Wags and Chavs

With salaries rocketing so high, four of our footballing superstars are feeling so rich this weekend that they are taking their first tentative steps towards a divorce settlement!

Speaking of Chav weddings, what does a Chav wedding and the betrothal of Sir Paul McCartney to Heather have in common? Only in a Chav wedding is the bride legless before the ceremony!

Epileptic Games

Why all this controversy over the 2012 London Olympics logo? Has the whole nation failed to spot Blair's master plan? Recognising that we don't stand a "Watford in the Premiership's" chance of winning any golds in the real games, Blair is hoping to turn the whole nation epileptic so we can increase our medal haul in the Special Olympics. This perhaps explains why MRSA is running unchecked through our hospitals - every lost leg is another potential medal! Before we know it Heather Mills will be the "Face of our Olympic challenge".

Sorry, bad taste I know. Only pulling your leg Heather!

Mind you, if that's bad taste, I've just found this on the net (and it's true!) : "Born in January 1968, Heather Mills McCartney is a Patron of Adopt-A-Minefield"; you couldn't write it could you? There's your minefield Heather, hop to it!"

Queudrue Believe It?

So Reading have turned down our bid for Shorey. Well, let's just pick up Queudrue instead. You can bet your life that 'Arry will be sniffing now Frank has announced he wants out of the Cottage but surely West Ham will have more appeal? He has to be a better bet than McCartney who, even on his very best days, looks about as one footed as his namesake Heather.