Upton Park Evacuation Complete

So that's it then. Do we call it ethnic cleansing? Clearing out the dead wood? Cutting ties with the past? Reverting to Year Zero? Getting rid of bad rubbish?

Call it what you will but the final whiff of Nani, Zola, Clarke and Duxbury has been purged with the news that Nouble - the big black hope when "captured" from Chelsea - has joined Wolves on a free. So they have all gone, every man jack of the buggers recruited by the Fab Four.

Let's take this moment, therefore, to lament the passing of an era, to remember those who, in no time at all, will be long forgotten, thinking back fondly and paying homage to a group of players the like of whom, we may never see again.

There was Di Michele, he of the tricky shoe laces. He scored a brilliant goal against West Brom early doors if you remember.

And there was Lopez. His arrival triggered the departure of McCartney and so of Turds. I saw him play against Watford. Fat and shit would sum him up succinctly.

Lastpickeva played in that 1-0 defeat too. Handed Watford their goal on a plate if I remember rightly. Even Green is better under crosses!

Then there was Behrami. Man City wanted him for £16m at one point and West Ham fans screamed no! He went for less than £4m, mysteriously injured until he got his move to Italy where upon he made an instant recovery.

And there was Ilunga of course - great until we gave him a permanent contract!

And Kovac. Scored one great goal, otherwise useless.

And Savio. Savio, Savio, where for art thou Savio?

Don't forget Tristan! The lamp post took one brilliant free kick against Stoke but was otherwise useless.

Then there was da Costa. Costa more than we got for him when we sent him to Siberia!

What about Daprela? Zola saved the kid for the big games - Arsenal twice and Chelsea just to destroy the boy's confidence.

And Diamanti. Playing for Italy now but Zola and Clarke couldn't work out how to utilise his talents.

Don't forget General Franco. He looked half decent for a while but ultimately was too old and too slow.

And remember Jimenez? I called him a duff after watching him in a pre season friendly against Tranbzonspor. I was right!

And Kurucz - Replaced the puking Green against Man Utd and never seen again.

And we mustn't forget McBenni, for though Nani and Duxbury had departed, Zola was desperate for Sullivan and Gold to buy him!

Is it any wonder that Duxbury is out of football, Zola can't find a job, Nani's club was relegated upon his return and that Liverpool were shit with Clarke as Dalglish's assistant?