We are top of the Championship!

Great news guys, Allardyce has transformed the club from top to bottom, producing a lean, mean cynical machine a world apart from the disorganised rabble put together by Zola and Grant. All he needed was time for the team to gel to show how brilliant he is as a manager, and now, six months into the season, we are seeing what a truly fantastic job he has done!

I read his article in the Evening Standard on Friday and was so impressed by Allardyce's confidence. There was no mention of how poorly we have been playing, no allusion to our inability to score from open play, no acknowledgement that the last two games had been won on the back of dubious penalties, and no reference to the fact that we struggled to beat two teams in the bottom three at home, and a ten man Pompey team in the last three games. Three wins is three wins. End of.

No, Allardyce was boasting about three consecutive wins and telling us how we were on course, how everything was going to plan and how we had chased down Southampton and overhauled them. Now it was just a case of living with the added pressure of staying top and of seeing out the season. Easy! Especially when you get the ball into the box more than any other team in the division!

So what that we lost 3-0 at Reading? So what that the only time we have scored twice in a game since the beginning of December we needed two dodgy penalties to do so? So what that we have looked crap every time we have taken the field over the last two months? We are top you mugs! We are on top! That's all that matters! Top! Top! Top! Top! Top!

By the way, can anybody tell me the result of the game at Ipswich tonight? Sorry, I've been busy.