"Hi, is that Mr Hammersfan? Hi there, it's Chrissy here, 36-23-34, favourite position reverse cowboy, I'm ringing from the West Ham ticket office to ask if you realise that you have forgotten to renew your season ticket for the coming season?"
"As you know, the club is offering a fantastic deal, holding prices at 2010-11 levels, giving you the amazing opportunity to watch N-Power Championship football at the same price as you paid for Premiership football last season. The good news is, of course, that we may win more than five home games in the coming season."
"We have, of course, been inundated with season ticket renewal applications, so have decided to extend the window for renewing tickets and, whilst processing the mountain of applications, we are calling to give all those who have not yet applied the opportunity to do so."
"If not interested in renewing your season ticket, you may be interested in our wonderful Energy Switch service. Let us find the best gas and electricity deal for you and support your club by giving us a cut of the commission."
"If that does not appeal, perhaps you would like to place an order for our new replica shirts, available at a very special price, plus £25 postage and packing."
"Alternatively, we could have a different kind of conversation if you call me on the Premium Rate "I'm Chrissy and I'll Blow Your Bubbles" chatline service. Simply call 0895 6969696969. You know the owners think you are wankers so why not enjoy yourself and support the club by knocking one off for the boys in Claret & Blue?"
"We are West Ham United, we are the footballing whores of the N Power Championship!"
17 comments:
It's called a business being run properly......for the first time EVER.
Get used to it, welcome to how it should have always been and look forward to growth.
Not yet Hf, but just as well maybe as I almost blew my load reading about yours (lol)
"I'm Chrissy and I'll Blow Your Bubbles" (classic)
coyfilthyirons
YEP 2158, A FANTASTICALLY WELL RUN CLUB, SO FANTASTIC THAT WE ARE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP!
Mate,
The level of stupidity consistently demonstrated on these "blog" "articles" is amazing.
Surely there are roads near you that need sweeping?
Mate, nobody makes you read them and plenty seem to disagree!
hf i think your being a bit hard lol on the dildo brothers atleast there trying in fairnes to em there trying to sell a product ie season tickets for the championship in a recession so give em a chance
It is all just so naff, aint it? 21:58 misses the point. Point is, you don't just forget to renew your fkin season ticket. The lack of renewals thus far indicates either that thousands are not going to bother this year, or maybe that they're awaiting transfer developments before committing. In either case, some bimbo ringing around to 'remind' people that they haven't renewed isn't going to alter a bloody thing!
22:50 Christ you've finally got it.... we DO disagree with YOU!
23:20 what a Neanderthal sexist remark that is, Chrissy from telesales must be a bimbo must she? why's that exactly? because she's not a teacher perhaps? you're an absolute pig.
running a business properly it's not a bloody business it's a football club
Only shit teams have to be run properly to assure survival
Oh right I get your point
Erm, you haven't mentioned scotty going to Chelsea - I wonder why? is it because it's a positive whereas you only deal in negatives?
IF Scotty goes to Chelsea, I will mention it - but Chelsea fans don't want him! WHEN he joins Tottenham, I will more than mention it! Born a Spud, always a Spud!
0622, is that the name you use in chat rooms when posing as a nubile babe? Is that what turns you on mate? Do you have the wardrobe too? Do you like the feel of silk on your hairy legs? Do satin panties give you a thrill? Do you hoover the house in stockings and suspenders when your mother uses her bus pass to go to ASDA?
By the way, I very much doubt that Chrissy is a bimbo. She sits on her arse all day, calling people. No exercise, probably lots of buns, you could probably land an Airbus on her arse!
If you look in Chrissy, and that isn't true, send in some pics and we will do a "West Ham Babe of the Week" feature. If true, send in a pic and we will do a "Mrs McBenni" feature.
Don't fret, us West Ham fans will still be at the games.
HEADmaster has proved himself to a complete misogynist! in his world telesales girls are bimbos - oh dear, did the socialists teach you nothing?
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