Why, why, why, Boa-Morte?

With no Cole, no Behrami and no Collison (not much point in mentioning the absence of Beano), the chances are we will see Luis Boa-Morte in action tomorrow. Some Hammers fans are confused by the "enigma" that is Boa, wondering how a player who looked so good before he joined us, can look so consistently awful in Claret and Blue. Those fans have selective memories of Boa before he was ours.

Let’s examine his record. Just 46 career goals during a playing career stretching to over 300 club games hardly represents "scoring for fun" does it? At full international level, playing in a very good Portugal team, he mustered a grand total of just 2 goals in 25 games. He did score for fun in his first season at Fulham, notching 18 of those 46 career goals in just 39 games - but that was in the Fizzy Pop!

And that, sadly, is where Boa belongs!

The Steady Crawl of the Caravan Brigade

Excuse me Alan, how about this for an odd idea? How about we go to Fulham tomorrow and attack the Craven Cottagers? How about we go 3-5-2 – The Beatle, Upson and Anton at the back, Faubert and Nobby as wide men (attacking wing backs), Mullins as the midfield anchor, Noble and Freddie breaking forward from midfield, and Ashton and Sears up front? How about sending a message Al, “We’re better than them so let’s go out and score some goals”? How about you park up the caravan Al, get out of the brown Volvo and jump into a bright red Ferrari instead, putting your foot to the floor? What’s that mate? We still need three points to be safe? A point at Fulham would be a useful stepping stone to survival? Alan? Alan? Wind down the window a second mate! Turn down Radio 2 mate! Oy Alan, mind what you’re doing with that bloody caravan, you nearly ran over my foot!

Turds for Manager of the Month!

Time to write whilst feeling up beat!!!!

Clean sheet without Neill and a recognised left back! In control of the game! Noble dictating midfield! Bellyache and Diarrhea both pulled down in the box! Victory without Ashton, Parker and Yumberg! Europe here we come! Turds for manager of the month!

Looks like Birmingham, Sunderland and Derby are going to struggle. Bolton and Fulham will also challenge for the bottom three (as predicted b4 the season started). Wigan will struggle when the tougher fixtures arrive. What are we worrying about?

Red Stripe Robbo Stumbles at the First Bar

So, with the taste of sour grapes in their mouths, the Sheffield United Board went in search of somebody who knows his Chardonnay from his Claret (and blue?), his aperitifs from his chasers and his Fosters from his Stella. Stumble onto stage Red Stripe Robbo, whose first pronouncement as manager was that he intends to get Sheffield United back in the Premiership at the first time of asking. Glad to see, even after a celebratory drink, that the new manager has a better grasp of reality than his Chairman who seems to think the club are still in the Premiership anyway!


Last week Robbo graced 606 with his keen intellect. Asked in a 'just for fun' competition to name the goalscorer in an England game he played in, Robbo was given a clue that included the word "bully" and was played a piece of commentary that gave him the name of the opponents - Czechoslovakia - and the name of the goal's architect, a certain Paul Gascoigne. Robbo, bless him, said, "It can't be Gazza, it was too early to be Gazza" (even though Gascoigne's name had featured three times in the short snippet) and failed utterly to link the "bully" clue to Steve Bull. Never mind, he did spot that the opponents were Czechoslovakia and very nearly managed to pronounce the nation correctly!

How on earth was he given the job? Some believe it was a put up job by the License Victualers Association of Sheffield. I am sure that is untrue. Perhaps the Sheffield United Board noted that Robson has a good track record in the Championship and decided to go with "horses for courses" so giving the lie to their protests that they are still a Premiership club. Let's face it, what Premiership club would be mad enough to appoint a man who has guided Middlesborough and West Brom to relegation?


The Board have appointed the wrong man and they are also blaming the wrong club for their relegation. I thought that Premiership rules required clubs to name their strongest available teams in fixtures affecting promotion and relegation issues. If so, shouldn't Liverpool be in the dock for fielding their stiffs against Fulham? Had Liverpool taken that fixture seriously then the Blades would indeed have survived to die another day in the top division.

Never mind all you Blades fans, the Board have at least appointed a man well versed in the skill of "drowning his sorrows". I'm sure he will keep his players' spirits high, that every glass next season will be half full rather than half empty and that even if the players are cheap, the drinks will be reassuringly expensive. A new slogan for Sheffield United under Robbo? Probably not the best team in the world.