Rare Sighting Of The Lesser Spotted Dyer

There are rumours that Kieron Dyer will be changing his name to Hitchcock on the basis of his cameo appearances, popping up from the bench unexpectedly and performing all too briefly. He must have completed something in the region of 15 minutes last night and may have touched the ball as much as twice. That represents a hard day's night for Kieron!

Diddy David must have been having a heart attack as Dyer came on to the pitch. "What the $$&£! Why the bloody hell is Zola bringing on somebody I'm trying to bully into retirement?"

Who knows, perhaps this is the warm up to the big performance. Maybe it is written in the stars that, last game of the season, Dyer will rise, Lazarus like, when the Saviour Zola touches him on the shoulder, race onto the pitch and fire home the goal that keeps West Ham in the Premiership!

Or maybe it will be Boa, like Dyer, leaping up from the bench, eager to justify his transfer fee and monumental wages, who will smash home the winning goal.

Or, more likely, last minute, the ball comes in from a corner, Dyer and Boa both go for it together, collide and both are carried from the pitch on stretchers!