Zola Tells A Whopper!

I'm not having that! Zola has just been quoted saying that the move of Lucas Neill into midfield was his idea. The little Italian fibber is quoted as saying, "It was my idea. I think Lucas Neill is a very intelligent player. I've played him right back, left back, central defender and he has always done a good job. He is intelligent and he has good technical ability, so I was 100 per cent sure that he would have done the job."

Now many might be asking, 'Why does the manager feel the need to claim the credit for tactical decisions anyway? Isn't that what he is paid for?'. Perhaps Zola's glee at actually making a decision gives us an insight into who exactly calls the tactical shots ordinarily. Step forward Mr Clarke?

But that is not what has provoked this post. Any long standing member of the Mordant Org will know that, in its more vibrant days, a tactical genius by the name of westham66 made this call way back in October! We laughed at him at the time, just as we laughed at his suggestion of playing LBM from the start of every game and moving Cole back to a holding midfield role! Who knows, 66 might have been right all along! Next season, Lucas may be our playmaker, Carlton our holding midfield man, and Boa might be the 20 goal a season man 66 always claimed he could be! And pigs might fly.

(Denbighammer says) The Long Ball Isn't Always The Wrong Ball

In my opinion our football is a bit too slow and predicatable at the moment. I watched the 1976 European game v.Frankfurt on YoutTube last night, our 1989 league cup win over Liverpool and some other games and I can't believe

A) How many chances we created over the course of a game and

B) How direct we were at times, even players like Dev and Sir Trev getting the ball forward to the strikers and bypassing midfield at times.

We've got to mix it up people! The short interpassing is great on the eye but the long ball can be a very effective weapon if used sparingly - as Liverpool have demonstrated in recent games.

Curbishley over used the "lump and hope" but is Zola under utilising the long ball? Remember how Sears got that one and only goal? Long ball, headed on by Ashton and bingo!

So, should we mix it up more?

Something for the weekend sir?

If your barber whispers those words, be careful, because based on the rest of this nightmare weekend, it will have a bloody great hole in it! Spurs beat Chelsea and move to within three points of us (how big a head start do we need to be sure of finishing above the Cockyfools?), Wigan beat Hull with a late goal and move above us into seventh, City look like pulling closer with a victory over Blunderland and, worst of all, Fulham beat United, close up to a point behind us, and give Liverpool and Chelsea extra incentive to pull off a result at Upton Park.

I am not too fussed about qualifying for Europe personally (the competition is absurd already and becomes even more stupid next season) but I do want to see some progress on last year and, if we are not careful, we could find ourselves back in tenth before the season ends. That really would be galling if only because Turds could smugly point to the fact that the club had "stagnated" since his departure.

Of course, Zola can only influence our own results but, as they say, over a full season, your position in the table does not lie. Back in October I predicted Tottenham would finish above us and I fear that will happen. They are on a roll and with Keane back and firing, they are a match for anybody. In fact, but for that terrible start, they would be in contention for a Champions League place. Personally, I'm in favour of West Ham building a statue of Oneday Ramos because without his contribution, Tottenham would definitely be back in Europe next season!

Let's hope the return of Dyer and Cole will see us banging in the goals again. It is a sobering thought that under boring boring Curbishley we scored 42 goals last season, whereas so far this season we have managed just 35, 8 of which were scored BEFORE Zola became manager. That gives Zola a return of just 27 goals from 26 league games, or one a game, less than we managed under Turds. Stats don't lie and for all our pretty approach play, our "goals for" tally is woeful.

Some will stupidly blame Cole for that or point the finger at Di Michele, but the strikers can only score if the team creates chances - and how many openings did we create against West Brom and Blackburn? Dyer may be part of the solution, as may be the return of Collison but to score more, we need to commit more players forward. Clarke is a cleverer version of Curbishley, a member of the safety first, "one point is better than none, if the opposition don't score we can't lose" school of tactics. I would like to see the shackles off at some point soon. Let's trade blows and see if we can score more than the opposition. I would take tenth with free flowing football over 7th secured by circling the wagons and parking the caravan.

Come on Zola, rev up the Ferrari and tell Clarke to leave the brown Volvo in the garage!

Zola To Be Drug Tested

Now we know why Zola is smiling all the time, he's been puffing the wacky backy. I don't hold with those who maintain that Parker is a liability because he dwells on the ball too long and pirouettes more than a ballet dancer on a gyroscope, but I do not understand how anybody can seriously suggest that he is currently the best midfield player in the Premiership.

How many goals has Parker scored this season exactly? How many assists? Yes he does his defensive duties well and yes he is all energy, but what does he offer going forward? The opposition penalty area seems like a total exclusion zone for Parker and I could count on one hand the number of passes he has completed over 20 yards so far this season. Do the pulses start to race when Parker picks up the ball? Do you find yourself thinking, "Something special is going to happen here"? I'm sorry, but I don't.

I am not knocking the guy, I think he has been one of our best players this season, but to mention him in the same breath as match winners like Lampard and Gerrard seems absurd to me. Parker does not punch in the same division as these two heavyweights. He can't skin defenders like Walcott and Young, he doesn't have the passing range of Carrick and he isn't as good a tackler or crosser as Barry. The fact is, Parker was pressed out of the game by West Brom and Villa. Each time he collected the ball, somebody was biting at his ankles and Parker looked flustered and hurried. And we all know that the mark of a very good player is that he always appears to have more time than mere mortals.

Capello was at the Villa game and witnessed Parker's discomfort, and Parker has not figured in an England squad subsequently. Capello looked less than impressed at Upton Park on Monday too so I would be very surprised to see Parker adding to his meagre number of England caps any time soon. Zola, of course, is probably just trying to boost morale after that abject performance against the Baggies but Parker is a big boy now and should not be in need of such crude kiddology. Save it for the little uns boss, Freddie Sears might be boosted if you told him he was still worth a place in his school team!

Wigan 0 West Ham 1; Reason 0 Attwell 5

If ever a referee did his best to destroy a game of football then it must surely be Attwell last night. This is the clown who gave the "goal that never was" when Watford played Reading; and for his follow up party piece, he showed a red for "a foul that never was" at the JJB last night. Poor Carlton Goals, he was dumbfounded that the referee had blown up for a free kick in the first place and before he knew what was going on, he was looking at red. And for what exactly? From what I could see, for keeping his eye on the ball and then getting his foot on the end of it. That foot which made contact with the ball did not connect with a Wigan player and no actual foul was committed. Yes I can accept the argument for a free kick for a high foot, but a red card? Dear God, on that basis Crouch should have been sent off for those overhead bicycle kick goals! I bet this guy is only a referee in his twenties because when he was a kid, nobody would pick him to play in the teams at lunchtime. He was the one left at the end of the selection process, fat and spotty, waiting for oft repeated words, "You're left with Attwell then. We have kick off". From what I have seen. he doesn't understand the first thing about football because he's never actually played the game. On the evidence of the Watford debacle, he doesn't even know that the round shaped thing has to go into one of the funny fishing nets for a goal to be awarded!

And what a shame because until Attwell's risible intervention, this was shaping up to be a cracker! What a goal! Yes you will see goals thumped in from long distance but this, for me, was the goal of the season. Six one touch pinged passes, Cole pulling off the shoulder of the last defender and curling in a beaut of a finish. Carlton has his critics, and sometimes he does look lumbering, like when through one on one with Kirkland, but some of his goals this season have been sublime - against Newcastle and Stoke in particular. This swivel and strike style of finish suits him perfectly, he gets a lovely bend on the shot as it curls into the net. In fact, the finish tonight was Zolaesque and there aren't many bigger compliments than that! How absurd that his glory was tarnished by Attwell's bid for the spotlight.

And it's not as if that was all the clown with the cards got wrong. Luckless SHOULD have gone. His foul on Cattermole was a would be leg breaker and, of course, set up the Wigan player's retaliation on Parker which rightfully led to his red. As soon as Neill did him, you knew there would be a reprisal, and Parker played his part to perfection, going down as if hit by a dumdum bullet and rolling in agony for maximum effect. Ten out of ten Scotty for sealing the decision!

Beyond that, there's not a lot to report. Defensively we were superb, the banks of four marshaling Wigan into blind alleys all evening. Tomkins got under a couple of crosses but, apart from that, was superb; Neill gave away possession in the centre circle and two unnecessary free kicks outside our box in the first fifteen minutes but was otherwise disciplined - except when apparently trying to break Cattermole's leg (Brown should have been the target Luckless!); Upson was his usual unfussy self; Ilunga was back to his best; Noble ran his heart out and twice nearly pinched a goal; Kovac has a problem when players run at him but was otherwise impressive, picking up bits and pieces in front of the back four and releasing short simple passes; Collison played one brilliant pass to Cole and was involved in so much neat, high speed interpassing; and Di Michele ran himself into the ground for the team. One player, Cole apart, has not been mentioned. Parker tonight was a giant. I have no time for Turds but the signing of both Parker and Upson were absolute masterstrokes. Tonight Parker tackled, covered, passed, drove forward, shot on target and signed the contract on Cattermole's dismissal. It truly was a midfield masterclass and we were so good in that crucial midfield area that Behrami was not missed at all!

Sadly, however, the night will be remembered for two cruel blows - the dismissal of Cole and the carbon copy of the Behrami injury suffered by Collison. I joked when Curbishley was in charge that he had refused to buy a sprig of lucky heather off a gypsy outside Upton Park and brought down a curse upon our club. Well Turds came out this week and bleated that Zola had been lucky with injuries. I bet the sad eyed bastard has been back to that gypsy, bought up the whole of her heath and asked her to extend the curse to Zola!

Kovac

I saw flashes on Sunday that suggested this guy can play with Parker. He isn't quite up to Prem speed yet but he has a physical presence that I think could intimidate opponents and release the other midfielders, Parker included, to break forward more. I counted twice that Parker ran beyond Cole on Sunday, actually trying to get on the end of the ball in the box. If Parker is to earn his massive salary he has to be more than a holding midfielder, he has to become a box to box player and offer us more going forward. There were glimpses against City that Kovac will release him to do this. Noble has been disappointing recently so I would like to see Zola persist with this pairing, teamed with the pace of Savio and Collison on the flanks.

I have also liked the way Di Michele has been linking play, filling up the midfield when we don't have possession and picking passes when we do. His turn and cross for Cole in the first half against City was pure class - and a more instinctive goal scorer would have either taken that on the volley or launched himself into a diving header. I'm not Beano's biggest fan because of his injury record and selfishness, but I think he would have scored that one, as he did against United at Old Trafford last season.

So, I suspect Kovac could be a key piece in Zola's jigsaw. If we ever get DumptyDyer and Beano Ashton fit, we could have a team to reckon with. And remember, Faubert will be back in the summer!