After Silent Sunday, will it be Mega Monday for Leeds United, with the protracted take over announced today? Or must we wait for Take Over Tuesday? Or Wonderful Wednesday perhaps? Or maybe Thank God Thursday? Or Thank Crunchie it's Friday?
Master Bates has woken up in his mansion and sat down to breakfast, belching as he eats his bacon and eggs, pushing to the side of the plate the unwanted Northern muck known as Black Pudding. What to do? What to do?
The phone rings. It's Warnock. Morning Neil. Money for players? Of course Neil, of course, once the take over has happened. In the meantime, there's a couple of Pompey players looking to move. I know they're not much cop Neil but that's the sort of player you specialise in. Magical ability to motivate, inspire, blend. And we've signed the boy White for you after he found nobody else was willing to up his wages.
News on the take over? These things take time Neil. Stamford Bridge wasn't rebuilt in a day. You're worried nothing is happening? Don't be daft! What do you take me for? Now get your arse down to the training field and get the boys fired up and fit for the new season.
Bates hangs up the phone and picks up his copy of the Times before deciding to go back to bed for a little nap. No news is good news, he mutters as he climbs beneath the duvet and slips quickly into the land of nod, dreaming contentedly of happy Leeds fans awaiting the announcement of his final departure. Bastard Leeds United, he mutters in his sleep, I'll grind that club into the dirt if it is the last thing I do!
This is quite a funny read...Still not sure what your facination is with Leeds United but this story has made me smile, unlike the usual tripe that gets posted on this sad excuse for a West Ham blog.
ReplyDeletehaha, you always cheer me up with your nonsense!
ReplyDeleteMOT
Cockney ponse!!!
ReplyDeleteBest way to shut this guy up is not respond.
ReplyDeleteYou feed him the scraps he needs to make another post.
When he see's he has no posts he soon will get sick.
So if your a itelligent leeds fan and dont like what you read dont feed him.
The more you do the more he will come back.
So your not Itelligent then?
DeleteSpot on about White - all that bollocks about Arsenal and Newcastle wanting him. I'm a season ticket holder and I would have been happy for White to move on. He's quick and after that any semblance to a footballer ends
ReplyDeleteI have to say I stil think your a nob, but you make me laugh with this stuff, But I dont understand what you get out of trying to rub leeds fans up with your drival. I'm sure you're a closet Leeds Fan, but sorry we dont want east end regect supporters.we have enough loyal fans at Leeds already. maybe you should become a Man U fan they take anyone from all over the country.
ReplyDeleteLet you off with that one quite good. Still haven't won me over yet
ReplyDeleteQuite funny for you. Not bad but you ain't won me over yet bubbles
ReplyDeleteWHAT A DICK
ReplyDeleteYou actually take time and effort over these to be called abusive names...bit pervy...
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you slip into something nice? ......... Like a coma yah cockney w*nker
ReplyDeleteU need a job and get off the dole....we are paying for u also to sit in ur moms attic writing pointless garbage...try getting a .gf while ur at it and go see a head doctor weirdo
ReplyDeleteLook you southern fairy STOP commenting on our club!!! You know we as Leeds fans will have the last laugh at your expense so why set yourself up for embarrassment you know you will face???? Our takeover will happen in due course and we will be the envy of all SMALL premiership clubs such as yourselves!!! Go blow your own bubbles and leave us alone....... Lee M.O.T
ReplyDeleteWat a pity , weve got batesy not the sugar daddy we all thought and u got pimp my ride chairman sullilivan the grand king of sleaze...indeed
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot to b said about his porn empire
For which he did jail for on the grounds of immoral earnings because without his dirty dirty money where would west ham be?....
Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds Fan
ReplyDeleteAfter his well-earned nap, Bates wipes the foetid remnants of Friday's jellied eels from his beard and reaches for his laptop. He's let the pressure drop over the last couple of days but it's time the internet offensive on those “moronic Northern Monkeys” continued. "The Game's Gone Crazy" is the latest vehicle for Uncle Ken's obsessive anti-Leeds rhetoric, born on the day a band of travelling architects from God's Country redesigned the electronic scoreboard at his beloved Chelsea Village.
ReplyDeleteHis blogging is all he has left, ever since the new owners had the restraining order issued. Being prized away from the biggest jewel in Yorkshire’s football crown has dented his pride immeasurably, especially as the traitor Warnock is slowly, but surely being allowed to bring players in who might just have a chance of putting the Dirty back into Leeds.
After wiping away the dried up spatter of bodily fluids from his keyboard (the Freddie Sears screensaver gets him every time...he may be a total waste of space, but at least he knows the “West Ham way”) the former football chairman logs on and begins the daily wallow in Leeds United articles which are just crying out for his witty, if delusional, editorial spin.
Fingers flexed, NewsNow selected from the favourites bar and his work can begin. He supposes that he really ought to put as much, if not considerably more, effort into writing about West Ham but, if you want to get the attention, you’ve got to write about something people want to read.
I agree with you pal Bates is laughing his balls off at all Leeds fans...If we dont hear anything about this T/O as you say WHEN Today Tomorrow or next year''...LUST should demand that the Leeds fans should be kept up to date or the marching! Will start again...
ReplyDeleteSaw this on News Now and got my hopes up, as soon as the page loaded I was expecting another load of tripe but he's turned it on it's head and made me chuckle. Maybe he's being nice as he know's the Hammers will be bringing in loans from our Billionaire owners soon! Marching On Together!
ReplyDeleteSouthern poofter.
ReplyDeleteYou shit bastard...ahhhh!!!
ReplyDeleteback off holiday with mummy and daddy then
ReplyDeleteSecret 'Northern Monkey'......... is that why they call you 'Bubbles'.
ReplyDeleteTOSSER.
ReplyDeleteYou've turned into DarrenHarry, HF. LoL
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! My boyfriends back
DeleteWest ham ,bumping,does your mouth bleed every 28 day because you talk like a c..t
ReplyDelete