Chelsea v Liverpool. Only in England!

OK, so explain that if you can! Tonight should have been a non event, Chelsea were as good as through to the semi final and Liverpool, without Gerrard, surely had to focus on hunting down the Mancs in the Prem. And what happens? Two teams packed with experienced players went out and played like a bunch of kids on a Sunday afternoon. You could explain it if this was a game between two teams of Brits, but there were only 3 Englishmen on the pitch! So why, why?

All credit to both clubs. I have posted why I hate Liverpool FC and nothing will change that, but tonight they went to Chelsea and went one better than the mighty Bolton Wanderers managed on Saturday. Four goals at the Bridge! What a shame for the Scousers that Chelsea scored four of their own in reply! But what a joy for the neutral! 4-4 on the night and 7-5 on aggregate, that doesn't happen outside of Roy of the Rovers comic strips! Even my son, who has taken Aldershot to the Prem on his Playstation 3, was calling the game "stupid"!

Mad, crazy, breathtaking, hilarious - you name it. And what a great goal from Lampard to nail the result for Chelsea! Come on you Hammers, put jealousy to one side and applaud both teams for a great game of headless football!

No Villa for Reo-Choker

What's this? Villa aren't so keen on Reo-Choker now? So, Nigel, that's Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Spurs, Newcastle and Villa who have thought, then thought better of signing you. Wonder why that is? Perhaps it's the pouty face? Never mind mate, Sunderland or Birmingham might yet express an interest! Alternatively, you might just face up (hard with that pouty droop) to a few home truths: starting with, you're bloody lucky to be at West Ham!

Now shut up and put up! Give us eight goals from midfield next season and who knows, a mid table team might express an interest!

Great Thai Starter!

Tasty opening fixtures! Birmingham away to Chelsea - I predict five goals for the Billionaire's Blues rather than the Blue Movie Blues; Big Sam (with Barton and Dyer) away to Mini Me's leftovers - I predict five red cards!

And Sheffield United? That's a home fixture with Colchester United for you Blades despite your howls of protest. Still with Red Stripe Robbo in charge does it really matter who you're playing? Cheers, the Colchester fans are banking on the three points already!

And for the mighty Hammers? Well bring on Man City! Who knows, by then they MAY have a manager and an owner. Then again they may not! What they won't have is Barton! If we can't get three points from this one, we are going to struggle!

Spring Roll on August!!!!!!!

Bent? He must be!

So Darren Bent wants to join Tottenham! Is this boy mad? Has he heard of Berbatov and Keane? Has the penny dropped that Defoe can't get a kick even though he's scored as many goals as he's played games? So, Bent's not interested in furthering his international career then! He's happy being the "alternative" striker!

Or does he know something we don't? Is Berbatov on his way after all, lured by Madrid, Milan, United or Chelsea?

Bent and Keane. Doesn't have the same ring really, does it? So you cocky Spurs, remember what it says in the Torah, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. And remember too, you don't get through the pearly gates of the top four if you're Bent!

We're only making plans for Nigel

So Nigel Reo-Coker, you don't feel wanted at West Ham! How much have we been paying you each week? Were you ever dropped? Or played out of your favoured position? Were you stripped of the captaincy?

Well Nigel, you're right, you're not wanted! One goal all season? What sort of return is that from a central midfield player protected defensively first by Mullins and then by Noble? The truth is, NRC, you're a legend in your own mind and have been ever since Sven named you as a back up he never needed for the England World Cup Squad. So what Nigel? Sven took a 17 year old Arsenal reserve and very nearly took Harewood! Wake up, superstar you ain't and if any club is daft enough to offer 8 million, we should snatch their hand off!

Go to Villa or Newcastle and see what it's really like to play in an average team. Arsenal don't want you. Nor do Liverpool or Chelsea or United. Doesn't that tell you something Nigel? You're average mate and average is okay if your heart is in the club. Tevez can moan; Di Canio could moan; Nigel, you ain't got the ability to have the right to bleat.