Allardyce - A PR Puppet With No Mind Of His Own

So, is Allardyce a PR puppet with no mind of his own? Does he pick the team to satisfy Sullivan and Gold's obsession with media management? Does the "right image" take precedence over winning games and achieving Premiership survival? Is Allardyce being paid a bonus to keep the fans happy rather than keeping West Ham in the Premiership?

As ludicrous as that sounds, West Ham fans repeatedly level that charge. Two contributors to this site regularly suggest that Allardyce is a doormat that the owners and PR bods wipe their feet on. Gold steps out of his Rolls and Allardyce, apparently, lays down like a red carpet and begs, "Please walk all over me". When he is about to name his team, Allardyce scurries along to the owners' offices, it seems, and asks, "Is that team alright for you boss or should I make any changes? Anybody in particular you would like to see in the team? Have I got the balance right to suit the image you are seeking to project? Would Her Royal Highness Brady like me to make any changes perhaps? Just name the player and I will pick him, regardless of his suitability and ability."

It's a delicious image, to be honest. Mr Ego himself, humbled and craven, down on his chest in front of Brady, his arse lifted in the air, wagging an imaginary tail. This is a man who compared himself to Jose and argued he was really the "Special One". This is the man who claimed he should be managing Real Madrid or Barcelona. This is the man who put himself forward for the England job, expecting to be appointed despite advocating tactics that would have taken the national team back into the Dark Ages. This is the man who mocked West Ham fans and the idea of the West Ham way, telling the world that the West Ham way had won nothing except relegation. But this is the man who picks players because of their PR appeal, apparently.

Tell that to Tomkins. Who predicted his replacement with Reid? If Allardyce selected his team to please West Ham fans and to pay homage to the Academy heritage, surely Tomkins would be one of the first names on the team sheet. Odd that this craven Allardyce ignores all that and picks the unpopular Reid ahead of home grown JT isn't it?

But, apparently, Allardyce completely changes personality when it comes to Mark Noble. He doesn't rate him as a player apparently - how could he, the guy is crap - he simply picks him to keep the owners, fans and the PR gurus happy. And not only does he pick him, he gives him a key role in the team and uses him as his set piece taker, even though the guy is totally hopeless. Each Friday, after training, Allardyce picks his team and says to himself, "I'll include Noble because he is West Ham through and through and the fans love him. It was a great bit of PR on Tuesday when he talked about the move to the Olympic Stadium, with PR control like that, he has to take the corners!"

The argument is absurd when you look at it like that, but still people persist in claiming that Noble is only in the team because he is a yes man. With Grant, you might buy that. With Zola you certainly would. But with Allardyce? And, indeed, with Curbishley? Come on, get real!

So, is Noble in the team ahead of Diarra and Benayoun because Allardyce fancies his PR skills, or does Allardyce value what Noble brings to the team? The answer is so bloody obvious that the question is farcical. Perhaps, just perhaps, Noble's critics should start asking themselves why the guy is preferred to a man who recently captained the French national team, and start looking for his positives rather than jumping on any and every mistake he makes in a game. That might be the more logical position to take rather than this stupid argument that Allardyce turns into a compliant pussy every time the insertion of the Mark One Dildo is demanded by Gold and Sullivan!