Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Allardyce condemns Fat BarStewards United!

So there we have it, Doctor Evil is shocked by the poor fitness levels of the squad. Quite why, is anybody's guess.

Didn't he see us play last season? Didn't he notice how the team only seemed able to play for 45 minutes in every game? It doesn't say a lot for his skills of observation that he missed what was obvious to every supporter who witnessed the humiliating apology for performances over the last 18 months.

When did it all start going wrong? When Zola brought in his Italian fitness team, or when Sullivan and Gold sacked them? To be fair to the Italians, stamina appeared far more of an issue last season than in the season before, so it looks like the buck here stops at the Dildo Brothers. By trying to save money, it looks like they cut the throat of our Premiership life!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know you're one of the greatest wits on the 20th century but why is he doctor evil?

Hammersfan said...

Becuase he employed Mini Me Sammy Lee and is hell bent on destroying football as a beautiful game.

Claret The Entertainer said...

Err Sammy Lee does NOT work for West Ham!

Maybe once, Just once you could look at the positives here eh? OK, so he has just ANNOUNCED that he thinks the team are unfit! It doesn't mean that he has JUST REALISED. Grants worked with them for a year and he didn't know!

I know this site is a parody and some of your posts are marginally amusing but there comes a point in every West Ham bloggers life where he must stop and think "hang on, this isn't funny or correct" and this me ol' son is one of those times! :)

Peace out

Anonymous said...

@HF

Sammy Lee isn't part of SA backroom team!
Thank god.

Hammersfan said...

Claret and 1958, I know Lee hasn't joined us. Employed is in the past tense is it not?

Claret, you have missed the point of the article. The point is that Sullivan and Gold sacked the fitness team put in place by Zola and Nani. I'm not fond of giving credit to those two but I suspect that was one thing they got right!

Claret The Entertainer said...

HF, in all seriousness, do you really expect any different from G&S? It seems the ONLY people that are surprised we got relegate are them!

I know it's early days and the distinct lack of movement in the transfer window is quite worrying but you have to admit, they seem to be taking the right steps this time to try and rectify things.

Hammersfan said...

Do they, how? They are trying to sell Parker and Cole and, Nolan apart, we have not brought in anybody of any calibre.

Claret The Entertainer said...

Love him or hate him, Sam is a solid manager and just what is needed to get promotion! They could have easily gone for the cheaper alternatives (Jones, McLeish etc...)

Parker just has to go! 31 years old and a fee of £7.5Million is too good to turn down. They guy is alright but unfortunately I am not one of these sycophants that spends their life idolising the "LEGEND"that is Scott Parker! He was no more than a good player in a bad team.

As far as Cole is concerned, the fact that they are willing to let the sack of crap leave is nothing but a good thing in my book!

Dave said...

Claret The Entertainer - liking the style mate!

Claret The Entertainer said...

20:11 now I really know you are a piss taker how the hell can you give credit to the dildo brothers for sacking the fitness team? you really are below contempt!

Claret The Entertainer said...

Thanks Dave, just the way I see it mate :)

Hammersfan said...

By those two I meant Nani and Zola! Credit for bringing in the fitness team! S&G sacked them and the stamina problems emerged! Try to keep up mate, although I accept my wording was a little ambiguous!

Claret The Entertainer said...

HF, yeah I kinda got what you meant but I was picking up on your dislike of G&S. I was merely saying that , yes I agree, they did get rid of the old fitness regime but I also think that relegation has given them a major bite in the arse and they are trying to do something about their mistakes?

Claret The Entertainer said...

HF, can I also please point out that 20:11 is NOT me! It seems to be another of your idiot inbred spammers mate.

Deane said...

a bit of advice Claret try reading and understanding the blog and then think of a counter argument then reply carefully Slow down a little and things make much more sense
Something I'd really like to learn is exactly what SuGo are doing that leads you to assume that they are 'taking the right steps this time to try and rectify things.'

Hammersfan said...

You mean 2249 presumably? Fair enough mate!

Anonymous said...

So what was Grant doing the whole season? Did he even look at stats? Interesting you've dodged this and blamed G+S. But I suppose he'd still be our manager if it were up to you!!! Remember that before every post you write.

Dave said...

Claret - as I said I like your style and certainly advocate to the "saying it as I see it" philosophy. I agree with you re Parker, I agree with you re Cole (lol). Although I'm not a fan of Fat Sams but I largely agree with you re him as well (still don't like him though). However don't get me started on the Dildos or we'll be here for days (ask Hammersfan). It's all about opinions at the end of the day but let's not forget the one thing we all have in common - We all love sex! Sorry I meant West Ham! (oops..wrong blog).

COYI

Claret The Entertainer said...

Deane, what you on about? I think it's you that needs to learn to read posts!

My replies make more sense than yours you idiot!

if you can't see that G%S are making improvements to our promotion chances, then you need to go follow a different sport!

Now, you slooooowww down and think before you post! idiot!