a little less crazy but I currently live in Romania and, believe you me, you need to look every gift horse in the mouth before you agree to include it in your beef lasagna.

And it's not as if the club have happy memories of Romanian players is it? Roland Rat is probably planning his shopping trips to Harrods even as we speak!

Hang on, sourcing a dodgy old Romanian nag? Dodgy lasagna? We must be planning for Tottenham!

Aston Villa 6 Il Duce's Sunderland 1 - When did an Allardyce side last ship six goals?

All those West Ham fans wetting themselves at the thought of Di Canio managing the club might like to reflect after tonight's Blunderland horror show.

Just like his idol Mussolini, Di Canio started well at the Stadium of Plight, but the Premiership is a 38 game season and a couple of victories count for little in the long run. The win over Newcastle was courtesy of some dreadful decisions by the officials and Everton should have left the North East with at least a point. Tonight's performance and result have put everything into true perspective.

Now tell me, when was the last time an Allardyce team surrendered so pathetically? We were very poor at Sunderland and shipped 3 goals, and it's true that Arsenal tore us apart at the Emirates - but Arsenal are a much better team than Villa! Of course, the same excuse cannot be given for the 5-1 mauling at Ipswich last season but Allardyce was focused on the transfer window that night.

Il Duce Di Canio may prove me wrong but I don't expect him to be a Premiership manager this time next year. Allardyce, on the other hand, will keep doing what he is best at: organising his team to play the percentages and punch above their weight. Like we did at the weekend, when we pushed Mancini's millionaires close.

Allardyce is like the Nationwide Building Society - boring but reliable; trusting Di Canio is like putting your mortgage on zero in a casino - exciting but very, very dangerous. Sunderland have opted for the thrill ride and may well live to regret it!

So, when was the last time an Allardyce side shipped six goals?

Allardyce Unfairly Criticises Team After Manchester City Defeat

Something must have crawled up Allardyce's arse on his way to the game. How else can you explain his downbeat assessment of a highly creditable and passionately committed performance at the Etihad. Yes we lost, but as I said in my half time report and match report, we gave Unreal City a game, which we had no right to do when you look at the cost of assembling the two teams.

In one way, Allardyce's judgement that we need "better players" is encouraging but it sounded churlish, nay spiteful, after a narrow defeat to the recently deposed Champions. For God's sake, we finished in third place in the Championship last season, 22 places behind Mancini's millionaires. To push them close, and at times outplay them, was impressive.

Instead of moaning, Allardyce should have praised Reid, Collins, O'Brien, Diame, Jarvis and Carroll in particular. There are "better players" out there, but we can't afford the Van Persies, Ronaldos and Messis, so we should acknowledge the efforts of those we have.

I went on record yesterday to say I was proud of the team and praised Allardyce for our performance. I don't know what game he was watching, or what he expected, but it was a valiant and praiseworthy effort based on what I saw!

(Match report here: http://thegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.ro/2013/04/manchester-city-2-west-ham-1-dignity-in.html )

Are Pardew's Newcastle too good to go down?

It's 0-6 at home to Liverpool as I write. And Suarez isn't even there to bite Pardew on the arse if he drops his pants!

Amazing!

Manchester City 2 West Ham 1 - Dignity in Defeat!

Bloody hell, we looked Unreal City's equals for much of that second half. True Toure's goal was brilliant and Carroll's was bloody lucky - with Mother Superior Jussi telling that young slut Hart the virtues of keeping your legs shut after the game - but we passed the ball well, got forward frequently and played with tremendous spirit. Another difficult game for Allardyce's critics to explain, because the manager deserves huge credit for the team's organisation, commitment and, yes, skill levels.

How often did we lump it long? Not often. How often did we pass the ball through midfield? Most of the time. Yes we worked it wide to the flanks, and yes we crossed the ball high into the box, but when you have a weapon like Carroll in the team, you would be stupid not to. Liverpool fans who mock our loan signing might like to watch a tape of the game. Carroll was always in the game and his contribution wasn't all elbows and thumping forehead.

There were so many West Ham heroes out there. I can only assume that Collins, Reid and O'Brien are running a competition on who can get in the most blocks this season. If Vaz Te and Demel had showed the same sort of commitment, Unreal City would not have notched their opening goal. Jarvis ran and ran and ran, and got in a few decent crosses too. Carroll, as said above, gave 100% and showed some surprising touches of skill. O'Neil stuck to his job. Nolan linked the play well. And Diame was a bull, our version of Toure. On the balance of play, we didn't quite deserve a point, but given how much Man City have spent, we should have been awarded one anyway! I have rarely felt so proud of a West ham team in defeat.

Jussi, however, had a bit of a mare and was lucky he wasn't punished more severely. He has been hugely impressive this season but this game was, perhaps, a timely reminder that he isn't getting any younger; and a new keeper might be needed for next season. And you have to wonder why Taylor is continually used; he has passed his sell by date for sure!

But let's not end on a negative. Let's remember the Reid block to prevent Tevez scoring. And the O'Brien block inside his own six yard box. And the Collins block. And the panic in the Man City defence every time we crossed the ball into the box. And that superb passing move, back to front, through midfield, in the last couple of minutes of the first half.

Player ratings: Jussi 4; Demel 6, Collins 7, Reid 8, O'Brien 8; O'Neil 7; Vaz Te 6, Nolan 7, Diame 7, Jarvis 7; Carroll 8  Subs Collison 6, Taylor 4, Carlton 5

Half Time: Manchester City 1 West Ham 0 - Second best but not by £200m!

Well we are behind, but only just, and only because Jussi woke up feeling a little arthritic this morning. The Unreal City goal was brilliantly worked, but Jussi spread himself like a frigid Mother Superior with cystitis, and seemed more obsessed with keeping his legs shut than getting his hands to the ball. Two minutes later, he almost handed City another when showing a similar reluctance to widen his legs and stretch. He's been excellent this season but, thus far, he has had a poorish game.

We haven't offered too much going forward, but Hart was at his butterfingered worst when saving from Diame, and Carroll has had a couple of half chances inside the box. What's most pleasing is our discipline, organisation, commitment, and our willingness to build from the back. True, both moves ended in a high ball into the box, but in the last two minutes of the first half we strung together two excellent passing moves which belied Allardyce's reputation for hoof ball.

Mancini's millionaires have focused most of their raids down our right, and it was no surprise when the goal came from that flank, with Vaz Te failing to track back, Demel exposed in consequence and the entire defence ripped apart by quick, pin ball style passing. The goal was scored from inside the six yard box, but Jussi should have done better.

Carroll has been booked, unfairly. Jarvis won a free kick for head butting Kompany's chest and was clearly still concussed when running into an offside position to collect the free kick. Allardyce was apoplectic. Somebody should tell him we are safe or he will be back in hospital for heart surgery!

Paulista to feature this season and Morrison next?

Dear God, the thought of it is probably giving Allardyce sleepless nights. He has a talented South American in his squad and, with survival all but guaranteed, he might feel under a little pressure to give the guy a game.

You what? Actually play the lad? But he has the F word. He has flair!

And then there's the impending threat of the Return of Ravel. This guy's a shit, no doubt about it, but Lee Clark is enthusing about him after recent performances and even Unreal City have been rumoured to be interested.

Just imagine if Paulista stayed, Morrison returned, and they were selected along with Joe Cole. Allardyce would have an epileptic fit. For crying out loud, will somebody tell them to stop arsing around and lump the bloody ball forward!

Sporting Life headline provokes trembles at QPR

Dear God, the Sporting Life really should take more care with its headlines. Just imagine the anxiety in Shepherd's Bush as the headline "Green reported to the Fraud Office" appeared on the News Now boards!

"Dear God, even the authorities have seen through Butterfingers!" a voice must have squealed in the PR office. England keeper? Worthy of a salary of 50k a week? A Premiership keeper? No wonder the bloody Fraud Office is involved!

But calm down, calm down, it's another Green entirely! Rob hasn't been found out.

Yet!

Butterfingers Green at fault again as QPR lose to Stoke

How amusing. As Jussi pulls off a breathtaking save to keep us ahead against Wigan and on course for a victory that guarantees our Premiership survival, England's 666, Butterfingers Green, gets a weak hand to Crouch's low velocity shot, and fails to prevent it going over the line.

I'm not sure what Jussi is earning at Upton Park, but you can bet your life it is nowhere near the 50k per week that Green is being paid by Foolish Fernandes and, kicking apart, there's no disputing who is the better keeper.

Rob Green is now on the point of completing a hat trick of relegations as somehow, glory keeps slipping through his fingers. Relegated with Norwich. Relegated with West Ham. Now relegated with QPR. A pattern seems to be emerging.

But he still has his fans at West Ham. Some would still welcome him back with open arms. Mind you, some would welcome Fernandes to the Boleyn!

Green has got what he deserves in my book. He was once a great shot stopper but an average all round keeper. Now his great shot stopping days may be beyond him. He is nearly back where he belongs, in the Championship, and let's hope his contract allows for a massive reduction of his salary in consequence. Defoe, Parker, Green - they are cut from the same money grabbing Judas cloth!

West Ham 2 Wigan 0 - It's official, Fat Sam's singing!

Well it was classic West Ham in one sense - we were kept on the edge of our seats until late in the game before our Premiership place was guaranteed for next season. With Sunderland, Newcastle, Norwich and Stoke all winning, the team chose the worst possible time to switch off, but switch off they did at half time, and for the bulk of the second half, we were not only second best, we were dire. Collins stayed strong and Jussi pulled off a brilliant save, the rebound fortunately by-passing Kone, but those two apart, the players were on the beach enjoying their hols!

Nolan's goal was utterly undeserved, if we are honest, but the 2-0 scoreline shows why Wigan will probably join QPR and Reading in the Championship next season. At the back they are dire, and up front, they have all the firepower of Carlton Cole!

But Big Fat Sam won't care about any of that! Cole was crap, O'Neil was crap, Nolan, his goal apart, was a passenger, Noble was easing himself back, Jarvis was resting on his laurels, Reid played a couple of abysmal passes, Demel headed the ball back across the face of his own goal, Vaz Te was a joke before his withdrawal. But we won, and winning was all that mattered.

Into the top ten now, level on points with Swansea. Every place is worth a cash bonus. If we can finish in the top half, we will look back on a fabulous season!

Half Time: West Ham 1 Wigan 0 - So Far So Safe

Well again it hasn't been thrilling - unlike the midweek game against Man Utd - but who cares? The chance for Maloney or McCarthy apart - I can't remember which - we have been comfortable and we could have scored two or three ourselves.

In one sense the goal was fortunate - Jarvis didn't intend to net - but in another it was exactly what the cross deserved. It was beautifully delivered by the much maligned winger and both Diame and Nolan were inches away from connecting. Had either done so, it would have been a glaring miss had the ball ballooned over the bar. True both missed, but the cross still bent inside the post, and despite Nolan's attempts to con himself onto the score sheet, the goal belongs to Jarvis.

Wigan's back line have been far more stretched than ours, and our penalty claim was much more valid than theirs. The only worry is Carroll's yellow and his inability to change his game. He is walking a tightrope and Captain Kev has already had a word, trying to calm him down. The last thing we need is for Carroll to see red and to be ruled out of two games.

As things stand, we are comfortably safe, but I won't relax until 40 points are on the board: Stoke, Sunderland and Newcastle are all winning, which is the Perfect Storm of results I talked about yesterday, should Wigan run out winners today and Norwich steal a winner against Reading in the second 45 minutes.

So far so safe, but it's not over until the Fat Sam sings!

Will Wigan's Whelan sue West Ham over Tevez goal?

Oh the irony. Back in the Great Escape Season, it was Sheffield United's McScab and Wigan's Whelan who led the protests over Tevez and who threatened to form a footballing and legal Axis against West Ham.

On the pitch they did their level best to engineer the survival of both clubs, only for Tevez to drive a stake through the Warnock's heart with that epic winner at Old Trafford; and now, all these years later, the maverick Argentine has returned, like a member the undead, to sink his fangs into Whelan's neck.

How deliciously appropriate would it be if  that Tevez goal on Wednesday, and defeat at Upton Park, ultimately cost Wigan their place in the Premiership?

I can feel a legal action coming on! If West Ham had not signed Tevez on that Third Party Agreement, he would never have signed for Man Utd and so would never have moved across Manchester and so would not have scored that winner on Wednesday. If Wigan go down, it will all be West Ham's fault!

Good job Duxbury has moved on, otherwise he might be penning a compensation package even as we speak!

West Ham 2 Man Utd 2 - Robbed by incompetent linesman!

Bloody hell! That was so close to an epic victory, and yet again incompetent officials determine the result rather than brilliant football. Diame's goal was a classic and deserved to win the game. And so it would have done had the linesman done his job, looked along the line, saw that Van Persie was beyond the last man, and raised his bloody flag.

But that's too much to ask isn't it?  Van Persie was no more than 20 yards away from the dick with the flag and at six foot something, he's not easy to miss. How the hell could anybody fail to see that he was offside? As he netted, I wasn't worried. He was off, obviously off. Even Ferguson knew because he looked anxiously down the line expecting to see the flag before he celebrated. Bloody hell!

And that was so cruel because we deserved to win. This wasn't a lucky point, we out battled Man Utd on the night and scored two excellent goals, both from open play. Jarvis set up the first superbly, mirroring Devonshire's dash to the dead ball line in the Cup Final, and standing up a superb cross that screamed out to be directed into the net. Carroll got his radar wrong, but there was Vaz Te, diving in at ankle height to head home. It was too early to score, the Mancs were always going to equalise, but boy was it sweet!

Of course Man Utd equalised, but that goal apart, we were comfortable at the back with Collins again superb, making superbly timed interceptions and blocking shot after shot. I would say that he is back to his best but that would be wrong. He is far better than he has ever been on the evidence of the last three games. How stupid were we to sell him?

Our second was a joy. Back heel from Vaz Te, nice dinked pass from Demel, superb bent shot from Diame, and clever evasive action from Nolan. Brilliant!

O'Neil cleared one off the line after poor marking at a corner and Jussi made a couple of saves - oh and Carroll made a fantastic last ditch intervention in his own six yard box to stop Hernandez scoring. But we didn't look stretched or stressed - in fact we were looking the Champions Elect equals, passing the ball neatly  - one terrible O'Neil square ball and one Collison error apart. Long ball football? No. We hit the channels yes, but for the most part we played out from the back with impressive confidence.

Only for the twat with the flag to rob us of a famous victory!

No matter. With Wigan losing, we are safe. Even I'm happy to say that now!

Player ratings: Jussi 7 (should have held Rooney's shot that O'Neil cleared off the line): Demel 6, Collins 9, Reid 8, O'Brien 6; O'Neil 7; Diame 8, Nolan 7; Jarvis 7, Vaz Te 7; Carroll 9 Subs: Noble 6, Collison 5, Taylor 5

Half Time West Ham 1 Man Utd 1 - And Wigan are drawing at Man City!

As I keep warning, this bloody relegation battle could yet get messy. You look at all the permutations and you think, surely we can't go down, but should Wigan get a result at the Etihad, the nightmare may yet happen. Unless we can get something tonight!

To be fair, we did not look like relegation candidates during that first 45, but we all know how the Mancs come on strong in the final third of a game. You'd have to fancy them to win at this stage as Demel tires and they start to exploit gaps down our flanks.

The goal apart, Collins has again been superb, but he was pulled out of position when Demel went missing and from there, the entire defensive unit was at sixes and sevens. Reid was sucked across too and missed his block and even Carlton would have netted in Valencia's position.

Our goal was excellent. Jarvis made it to the touchline in a throw back to the days of Devonshire and stood up a lovely cross. Carroll was going for goal, but Vaz Te was on hand to head home as the ball was heading wide.

Carroll has played like a bull. Nolan is playing the picador and Jarvis has been something of a matador. Here comes the second half. Come on Man City!

Why is Princess Brady desperate to justify money spent on Jarvis?

(With thanks to Stani)

There's no doubt that Gold, Sullivan and Brady have done a lot of tidying up regards the financial side of our club in order to stabilise us, so they should be given credit for that. But let's not ignore the fact that it was first and foremost in their own interest that they did so.

With that positive acknowledged, what concerns me with them is their tendency to make huge errors in judgment. Avram Grant is an obvious one. Another in my opinion - with the assistance of the manager - was the purchase of Matt Jarvis for potentially £11 million pounds. If you think the owners are feeling that they made a mistake there, then you're mistaken. Even as recently as 6th April, in her column in the Sun, Brady was trying to justify it:

"TWO goals from Andy Carroll and three points closer to the shoreline. By any reckoning, our man Sam was right to insist that we bought winger Matt Jarvis from Wolves last summer. Stats shown to me today reveal Jarvis as the Premier League’s leading open-play crosser of the ball with easily the most successful attempts at 42 from 171.

Analysts suggest this is because Sam Allardyce prefers traditional wingers aiming the ball for big strikers. Perhaps, but that’s a gross under-estimation of Jarvis, who can be quietly devastating.

It worked today as Andy scored twice but we have to be without our loan player at Liverpool this Sunday and someone else will have the pleasure of meeting Jarvis’ crosses."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/4875414/Karren-Bradys-football-diary.html#ixzz2Qcj9629M"

Firstly, you would have to ask why someone has felt the need to show her stats on a player. Have there been questions raised about the purchase of this player behind the scenes? Is someone trying to justify the purchase with stats?

Secondly, anyone that puts the stats to one side and watches the actual football will see what Jarvis produces. Yes they are crosses but they are 9 times out of 10 lacking in any pace, direction or quality. Jarvis' sole aim it seems is to get to the byline and get the ball in by any means, seemingly unconcerned about it's effectiveness as long as it counts as a cross.

Lastly, Brady's words suggest that Jarvis and his crosses somehow played a part in Carroll's two goals when neither of Carroll's goals in fact came from Jarvis' crosses.

Regards Allardyce's comments on not being able to afford Carroll because of the financial rules...I think this is a deliberate attempt by the club to bring down the price of the player. Now consider the fact that had we not wasted £11 million on Jarvis, we would have been in a far better position to buy a more effective player in Carroll. On the evidence of what Jarvis has provided so far, I dont think he'd have been missed if he wasn't brought in.

I would like to make clear that I don't really want to castigate the player...I'm merely arguing that he is not worth £11 million. That is an international class price tag and Jarvis I'm afraid is not international class.

Going forward, it is their propensity to make such errors in judgment that concerns me about our owners.

Will Financial Fair Play scupper West Ham's rise or make it easier?

The Financial Fair Play rules are on their way and are already being offered as an excuse for not buying Andy Carroll. However, the club must be in a much healthier state now than when Sullivan and Gold took over. Heavy weight wage earners such as Dyer and Parker have been shown the door, and a whole host of over rated, over paid and over here clowns have been shipped out.

That said, Nolan didn't join us for love, even if he knew that Sam would play him come what may. Jarvis must be on a hefty package too. Joe Cole won't have come cheap. And Carroll's wages are massive.

So it all sounds bad news until you think it through. If we have problems, so will other clubs. Do Liverpool want Carroll on their wage bill. Absolutely not. And they will do pretty much anything to offload him. So suddenly his transfer fee is likely to fall, and a deal on meeting some of his wages might be in the offing too.

Carroll might well be destined for Newcastle, but clubs will be looking to offload a host of players who are not pulling their financial weight. Jordan Rhodes has been linked, and Blackburn have no choice but to sell him. Will Spurs fancy paying Defoe's wages if it means that they can't afford Bale? What about the fringe players at Man City and Chelsea?

Suddenly new opportunities in the loan market are likely to open up as clubs anxiously look to save on their wage bill to comply with the rules. If West Ham pay 50% of Carroll's wages, that at least saves Liverpool 50k a week!

These are interesting times. Our Premiership place is now all but guaranteed - though I still want to see one more win; the question is, can we now take the next step?

How bad is Pogatetz?

Don't get me wrong, I like Southampton's Rodrigues as a player and think we were bloody lucky he didn't start because of a virus, but Messi or Ronaldo he aint, and Pogatetz made him look like a world beater after his introduction.

How long was the former Miserableboro man on the pitch? About 20 minutes? And in that time he was done all ends up, collected a yellow and, on another day, might have seen a red. He had no way of stopping young Jay other than fouling him.

Based on what I have seen since his arrival, Pogatetz is slow, cumbersome and brainless. Thank God we only have him on loan!

Sunderland's Victory Over Newcastle Means West Ham STILL Need Another Win and QPR are Down!

Oh dear God, this season is beginning to shape up like 2002/03! How many points are going to be needed to stay in the Prem? I certainly wouldn't fancy staying on 38 and Zola's 35 certainly wouldn't have kept us up! Those draws at Liverpool and Southampton are now looking so, so, so precious.

Still it could we worse, we could support QPR who have no chance now after this one!

I hate Il Duce's politics, but you have to love the guy's passion! It was Keystones Kop football at St James' Park - have either team heard of passing the ball? - and had nothing to do with Di Canio's Italian roots, but the Black Shirts won't care. Three crucial, crucial points and Newcastle's scalp into the bargain!

Il Duce certainly caught Pardew with his pants down, and his straight arm salute went right up him! Ouch!

Southampton 1 West Ham 1 - Allardyce passes acid test thanks to virus in Saints camp

Well it was never pretty - in fact we played more football at Anfield - but who cares? Another point banked means we would be incredibly unlucky to go down from here, even if we contrive to lose four home games on the bounce.

Jussi was superb today. Those who insist Green is a better keeper have no idea about the game. His first half save from Lambert is a contender for the save of the season and two blocks in the second half have all but guaranteed our safety.

Collins was superb again today. Had we kept him instead of selling him to Villa, we might have stayed up two seasons back. Had Villa kept him, instead of selling him back to us, they would not now have a goal difference of minus 24!

And Tomkins deserves a very honourable mention too. He and Collins were so unlucky for the Ramirez goal. Both threw themselves into the block as if they were protecting a child from a bullet, and it took Sods Law with a capital S&L for the ball to bounce, pin ball style, perfectly into the path of the Southampton man.

That said, our goal was soft too. On 99 days out of one hundred, Carroll's tame free kick would never have found the back of the net, but today it did. And as the net rippled, so our safety was all but guaranteed. Especially when Fulham equalised, courtesy of an own goal, and Norwich lost their lead and then went behind thanks to a penalty and another own goal. Doctor Evil's contract with the Devil paid out on all fronts today!

Defensively we were excellent; offensively, we hardly showed up. Carroll put a good chance wide and Collison put one over the bar, but an offence had already been committed. But so what? We came for a point and left with a point. And that is now two back to back defensive performances to make the tacticians purr, even if the purists have opened their wrists in despair!

And we saw Paulista. Not on the pitch of course, but making the bench is progress!

All that said, thank God neither Rodrigues nor Pogatetz started!

Player ratings: Jussi 8 (the kicking was awful!); Demel 7, Collins 9 Tomkins 9, O'Brien 7; O'Neil 6; Vaz Te 5, Diame 6, Nolan 5, Jarvis 3; Carroll 6 Subs Collison 6, Taylor 5, Pogatetz 3

Sothampton Game An Acid Test For Allardyce

After the excellent draw at Liverpool, today's game against Southampton will be an interesting acid test for Allardyce. His supporters argue he has done a superb job, keeping the club just above the relegation pack, but Southampton have climbed above us in the table, and should we lose today, will pull clear and confirm their presence in the Prem next season.

For much of the season, Southampton have struggled and it was a massive feather in Allardyce's cap that he had negotiated a safe route through the first season up, whilst the two other promoted teams looked likely to return to the Championship. I was angered by the replacement of Adkins, but subsequent events seem to be proving the Southampton Board right. The Saints look a much more fluent team going forward and are tighter at the back, whilst Reading don't seem to have gained anything by replacing Nice Guy Brian with Nice Guy Nigel.

However, Southampton's recent run, and our struggles since December have put things into context. We still need three points to guarantee safety, and whilst relegation is unlikely, it is not impossible. If we lose today, and then get stuffed by Manchester United, there may yet be a few anxious glances over the shoulder. Victory for Southampton, in contrast, would confirm a wonderful revival.

And of course, if we stay up, our troubles are not yet over. Carroll needs to be replaced and that won't be easy. Southampton, on the other hand, have a young team that is growing in confidence and should be stronger for their experiences this season. After half a dozen games, they looked dead and buried but our hammering of them at Upton Park now seems a long, long time ago.

Can we win? It's a bit depressing that we even find ourselves asking that question. Remember, Southampton were in the third tier of English football two seasons ago. The climb has been nothing short of breath taking. But we can win but I don't expect us to unless Carroll has an absolute stormer. And there's the rub. Without Andy, we were toothless up front at Anfield - if we lose him for the run in, it could yet get hairy!

David James and Shaka Hislop Put Jack Boot into Sunderland's Di Canio

Interesting to read both Shaka and David James chipping in their five pennyworth in the Il Duce Di Canio debate.

According to Shaka, Di Canio is not a racist - not that anybody has ever suggested he is - but he does question the Italian's ability to manage in the Prem and suggests he walks a narrow line between "genius and insanity".

David James goes further, saying that he always regarded Di Canio as a "dictator" and says that his straight arm salute to the Lazio fans simply confirmed what he had always suspected, that Di Canio was an unpleasant individual.

Meanwhile 'Arry has asked where all this fascist stuff has suddenly come from, claiming nobody mentioned it when Il Duce was in charge at Swindon. He really should check out this blog more often!

One last thought, will Di Canio wear a black arm band at Newcastle out of respect for Thatcher?

Which Liverpool Game Was Allardyce Watching?

Don't get me wrong, I thought we were superb as my match report reveals, but Allardyce's analysis of the game on Match of the Day was utterly perverse. No mention of the brilliant defensive work of Collins and Tomkins - that was left to Hansen - but instead a strange claim that we had the better chances in the game.

Now I can remember three chances: the Collison header that was cleared off the line - but Gerrard's shot blocked by Tomkins on the line was a better opportunity; Diame's shot from the angle after his brilliant dribble - but that shot was always rising and I was screaming for him to go down for a penalty; and Cole's blocked shot from the edge of the box - but it was Carlton and the ball was heading wide anyway.

It is true that Liverpool didn't have many chances thanks to our brilliant defensive work, but the disallowed goal was only marginally offside, Suarez put his cross shot through the legs of Jussi and only inches wide from an impossible angle, and Jussi was much the busier of the two keepers over the 90 minutes.

It is times like this that Doctor Evil appears such an arse. Instead of being honest and saying we got we came for after doing a professional number on Liverpool, his ego demands that he makes absurd claims to make it appear that we were the better side, when clearly that was not so.

Brendan Rodgers overdid things when he said that only one team was trying to win the game, but I must admit that I was yelling for all 11 men to get the right side of the ball for 87 minutes of the game - and the right side was behind it!

One last thing, well done to Rodgers for complimenting the West Ham fans for respecting the minute's silence and well done to the fans themselves for showing that respect.

Match report here:  http://thegamesgonecrazy.blogspot.ro/2013/04/liverpool-0-west-ham-0-brilliant.html

Liverpool 0 West Ham 0 - Brilliant Defensive Display!

My God we nearly won! If only Collison's header had cleared the defender on the line!

That was one of the best West Ham displays I have ever seen. Over the years I have grown royally sick of our lay down and die attitude at Anfield, and Allardyce's critics might like to reflect after that showing.

Collins and Tomkins were immense. I lost count of the number of times they tackled and blocked. True Tomkins was a little lucky that the referee didn't buy Gerrard's penalty claim - most would have done in front of the Kop - but that apart, he was flawless.

And Collins? Well he looked like Tony Adams or Alvin Martin at their very best. Three times Suarez tried to dribble round him and three times Collins said, thanks very much, and took the ball off him. Bobby Moore against Brazil? Absurd I know, but it came to mind!

Demel, O'Brien, O'Neil, Diame, Jussi, they all played their part in keeping the score down, whilst Jarvis ran with the ball at every opportunity and Cole did the donkey work up front, with the emphasis upon donkey!

Nolan went missing until he was withdrawn but even Vaz Te dirtied his knees in a couple of tackles!

Heroic. Wonderful. The best 0-0 I have ever seen!

I'm off to celebrate with a couple of beers before watching Steaua. It's a tough life!

Player Ratings: Jussi 7; Demel 7 Collins 10, Tomkins 10, O'Brien 7; O'Neil 7, Diame 9, Nolan 5, Vaz Te 6, Jarvis 7, Cole 6 Subs: Collison 7, Taylor 5, Pogatetz 6

Oh and 10 out of 10 for the ref!

Half Time - Liverpool 0 West Ham 0 - Next 45 minutes or so could be dangerous!

Well that's the best 45 minutes West Ham have played at Anfield for as long as I can remember. In fact, with a decent number 9 leading the line, we could even be ahead!

That said, the defending has been brilliant but last ditch on too many occasions. Vaz Te put in a superb tackle which, if slightly mistimed, would have been a nailed on penalty. Tomkins tackled Suarez superbly deep inside the box - and that was a hair's breath from a penalty too. And Collins and O'Brien have been throwing themselves in front of the ball at every opportunity. A cruel deflection could well give Liverpool the lead. Even Demel has got in on the act, stretching into a tackle to put the ball into touch when exposed as the last man.

Mind you, the best football of the half came from Diame with his brilliant weaving run into the box. Why didn't he go down under the final tackle? Even a homer would have been tempted to point to the spot in front of the Kop!

You felt a Liverpool opener was coming from roughly the third minute to the forty sixth, but we are usually two down by now.

Must go. I have to pray before the second half kicks off!

QPR and Reading are down, but 40 points still needed to avoid drop

Thank God we beat West Brom. Had that game been lost or even drawn, I would make us amongst the favourites to join the Hula Hoops of QPR and Reading in the Championship next season. But that victory has given the division a false look from a West Ham fan's point of view. We sit in middle table, but we sit on a very narrow perch and there is a massive ravine beneath us.

To be fair, we didn't look like a team haunted by fears of relegation last Saturday. Collins and Reid were immense at the back, and the three goals we scored were all out of the top drawer. I have been a long standing defender of Tomkins and Noble, but their replacements Collins and O'Neill were hugely instrumental in our victory, figuring in all three goals between them. The other stand out player was, of course, Andy Carroll who, frighteningly, is unavailable for today's game at Liverpool.

This round of fixtures is fraught with danger. Even when we are playing well, we get thumped at Liverpool, with 3-0 being a par score. Suarez is on form, Liverpool are buzzing, they need the points, so it looks a banker home game. Keeping the score down may, in fact, be the best we can hope for. And goal difference may yet be a crucial factor.

Our season probably now comes down to three games - all at home against Wigan, Newcastle and Reading. Win all three and we will be in mid table. Win one and draw one and we will be safe. Lose three and draw one and we will probably go down. Lose all four and God help us!

Look at the remaining fixtures for the likes of Newcastle, Norwich, Wigan and Villa, and there are lots of winnable games. Only Sunderland have a nightmare fixture list, and who knows how the Il Duce factor will play out? If he can spare time from draining the marshes, getting the trains to run on time and invading Albania, he may just fire Sunderland into a temporary revival.

Redknapp is aiming at 37 points to sound realistic, but 37 points won't be enough. My money is now on 40 for survival, and that is beyond both QPR and Reading. With Samba losing his beat and the fans turning on the 100k a week man - and 'Arry criticising him for moving himself up front into the bargain - it looks like Redknapp exhausted his miracles when he won that tax evasion trial. You can only buy so many favours from the Devil once you have pledged your soul it seems.

Interestingly, with everybody singing Allardyce's praises, we are still 6 points shy of the points total achieved by the reviled Roeder in the season we went down. And that 42 points total should be a warning to anybody feeling too complacent in the bottom half of the table. Jol said he "thinks" Fulham are ok with 39 points and we still need one more win to get there!

Di Canio, Sunderland, Facism & West Ham's Lucky Escape!

Well, I go away to the mountains for a week and it all happens. I posted last week that I couldn't see a club managed by O'Neill being relegated, and the Black Cats promptly sack him after a defeat at home to Man Utd, courtesy of a cruel deflection. Mad or what?

But that as just the beginning! The appointment of Il Duce Di Canio to replace him was nothing short of surreal! This is Sunderland! This is Old Labour heartland. This is a club with a Milliband on the Board - or a club that used to have a Milliband on the Board! And they appoint Di Canio who might have confused Black Cats with Black Shirts when he jumped at the job!

And look how long it has taken Di Canio to deny that he is a fascist! The no comment approach was tried. The "I am not in the House of Parliament" approach failed. And only when he was backed into a lamp post did the straight arm saluting, self declared admirer of Mussolini offer a categorical declaration of his political allegiance. But then we all know how fascists remain true to their word  don't we? I'm surprised Di Canio didn't hand a piece of paper to the British Prime Minister declaring he is not a fascist and promising peace in our time into the bargain!

Most laughable of all was Di Canio's claim that some of his best mates at West Ham were black! As if that isn't the familiar protest of all racists! Not that anybody has accused Di Canio of being a racist anyway. Fascists do not have to be racist and, on a technical point, it is Jews rather than black skinned people who are generally the object of their hatred. Perhaps Di Canio will cite his Jewish friends as his next line of defence.

Thank God we never appointed him. The focus since his appointment has been on his politics and if Di Canio drops a black player now, imagine the mutterings in the dressing room. Rival fans could well have a field day and a terrace full of black shirts is the very least Di Canio and the Sunderland Board deserve.

Yes we adored Di Canio the player but Di Canio the man has very severe limitations. His reign at Sunderland has started in predictable fashion and I, for one, hope it ends in tears. With English fans under the microscope for alleged racism during the San Marino game, the appointment of Di Canio to manage an English Premier League club is unfortunate in the extreme. He can say what he likes, but that salute to the Lazio fans and his infamous tattoo are all the evidence needed to show that this man should not be managing a club in the top division of English football.