Newcastle Fans, How Selfish Is Shearer?

Did you hear that incredible quotation? "A friend asked if I didn't take the job and Newcastle survived, wouldn't I regret it? And the answer was yes." A slip of the tongue or a short circuit into the guy's subconscious? Why is he back exactly? To save the club or to perpetuate the myth that, like Keegan, King Al can walk on water?

It is high time the Geordies checked out the story of King Canute. The tide will come in no matter who orders it not to. Shearer, as ever, is looking after number nine, looking for personal glory and adulation. If he had really had the interests of the club at heart, he would have stepped in as soon as Keegan left, or when Kinnear was rushed into hospital. Trouble is, he could then have been judged and might have been deemed a failure. Now, if the Loony Toons go down, everyone will say, "What chance did he stand, there were only 8 games left when he took over and the transfer window was closed."

Ginola was on the radio this morning and talking about how boring Shearer was as a person. He termed him a "winner on the pitch" but suggested that he was uninspiring in the dressing room. Well he can't bang in the goals from the dug out so it is his ability to motivate in that dressing room that will now count. He sends me to sleep as soon as he starts droning on MOTD so I can't see how he is going to get anybody fired up personally. He reminds me of Curbishley - boring, boring, boring. Tell me, how often does the return of an ex player as manager signal success? Not often! But why does that matter, if it doesn't work, it won't be Alan's fault will it?

It is Heads Al wins, Tails Al wins. And Newscastle? The castle doesn't count, it is only the King that matters!

Shearer Nonsense! Wake Me Up When You Go Go!

Can you Adam and Eve it? King Kev is dead, long live King Al! How many times has Shearer turned down the job at Newscastle? Now with zero personal accountability because he can't buy and can't sell and so has a ready made excuse for failure, he walks back into Newscastle on a "Heads I win, Tails I win" basis. Newscastle avoid the drop and it will all be down to Shearer; Newscastle go down, well what chance did the lad stand with only eight games to save them?

Remember how Curbishley claimed the credit for saving us on the back of the Great Escape? The truth of the matter is, of course, that his appalling management took us to the brink and beyond, only for a miraculous series of beneficial coincidences, triggered by the goal that never was at Blackburn, to save us. If Newscastle do go down, Shearer will have played just as big a negative part as Curbishley because he has behaved in an incredibly selfish way all season, flirting with the job and, in the process, undermining the incumbents. Now he returns like the Messiah, walking on the Tyne, safe in the knowledge that he can only take the plaudits, not the brickbats.

I do hope he falls flat on his face. He has bored us senseless on Match of The Day so I struggle to see how he can be inspirational in the dressing room. What's that noise drowning out your team talk Alan? Snoring?

Or is this all an April Fool? Hang on, I laughed at Old Skool and I've just put my head into the noose! You couldn't write it!

Shearer on the piss

Quotation from Big Al:

Shearer added: "I was having a few days away in France with my former Newcastle team-mates Gary Speed and Steve Harper and the wives and I picked up the newspaper. I was having a fantastic day. But when I read Bellamy for Newcastle I thought I would definitely have to have another drink. I had several. "

Sounds to me as if Alan is planning to swap his stripes. Is he in training to become Red Stripe Robbo's assistant at Sheffield United I wonder?