Given I'm considered too harsh a critic, I offer you the words of Martin Tyler and Hammer Hero Tony Gale: When Ashton and Boa Morte were breaking two on two: "Boa-Morte doesn't look as if he wants the ball." When Ashton tried to chest trap a ball: "He's struggling to judge the bounce of the ball".
When Green made a hash of coming for two crosses:"He was just standing beneath the cross" and "You've got to be more decisive when coming. He didn't look like getting there." When Cole missed a sitter: "He headed it straight at the keeper. Should have scored."
Of our derailed TGV: "Faubert hasn't really physically turned up for the game. The body language isn't good. He needs to get involved more." When Lucas stood in his six yard box, arms spread wide: "Lucas Neill left it with Robert Green nowhere near." When Mullins shot: "That was a long long long way wide." When Cole tied to control a drilled cross. "You've got to either try to volley or head the ball there, to try to control the ball is all but impossible."
I will take over now! Nobby was brilliant but the goal went in off his arm. Did Boa-Morte cushion the headed pass or was he trying to get out of the way? Not sure! Once Solano was on we looked so much better, which is worrying given he replaced Faubert, our latest "Great hope"! One Nobby pass was, in Gale's words, "World class" and "Out of keeping with the rest of the game."
Noble had a good second half of the second half. Gale again: "The kick in the face seems to have woken him up!" One classic moment when LBM jumped into the back of Cole as he went up for a Nobby cross - Keystone Cops stuff from Little and Large!
Classical Turds substitutions - he gave Ashton 11 minutes to impress Capello ("Cheers boss, I'm off in the summer!") and brought on Spector for Freddie to defend the 1-0 lead aginst 10 men. Typical!
Yes we won but be honest, it was crap, AGAIN! Where was the promised attacking adventure? Where were the promised youngsters? But what about the injuries I hear you whine. It was Fulham! We won with a scrappy goal. Fulham could have had a first half penalty. The passing was, Solano apart, generally awful. We had all the penetration of a eunuch in a chastity belt! Turds is happy of course. Three more points. Nice cup of tea. Lovely views.
Come on dear, time to pack up the caravan and poodle along to the next destination!
1 comment:
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