Muck Spreading all the way down the M4!

Come on Bristol Rovers! One game from a Wembley semifinal, two games from the cup final itself! The scarecrows are getting so exciting the straw is coming out of their ears, "We're off to see the Wizard.." - all hoping to find a new turnip for a brain! Who needs Johnny Depp - it's the Pirates of the West Country! The muck spreaders are revving their engines as we speak and the pretty girls are all climbing aboard the posh combine 'arvesters. "Oh he's so gorgeous, he's got a bright red Combi you know!" Brothers and sisters are having sex as we speak in celebration. Snake bites with blackcurrant tops are being downed! Oooh Arrrrr, Oooh Aaaarrr! Come on you Wurzles, you can do it! Is must be bedlam down there at the moment?

Sweating Turds

Hmmm, up beat didn't last long. Weak draw at home to Wigan, broken leg for Dyer (surprise surprise!) and inept second half performance against the mighty Bristol Rovers. Adriano won't join us - the dinners aren't big enough I'd guess looking at his bulk - Anelka has signed a new contract at Bolton (so he will move in January then!) and I'm worried that we still don't have a left back, a viable alternative up front (how bad was Zamora at Rovers!!!!) and we are still thin creatively in midfield. Turds must still be sweating as he looks up at Gollum's gloomy face in the stands!

More trouble at the Blunted Blades with the finess coach quitting - any truth in the rumour that he didn't agree with Red Stripe's liquid diets?