Birmingham Injuries Mount

Good news from St Andrews. Already without Johnson and Dann, Birmingham lost Jirinek and Ferguson in the first half against Bolton. The result was that a normally tight defence shipped three goals and Birmingham crashed out of the Cup.

I know it's not very sporting but let's hope the injuries are not too trivial. Birmingham do not score a lot of goals and need to keep games tight to win points. They have only won six games all season long in the Prem and, if they ship goals, some of their draws will turn into defeats. They could yet go down!

Injury Blow to West Ham's Survival Chances

It's that time of the year when stones dropped into unrelated pools, even Liverpools, have ripples that can have tsunami like consequences. What possible impact can an injury to Steven Gerrard have on our chances of avoiding relegation? Well, of course, we have completed our fixtures with Liverpool so the injury to their midfield general will not benefit us, but they still have to play a number of our rivals who could therefore benefit to the tune of an unanticipated point or three.

The counter balance in the case of Liverpool, of course, is the return to fitness of Carroll and the signing of Saurez. I'm glad we met the Reds when Carroll wasn't ready and Gerrard was clearly struggling. On the other hand, Valencia is on his way back for Man Utd and Nani should be fit for our game with them at Upton Park. Rio also has more recovery time and so could be back to marshal the Mancs defence. Switch the attention to Spurs and they have 10 days free ahead of our battle at White Hart Lane, crucial time to get Van der Vaart and Ledley King fit and ready, amongst others.

The argument is that these things even themselves out over a season but that is not always true. West Brom benefitted from playing Birmingham in their rival's first game after winning the League Cup, when focus was less than 100%. Those teams who played Liverpool in the early days of Hodgson's rule had a distinct advantage against those who played them later - and we played them later! There was a good time to play Chelsea this season - and we did not benefit from that window. It is easier to play Newcastle now than earlier in the season - and we have completed our fixtures against them. Had our game against Man Utd been this weekend, Nani, Valencia and Ferdinand would definitely not be available. And so it goes on.

There's no point in moaning, of course, it won't change anything, but luck is a factor in where you finish at the end of the season and sometimes, if luck is cruel or kind, it can make the crucial difference. We stayed up in the Great Escape season because we shafted Lady Luck remorselessly (THAT goal at Blackburn, Arsenal's 35 shots but no goals, Big Spam leaving Bolton in the week of our game, Man Utd resting stars in the last game of the season), let's hope that the injury to Gerrard isn't the first evidence of Lady Luck stealing a strap on from the Davids' warehouse in readiness of pay back!

Dyer Trades Treatment Rooms!

Brilliant! Dyer has been sent back to Ipswich for a month. So, rather than pay him £83,000 a week to sit in our treatment room, we are now paying him £83,000 a week to sit in the Ipswich treatment room instead.

With his contract expiring in the summer, this obviously suits Dyer down to the ground. If he can complete the odd twenty minutes here or there, he might land a new contract with some desperate and misguided club somewhere in the world.

But how, exactly, does this help us? Maybe, with everybody else fit, Avram needs the treatment room to house a couple of Thai masseuse so he can keep his extra curricular activities in house!

Will Tevez Ruling Bite Warnock Where It Hurts Most?

Oh the irony! Neil Warnock still moans that he lost his job at Shafting United because we cheated when signing Tevez on a third party agreement, and now QPR's promotion is at risk because Warnock has been playing an Argentine, Faurlin, who was signed on exactly the same sort of deal!

Now I have a soft spot for Rangers - going back to the days of Francis, Bowles, Thomas and Given - but it would be delicious if they were brought to book for this, deducted points and Warnock missed out on a return to the Prem as a result. Talk about hoisted by your own petard!

I bet Sheffield United are preparing a legal action even as we speak, blaming QPR and Faurlin for their imminent relegation to the third tier of English football. They have got their just deserts. Now we just need Warnock to  miss out on promotion at the other end of the table. If that happens, I might believe there is a god after all!

Back in the Bottom Three!

Birmingham have drawn away to Everton. When you are in the shit, it's never easy to get out of it. Unless your name is Gaddafi!

Let's Hope Birmingham Choke On The Toffee!

Another day, another big game in our relegation struggle - even though our players are in Portugal. Birmingham travel to Goodison Park and a point for our League Cup conquerors would see us sink back down into the bottom three. Victory for Everton would mean, however, that Birmingham start to sweat. They would then have only one game in hand and would remain a point behind us.

You never know which Everton team will turn up of course. Some weeks they look as if they are back to their best; the next they look bloody hopeless. Hopefully Arteta will show the same form as he displayed against Newcastle and Saha will have his shooting boots on. A two goal defeat for Birmingham would do us very nicely as we would then have a superior goal difference too.

I warned that they might pay a high price for their League Cup victory. Here's hoping!

Barca - Football from another planet - But West Ham could do it!

Now I'm not being silly here, we can't do the Messi bit in the final third I accept, but that apart, we could learn a lot from watching Barcelona tonight. It's not the attacking that left me breathless, but the way Barca play when they DON'T have the ball.

Arsenal did not have a single shot all night. Why? Because they couldn't get the ball out of their own half! Inside twenty minutes I was calling for the introduction of Arshavin and Chamakh and for Arsenal to go long ball. Their attempt to play the ball out from the back was clearly not working because of the way EVERY Barcelona player pressed. In effect, Barcelona defended on the edge of the Arsenal penalty box!

So time and time again, Arsenal managed three or four passes and then lost the ball and, because Barcelona were winning the ball in Arsenal's half, and more often than not in the final third of the pitch, launching an attack was then easy. When you win the ball that high up the pitch, you only need two passes to open up a shot on goal!

The other thing that was fascinating was the number of times Barcelona players drifted offside, looped behind a defender and then came back on in a "blind" position. The ball retention was beautifully simple with Barcelona lining up five players across the pitch like a rugby three quarters line and moving the ball sideways, backwards, sideways, sideways, sideways, waiting, waiting, waiting, then Messi steps back onside and the ball is released and everybody springs into action. It is almost counter intuitive. Instead of piling players into the box, Barcelona ignore the penalty box until the trap is sprung, with until that point, all bar one of the players parallel to or behind the man in possession. There is no centre forward, there are no strikers as such, it is fascinating to watch and a whole new way of playing football.

Of course Messi has sublime skill but it is his movement and patience that opens up teams more than any devastating passing or fantastic dribbling. I'm not saying we can do what Barca can do with the ball but we can reproduce the movement of the man furthest forward, this tactic of going offside and looping behind the defenders whilst the ball is retained.

We can also press like Barcelona, pinning opponents in their own half rather than closing on the half way line. It won't work against the likes of Bolton, they will go long ball, but it would work against Spurs for example.

Arsenal will moan about the sending off but Van Persie was always going to see red after that flare up in the first half. Wenger should have pulled him off at half time. I don't believe for one moment that he didn't hear the whistle but the red card was ridiculous regardless, as absurd as Piquionne's sending off at Everton. What a mad game it is when Carragher doesn't see red for that potential leg breaker on Nani but Van Persie sees red for having a shot after the whistle was blown. Common sense? Referees are devoid of it obviously!

Anyway, I hope Grant was watching tonight and that Ba, Cole and Piquionne start working on the offside, onside routine. It's pretty easy to do, providing you have midfielders with the intelligence to retain the ball until a player steps on unseen and in space. In Noble and Hitz, we have players with that ability!

And Barca play in their version of claret and blue!

Grant Cocks Up Again! Brady Will Be Delighted!

When the team went clay pigeon shooting and go kart racing as a team bonding exercise, Queen Karren complained it was because the management couldn't find anywhere sunny, writing in The Sun (ironically), "Our plan to send the players on a warm-weather break collapsed because the management couldn't find anywhere warm."

Well, wouldn't you know it, Avram has taken the squad to Portugal and it is pissing it down! Brady will be sniggering all the way through her weekly waxing!

I've been to Portugal in late February and it was cold and hacked it down all week. Might I suggest to Avram that he considers the Canary Islands next time!

Tomkins at right back shows the way forward

I'm not a fan of Tomkins being used as a right back, he is far too good a centre half to be wasted in that role and lacks the crossing ability when in advanced positions to fulfil the right back role, but the tactic employed by Grant against Stoke shows the advantage of having tall men in the defensive positions. Our priority should therefore be to source a pacey and tall right back to play in that position next season.

I like Jacobsen but he is, like Ilunga, short on inches. Spector has the height but lacks the composure and ability to do the job and Faubert is too short, too indisciplined positionally and is leaving anyway. Jordan Spence may be the answer and his loan spell at Bristol City could be the making or breaking of the lad. However, even if we are only looking for Jordan's understudy, the brief should be to find somebody with pace AND physical stature.

Most agree that the squad is now looking very good but, if we do stay up, we still face problems for next season. Upson will almost certainly leave and da Costa and Tomkins are too inexperienced a pairing to start as first choice together. We will need to find a leader for the back four therefore. Bridge is only on loan, of course, so he will leave in the summer, unless Man City fancy giving him away and paying 50% of his wages until his present contract runs down. That's a possibility but is unlikely.

We therefore need a right back, a centre back and a left back in the summer. Any ideas?

Blackpool Lose Again - That's 9 defeats in 12!

Are Blackpool doing a Sheffield United? Two wins in the last 12 games certainly suggests so. They have now taken 7 points from the last 36. Average that out over a season and they would end up with 22 points!

Typically, they showed great spirit again tonight, pulling back a goal despite being three down; but is spirit enough? And having conceded seven in their last two games, is that spirit now at breaking point?

We are a point behind the Tangerine Dreamers with a superior goal difference. If they average the same number of points per game over the next 9 matches as they have done over the last 12, they will finish on 37 points.

Liverpool's Carragher should be on FA Charge for THAT Foul!

The more I see it, the more premeditated and disgraceful it looks. I know Carragher is a carthorse these days but not even he is that slow and clumsy surely. There is NO attempt to play the ball and plenty of leg breaking intent from what I can see.

West Ham fans have been having a pop at Shawcross for the foul on Parker, but I believe the lad was just fractionally late with that one. It happens.

The Rafael challenge looked bad but he had been raked from behind and never made contact anyway. The Micah Richards challenge against Wigan was bad and deserved red, but at least he was going for the ball, albeit recklessly.

Watch that Carragher challenge again, however. His eyes light up at the prospect of doing Nani and the studs look to me as if they are aimed at the shin. What's worse is the way the foot turns on impact and rakes downwards in what looks like a malicious attempt to injure. Carragher may claim otherwise but this is the yob who boasts in his biography that he considered getting his mates to do over Lucas Neill when the Aussie was spotted in a shopping centre.

There is no place in the game for that type of tackle. Never mind a Rooney elbow, that isn't going to end a career. Carragher's challenge made me wince and the FA should hit him where in hurts in return. Ban the bastard for a stretch!

Huge Game Tonight!

In this topsy turvey, utterly illogical season, how typical would it be if Blackpool turned over Chelsea tonight? And that would be an utter disaster if it were to happen.

That freak result against Spurs apart, the wheels have come off big time for Ollie's boys and they must be a good bet for the drop if they get a pounding today. The 4-0 hammering at Wolves shows how ordinary this Blackpool team really is and Chelsea have every incentive to put them to the sword, with the race on for third and fourth place and Champions League qualification.

Defoe did us a huge favour with his two goals at Wolves - amazingly his first Premiership goals since last April - and we could do with another old boy stepping up to the plate tonight. No not Marlon, Frank!

I am a Plastic fan tonight. Let's hope they don't just win, we could do with them destroying the Tangerine Dreamers, hammering their goal difference and confidence in the process.

Clattenbung May Quit! Party Time for Piquionne!!!

Well I won't shed any tears if he does, and Freddie Piquionne should send him a card saying, "Not a moment too soon" following the disgraceful decision to disallow our last kick of the game winner at Wolves.

There will be lots of chest thumping, lots of people saying that the poor referees are in an impossible position, but some of these decisions are disgraceful. The Clattenbung one at Wolves was one of the worst I have ever seen because he was behind Piquionne when he made the call so it was impossible for him to see a handball, even if Freddie had handled it - which, of course, he didn't.

We may yet be relegated because of that decision, a decision that Clattenbung was impossibly placed to make. His arrogance in striking off that goal was incredible, and his failure to apologise afterwards and for labelling Piquionne a cheat by booking him, was disgraceful.

Go Clattenbung, go. And good riddance I say! But I suspect Ferguson will talk him out of it by offering him a new contract!

Should KUMB be stoking fires of football violence?

I do wonder at the wisdom of KUMB running a thread entitled "COWARDS" and reporting on how a handful of Hammers fans were attacked in Green Street by Stoke yobs yesterday. KUMB end the report with the prophesy "The incidents are likely to provoke further problems when West Ham travel to Stoke next weekend for the FA Cup quarter final" and now that is virtually guaranteed.

This sort of "reporting", especially under such a provocative headline, is highly irresponsible. The last thing we need is for our fans to go on the rampage next weekend. I have been hugely impressed with the way rival fans often mix together in the queue for the tube after games, with no sort of violence or intimidation in evidence. That is the new face of football that we should be reporting, not "stoking" (poor pun sorry) aggression and violence by making a mountain out of the molehill of some nasty incidents outside the ground on Saturday.

The best response from West Ham fans next weekend would be to conga in celebration of yet another victory. I fear, however, that thanks to KUMB, some mindless idiots are already planning retaliation. And if it kicks off at Stoke, what will happen at Tottenham?

Very silly on the part of KUMB. Very silly, very irresponsible and very dangerous. Are they really THAT desperate to achieve hits?

And whilst I am about it, why does every visit to KUMB send by Norton Virus checker into overdrive? Clear out the tracking cookies guys, it really aint the right way to treat West Ham fans visiting the site!

Two Points Behind Villa!

That shows what a crazy season this is! Villa are not a team who should be within a millions miles of being relegated. I know they lost Milner, but in Young, Ivebonkedawhore, Downing, Bent, Petrov, Collins and Friedel, they have the basis of a top 6 team. But instead, they are hovering above the precipice, staring over the edge.

Part of the problem is Houllier. They have also suffered from injuries, but not as badly as we have! When they murdered us on the opening day of the season, I thought they were an outside bet for a Champions League place, but then the Premiership went crazy, starting with Villa's 6-0 thumping at Newcastle.

I don't think Villa will go down, I simply use them to illustrate how crazy the division is this year. But, whilst we are on the subject of teams in Claret and Blue being too good to go down, Villa might like to think back to our last relegation: Carrick, Cole, Kanoute, Di Canio, Defoe, Johnson, Sinclair...is Villa's team any better than that?

One more thing. Ahead of our Cup game at Stoke, Grant might like to keep in mind what happened to Villa yesterday after Houllier decided to play a weakened team in the cup at Man City. Momentum is important and Cup success feeds success in the League; sacrifice momentum by picking an understrength team and the reverse may well happen!

Out of the Bottom Three But...

So we are out of the bottom three but any celebrations and talk of guaranteed survival are a tad premature. For starters, Birmingham have games in hand and seem likely to pick up enough points from them to climb above us. West Brom's win at St Andrews was very bad news indeed. Then there's the little matter of Wolves playing Tottenham tomorrow. Never mind that McCarthy's men seem to be Tottenham's bogey team, Spurs have the little matter of A C Milan on their minds. Wolves look a good bet to win to me.

Most would identify Wigan as favourites for the drop but they were incredibly unlucky to lose at Man City. It was a Green like error that cost them the goal and they could easily have netted three times themselves. And City were lucky not to be reduced to 10 men in the first half after a shocking foul by Micah Richards.

The trouble is, West Brom, Wolves, Birmingham and ourselves are all "too good" to go down, but between us, we have occupied the bottom spots all season. Maybe, just maybe, Blackburn and Blackpool are about to step into our graves as the season draws to its close, but would anybody bet on it? Blackpool's victory over Spurs illustrated perfectly what a crazy season this is!

People are talking about 40 points being enough. I doubt it. We went down with 42 before and I reckon that needs to be the minimum target, with 43 necessary for absolute peace of mind. Back to back wins have given us a great chance of surviving but things may look different after games against Spurs and Man Utd. The pressure is on and this will go down to the wire!

West Ham 3 Stoke 0 - Well Played Avram!

Wow. What a couple of weeks! That second half come back against West Brom! The hammering of  Burnley! That masterclass against Liverpool! And now a clean sheet and three goals scored at the other end! We have now netted 14 goals in the last three and a half games, conceding just 2 in reply! Going down? We might yet but this is pulsating stuff!

We were very good today. Not superb because we didn't have to be to beat this Stoke team; but there were signs of a fantastic team spirit. I loved the high fives and pats on the back. I loved the smiles. I loved the determination shown all over the pitch. And I loved the standing ovations afforded Ba, Cole and Parker when they were withdrawn from the fray. The crowd were still more subdued than they should be - the Stoke fans will put us to shame next week - but that apart, there was a real buzz about West Ham. We aren't just winning, we are playing well and enjoying it.

And I reckon Grant's critics aught now to apologise. The guy isn't just rotating players, he is picking teams and formations to suit the opposition. Last week, he used O'Neil to protect us from the driving runs of the Liverpool wing backs. This week, O'Neil was replaced by Cole, and Jacobsen by da Costa to deal with the aerial threat of Stoke. On both occasions, Grant got it spot on and, for the second home game in a row, we looked pretty damn solid at the back.

Up front, the movement and interplay of Ba, Cole and Piquionne was a joy today. It took about 15 minutes to click but after that, Stoke were at sixes and sevens trying to work out which big black guy was coming at them from where. They swapped positions, they pulled wide, they dropped deep, they played in midfield runners (and Bridge up the left flank), they switched the play across the full width of the pitch, they pressed Stoke when not in possession and they came off the flanks into goal scoring positions superbly.

In midfield Parker was superb. At last we are using him correctly, he is anchoring and only driving forward when sure there is cover behind. Look at the protection he gave to Bridge today, screening that left flank when Bridge ranged forward. For every free kick and corner, Parker was staying at home, protecting our goal instead of taking the corners or loitering outside the box. And when he ranged forward, he was incisive and effective. The run and pull back for the third goal was brilliant, as was the way Noble held the ball and slipped Scotty in. Piquionne was unlucky his shot was blocked but what a finish from Hitzlsperger! That ball was travelling and if Bergovic had got his hand on it, he would have needed it stitched on again afterwards! Noble claimed an assist with the first goal, playing in Ba and Hitz put in the free kick for da Costa's goal, so all three in midfield did their jobs brilliantly.

Cole so so nearly scored with two delicious curling shots and also forced Bergovic into an excellent save after harrying a Stoke defender into a terrible error; and Tomkins was unlucky with a header against the post. In the first half, apart from the goals, Piquionne missed a sitter. We really could have scored six today.

At the other end, Matty, Jones and Fuller caused us a few problems after they came on, but Green only had one real save of note to make. Apart from one flap at a cross from Green, we dealt with high balls into the box superbly, with Grant beating Pulis at his own game by selecting a team of giants. But we didn't sacrifice our style of football whilst we were about it! Come on Stani, Sav and all you other Grant critics, take a deep breath and give Avram the credit he deserves for this.

Defensively, I was hugely impressed with the way Tomkins adjusted to playing right back and with the leadership of Upson. there was one fantastic tackle when he was the last man and only one occasion when he got the wrong side of Jones, giving away a free kick as a result. da Costa had Carew in his pocket all afternoon, forcing the withdrawal of the Villa man, and generally played very well, scoring with a beautiful header from a delicious Hitzlsperger free kick. Yes he was half asleep when Fuller so nearly slammed home another great goal at Upton Park, but the ball flashed inches wide anyway so it didn't really matter. Where Tomkins was brilliant defensively, Bridge was excellent ranging forward, giving us width on the left.

So, with a defensive unit that looked tight, a midfield that saw all three clock up an assist and one score, and three forwards who were on fire, this was a very promising performance indeed. Ignoring the Cup, we have Tottenham and Man Utd next. It's about to become a little bit more difficult but this team, with this manager, may just be up for the challenge!

Player Ratings: Green 6; Tomkins 8, da Costa 8, Upson 8, Bridge 8; Noble 8, Parker 9, Hitzlsperger 9; Ba 8, Cole 8, Piquionne 7

Half Time West Ham 2 Stoke 0 - Stay away Matty, Kenwyne and Ricardo!

Well so far, so bloody good. It is 2-0 and we should have had a third, with Piquionne missing a sitter, trying to tuck it inside the near post when he should have been aiming at the far corner. Der Hammer also nearly scored, with another blast from outside the box that forced a good save.

The first goal was perhaps a tad fortunate. Noble did well to lift the ball into space between the back four and Ba showed great perseverance to follow it through and run it into the net; but in truth the keeper and Wilson should have dealt with it between them. How ironic that two ex Avram men handed us the first goal on a plate!

Goal two was much better. Scotty won the free kick, Hitz sent it in with lovely whip and da Costa jumped as high as he did against Villa last season (when a penalty was incorrectly given because it seemed as if he had to have climbed) and headed home beautifully.

So far, everything is going to plan. The defence have been strong in the air and we have done Stoke at the other end from a set piece. Oh the ironies of ironies! We lack support down the right flank when going forward because Tomkins is not a right back but, if that is the price we have to pay for keeping Stoke out, then fair enough. So far, da Costa has won everything lumped forward for Carew. However, Ba has been superb coming in off the left, Piquionne has made some intelligent runs, Cole is moving intelligently and the midfield is linking well.

The big worry is how Pulis will respond. He will certainly lay in to his charges at half time and demand more from them. Will Etherington be risked? In which case Tomkins will have a more difficult second half. I thought Fuller had gone but he is on the bench. He did da Costa last season and might fancy another go. And then there is Kenwyne. He is due a goal.

First 15 minutes of the second half are going to be crucial. In fact the next 48 or 49 minutes are crucial. Following West Brom's victory, we HAVE to take all three points from this one. A boost to the goal difference also wouldn't go amiss! If Stoke score early, it will get tense!

Team Selection - Grant Surprises Everybody Again!

So, da Costa is in for Jacobsen! To play right back? Or is Tomkins being moved out to the right, to a position Grant used him in during pre season friendlies?

You can see what Grant is trying to do, packing the team with big tall guys to combat Stoke's aerial threat. Cole, Piquionne, Ba, Tomkins, Upson, da Costa - they are there to deal with the biggest aerial bombardment of East London since the Blitz. The question is, will this team knit together in other areas?

Team for today:

Green

da Costa,      Tomins,   Upson,    Bridge

Noble,   Parker,  Hitzlspurger

Piquionne,                                    Ba

Cole, 

West Brom Win at Birmingham - The Mountain Gets Steeper!

After that result, anything less than a victory today will spell disaster! You could argue that Birmingham are struggling too but they have games in hand. A draw would have been ok, a West Brom victory is bad news with a capital B and N!