Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Duxbury Fuming at Signing Of Alessandro Diamanti


West Ham CEO Scott Duxbury is allegedly fuming after the signing of Alessandro Diamanti. Already stitched up by Nani when Savio was signed - the CEO thought the nine million was going into an Italian savings account when Nani said he needed "Money for savio" - Duxbury has again been tricked into parting with cash for a footballer.

A club insider said: "Mr Duxbury's face was as red as a Manchester United shirt when he discovered what had happened - he was fuming! What do you mean Diamanti is a bloody player? he asked. He thought we were investing in diamonds!"

Nani is now desperately looking for other players with misleading names. "He tried it with Fanni. It's a real shame that there isn't another quality Bond or Bonds out there, as Nani might swing that one past him. Is there an Old Rope perhaps? Or maybe there's an Isa out there, that sounds like a name a footballer might have. Anybody got any suggestions?"

25 comments:

John le Carre said...

How about Issa Karpov - A most wanted man

Hammersfan said...

That illegitimate son of a Russian father and a Chechen mother? Sounds like a rebel bastard to me!

Anonymous said...

Your an idiot.........

Hammersfan said...

LOL No YOU'RE an idiot, as illustrated by the confusion of your and you're!

Anonymous said...

12.35. No, you're an idiot and you can take that either way

Anonymous said...

worst website on the planet ever.

Anonymous said...

This kind of behaviour goes as far back as Titi Camera, Duxbury thought he was getting two for the price of one.

Hammersfan said...

Sorry 1240, beat you to the draw. Your riposte was better though!

Anonymous said...

Mate, either you you passing on information or passing comment.
Two things.
1) Don't confuse the two.
2) if passing comment, people don't wanna hear it unless you have a angle that is not covered elsewhere.

I know I'm to blame, but, the amount of times I click on a newsnow link thinking there is breaking story or some insight, only to find out there's plum (hopefully making money via google ads) just writing incorrect/misleading headlines, with content of shit. It's untrue.

Hammersfan said...

Like you say mate, you are to blame. Mixture of comment and satire here. Very few have inside information. You have to do a deal not to criticise Duxbury and the club to be allowed into the "inner ring". I'm not interested in penetration on those terms!

hermon tankfish said...

fukovyoubitch is another

Sonny said...

the real tragedy here is you thought this was funny when you wrote it!

Hammersfan said...

No Sonny, the real tragedy is that you felt the need to post that comment and could not come up with anything more cutting.

Anonymous said...

We should go for the Russian,
Slobberdan Mecockyabith

Fonzie's Bald Patch said...

"Mixture of comment and satire here"

And hypocrisy surely?
All summer long you have been bleating on how Duxbury is selling us down the river and how we need to strength the team, how we're being lied to, how Duxbury is planning on stealing Christmas... low and behold it looks like we might actually, really be getting a quality player in before the window shuts - as I did comment a month or so back - and the man still can't win and you put up pictures of DiCanio making the Nazi salute.

If we don't sign anyone then he's fleecing the club and making himself look good, if we do sign someone we get this drivel and you have the gall in the very next article condemns a tabloid for sensationalism?

Do me a favour and take a look at yourself first.
I await your no doubt smug, self satisfying reply.

Hammersfan said...

Fair point Fonzie.

Anonymous said...

You should work for the Sun with these dreadful headlines.

Hammersfan said...

I do; why do you think I've attacked The Mirror. Bleedin' journo!

Anonymous said...

You're a waste of sperm

Hammersfan said...

As a guy who is always filling tissues with the stuff, you would probably know!

marleeen depreciation society said...

Hammersfan, we were hoping it was you in priory road but you've never been to a game have you. you call this satire. can i just point out that satire is meant to be funny whereas i would compare you to a bad case of thrush. an irritating we all know what. you've had the chance to make yourself known outside the ground but you're obviously a farty little teenager with no mates, in your mum's flat sitting in a moist pair of pants with a hard disk full of downloaded chicken choking material. do us all a favour and either venture outdoors to a game and make yourself known so we can all appreciate you in person or leave the keyboard alone. no west ham fan wants anyone thinking you represent us in any way. people like you need to go get back on the special bus and find a nice window to lick.
dying to meet you like lots of real fans......

Hammersfan said...

Yep I call it satire and others agree. Struggling to beat Millwall tonight. Why, because Duxbury dilly dallied! One forward to start the season is a disgrace. Are Collins and Upson cup tied if they don't come onto the pitch? Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Upson did come on the pitch. You really don't know what you're talking about do you?

Anonymous said...

You're being a bit of a TV critic hammersfan, dabbling in old woman punditry. Upson was our last sub and did get on the pitch as any commentator on this should know. You get all hysterical having swallowed the media line. Go to a game and then write about it. They're the views people will appreciate, the primary sources. You're a hearsay merchant with a negative lot to say.
Oh, and why do you think you're satirical? Have a look at Peter Cook and then ask yourself, 'is my blog really a torch bearer of this great tradition?' I think not.

Hammersfan said...

Check the time of the post. When I posted that comment, Upson was still warming the bench.