Warnock came into the bar with a kitten and a flamingo to be greeted by an angry landlord demanding, "Oy, didn't you see the sign? No pets!"
"But these aren't pets," insisted Warnock, "They're my latest Leeds signings. We're in for a drink together. We'll have three pints of Stella please." The landlord was a bit perplexed but with business tight due to the recession, served Warnock as the flamingo and the kitten found a table.
Ten minutes later, the flamingo flies over to the bar, stands on one leg and orders another three pints. These are downed and Warnock returns to the bar and orders another round. The pints downed, the flamingo flies back to the bar and repeats the order. Then Warnock again. Then the flamingo. Then Warnock. Then the flamingo. Then Warnock.
By now all three are completely rat arsed and the barman is amazed. "Fair dos," he says, "That's one bloody clever flamingo but there's one thing I don't understand."
"What?" demands Warnock propping himself against the bar and belching.
"Well", explains the barman. "You bought the first round, the flamingo the second, you got the third round in, then the flamingo, then you, then the flamingo and so on. How comes the bleedin' kitten never buys any drinks?"
"Ah", replies Warnock. "That's my fault. I went into Elland Road see and saw this dirty little bottle of brown ale lying on the floor. So I picked it up, gave it a rub, and out popped Genie Bates. Bloody hell I thought, I can have three wishes. But Genie Bates boomed, 'Three wishes? Three wishes? This is bleedin' Yorkshire. You'll have one wish and be done with it. And you have five seconds to name it or I'll retract the offer.' Neil sups on his pint and continues, "So Genie Bates starts the countdown, five, four, three...and I was in a terrible panic and just shouted out what every 63 year old man dreams of...'I'll have a long legged bird with a tight pussy!'"
11 comments:
Not a bad joke for a weeeeeeeeeeest haaaaaam fan have you come round to big sam or are you still slagging him off because he doesnt play the west ham way .Which by the way must be 30yrs ago when brooking played ( good player ) i cannot beleave how you lot slagged him off he got you promoted enough said just look at us again enough said anyway good look next yr you will need it as i have a feeling you will come staight back down but don,t worry you prob wont be playing us coz we will have gone down as well due to that chelsea tosser bates not spending f%ck all
marching on together. irons and leeds
Absolute cockhead and a pathetic excuse for a blog
Whats up! nothing much to say about your own sh.. club. Blog away blog away...
you'll be back down next year so enjoy it while you can t****r
Isn't this supposed to be a West Ham site? 4 of the last 9 posts have been about Leeds. Why? They're not that interesting.
same shit doifferent day, Every Home & away game for you is a Cup Final Sh*t Team, Sh*T Ground Sh*t Fans. Fat sam and Homo's Hoof it again lolololololololololol Wet Spam pathetic
Southern t.osser. Lol you,ll be heading south again next season back to the championship. MOT.
He's been at this for last few weeks. He's obsessed with Leeds? A westham fan writing about Leeds all the time. Concentrate on your own team mate. Leeds are the biggest club and you can only dream about been like us. Even though we're run by a tight as git and times aren't looking great we are still one of the biggest best supported clubs in the world and we'll be ok. You won't MOT !!!
Seriously, talk about your own club! You have just been promoted! West Ham fans want to soak up everything about that. All summer all West Ham fans want to do is read about their promotion, about the clubs hopes and transfer targets. But what do they find here? A supposed West Ham fan's blog who only talks about Leeds because it's the only way he can get hits! West Ham fans gave you up long ago, they go to blogs who actually talk about their club and not ours!
Typical cockney COCK
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