QPR edge ahead of West Ham in race to sign Beckham

So Fernandes now wants Beckham. He wanted Parker of course. And give him a week or two and no doubt he will express an interest in Tevez.

We have heard it all before at West Ham and know how the publicity machine makes noise to drown out mutterings of concern. After the hammering at Fulham, out came the news that QPR are planning to move to a new stadium, so after yesterday's disappointing home draw against Blackburn, new good news was needed...any good news.

Beckham has turned down a move to France so why shouldn't he move to QPR? It's feasible. Just. There must be a post office somewhere in Shepherds Bush where David can draw his pension. And David loves the boot throwing style of management favoured by Warnock doesn't he? So out comes the story that the man Gold and Sullivan have chased for more than two years - after every defeat in fact - may be lured back to the Premiership by Fernandes.

But hang on, why don't we want him? Well after the 4-0 victory yesterday, there's no noise to drown out. And anyway, we're going to sign Tevez aren't we? Well, that will be the story if we lose to Southampton on Tuesday!

Meanwhile, QPR have slipped into the bottom half of the table following Arsenal's scratchy victory over Sunderland; and West Brom have edged closer. It is getting very bunched at the bottom and once the quicksand takes hold, it is frightening how quickly you sink into the shit. Fernandes is, no doubt, preparing bids for Rooney and Ronaldo as we speak - the lad at Birmingham and the fat, retired Brazilian, of course! Well a Brazilian at the Bush is long overdue!