Curbishley v Pardew

Obviously we could make this comparison from a number of angles - signings, tactics, training methods and the like. The debate on http://www.westhamfans.org/ has been interesting and, for me, informative. If the rumours about Pardew are true, I now understand why he lost the dressing room and I've found the debate about fitness training eye opening. There is another dimension still. Why, even though, in truth, his record wasn't that great, is Pardew still so popular. How did he recover from the dreadful start and the ludicrous tactics and substitutions in the play off final against Palace? What is it about the man that makes me yearn for his return, even though, during his first turbulent 12 months, I would have gladly chaired a "Sack Pardew" Society and I fully recognise the stupidity of his failure to build a team around Tevez and Mascherano? Is my affection for Pardew simply a nostalgic reaction against "long ball" Curbishley?

It's not difficult to landmark when Pards won me over - it was the play off semifinal against Ipswich and that brilliant "Moore than just a football club" top. Suddenly he stopped being an outsider, an arrogant sod who preached to us misinformed fans, and became part of the soul of the Club. Yes he had trotted out the mantra before, but suddenly he belonged. By demonstrating personal humility when on the threshold of his greatest personal triumph, he suddenly joined the pantheon, a lesser god, but a god none the less through association with, and his apparently genuine respect for, our heritage. It may just have been clever self marketing of course but I fell in love with him as he walked down the touchline in that top. From there, he seemed to get it right every time he spoke to the cameras. He wanted to win but win in the West Ham way. We had an obligation to play with style. For West Ham fans winning wasn't enough. Maybe I was duped, but I lapped it up! There was that dance on the touchline. There was the genuine joy. There was the interaction with the fans, sharing our joy, sharing our excitement. There was that argument with Wenger. There were his comments about too many foreigners in the game. There was his knocking of Sven. He sounded like one of us, a bit cocky, but punching above his weight and doing it with style.

And that was Pardew to me, a guy with style. And he was so positive! He knew somehow that we were destined to get to that Cup Final and he was clever, or respectful enough, to link it all in with Greenwood, to keep paying tribute to the true greats behind the club. Did he ever moan about his luck? Perhaps I have a good editing facility in my brain but I can't remember him doing it. I remember him admitting to getting it wrong when he fielded an understrength team ahead of the Cup game against City, but I don't remember him complaining about the Board's failure to invest in the squad. He accepted the defeat was his fault.

Now, contrast all this with Curbishley. Everybody knows I don't like him and I come from a negative position, but I didn't like Pardew at first! Whereas Pardew had style, Curbishley, it seems to me, is the footballing equivalent of Primark - perfect for a club like Charlton but totally wrong for West Ham. He just hasn't got it somehow. He looks desperate on that touchline. He sounds like a parody of an Eastender, his accent is so unrefined. He looks and acts like a guy from a different era, the era of the big rosette and the football rattle. But he brings none of the nostalgic charm of that era with him. It is a sort of "in your face naffness".

Whereas Pardew tapped into the past and enlisted the ghosts of Moore and Greenwood into his motivational team, Curbishley seems to be frightened of that past, terrified of comparison despite being a child of the era. Perhaps it goes back to his departure as a player, moaning that if you play in midfield for West Ham you're told to pass it to Devonshire and Brooking. He was third best then and that inferiority complex hangs like a millstone round his neck. As a player he had to take the safe option because he wasn't good enough to play the dangerous ball and that mentality pervades his thinking as a manager. I suspect there is, in truth, a bitterness inside him. At Charlton he was top dog, a true god; at West Ham, he is what he always was, an also ran. As a result, he has lost sight of what we stand for. He can't focus on that brilliant light because, as a player, he was blinded by it. He was raised to be a West Ham flair player but ended up a Birmingham and Villa utility man. So faced with the brilliance of our heritage, he dons shades and tries to avoid the light, the light that we, the true fans who are at one with the soul of the club, want to always be a part of. Pardew's brilliance was to step into that light and invite us all inside it; Curbishley's inferiority complex, makes him terrified of the spotlight, terrified of comparison with the greats who he could never measure up to.

People keep saying give him time. My reply is, you can hang a Primark suit in your wardrobe for as long as you like and it will never turn into Armani.

From out of the mouth of Turds...

Turds quoted in The Sun... "...the problem with being a manager is the despair of defeat is greater than the joy of winning...The Premier League is about doing everything you can to survive...At some stages last season I was accused of not being passionate enough. But when I threw a bottle when we lost a goal in injury time to Bolton people said I'd lost it. I don't know where to go from there." Imagine reading this on the coach on the way to the game! Inspiring words ahead of the Derby game? Can you imagine Jose talking like that? Or Wenger? Or Greenwood? Or Pardew? Can you imagine wanting to sign or play for a manager who sounds so depressed, so down, so negative? In answer to Turds dilemma about "where to go from there", may I suggest retirement? The poor old boy is 50 after all!

We bear a charmed life

Shakespeare quotes as slogans for Premiership Clubs:

West Ham: "Tevez or not Tevez? That is the question" or, in view of how everybody now sees us, "Now you gods stand up for bastards!" (Edmund in King Lear) or in the light of our impossile escape "We bear a charmed life". (Macbeth) or "Then was the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of Argentina." or a cautionary tale, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend"!

Spurs: "Hath not a Jew eyes, hands, organs, senses, dimensions? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not capitulate in the last game of the season, handing our Champions League place on a plate to our bitterest rivals?" (Shylock, Merchant of Venice)

Chelsea: "We are a club more sinned against than sinning" (Lear in Lear) or "Friends, Roman, countrymen, Lend us your billions" (Mark Anthony in JC) or with the Special One in mind, "Though this be madness, yet there is method in it."

Arsenal: "Cry God for Henry, France and Saint Joan!"

Liverpool (in the light of their most recent attempt to re-enact Heysel: "Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red!" (Macbeth)

Man City (in the light of Ranierri's defection): "O Claudio Claudio, where for art thou Claudio?"

Sheffield United under Warnock: "Out, out, brief candle! Hope is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the Premiership stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" (Macbeth) or "By foul play, as thou say'st, were we heaved thence" (The Tempest) or "Hag-seed, hence!" (The Tempest)

Sheffield United under Robson: "Drink, Sir, is a great provoker of three things, nose-painting, sleep and urine. Lechery, it provokes, and unprovokes: it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance." (The Porter in Macbeth)

Bolton: 'Tis a team, sir,I do not love to look on." (Miranda in The Tempest) or "O, woe is me,To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!" or "They have been at a great feast of football, and stolen the scraps."

Derby: "The old black ram is tupping your white ewe" or translated, "Be careful, your chairman is shafting your manager!"

Blackburn: "All hail McCarthy, once of Porto, All hail MaCarthy now of Blackburn, All hail MaCarthy that shall be at Chelsea hereafter." (Witches in Macbeth)

Newcastle: "A defence, a defence, my kingdom for a defence."

Man U: "Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing."

Watford: "Where the hornet sucks, there suck I; In a Championship hell I lie" (The Tempest) or "The attempt and not the deed Confounds us".

Charlton: "Alas, poor Dowie! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at it." or "Adieu, adieu" or, with Pards in mind, "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."

(Not Premiership I know!)

MK Dons "What's in a name?" (Juliet in R&J)

Norwich: "Where are ya? The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Leeds: "For 'tis the sport to have the engineer Hoist with his own petard" or "He that dies pays all debts".

More to follow!